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MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!

Leia1920 Posted:

MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!

So I asked my best friend to be my maid of honor even though we are not as close as we once were. She recently went through a tough break up about a year and a half ago and has since been dating someone else and they are always together and travel all the time. Since they started dating we are not as close as we once were. Since we got engaged I call her and leave messages adn she either doesn't return my phone call or sends me an email at work the next day what is up.

Recently we had an engagment party and not to sound b**tchy but she and her bf came to the party and were the first ones there. The entire time the party was going on she was quiet and acted like she didn't want to be there. Was also one of the first ones to leave. So the next day FH and I are openging presents and there is no present from her! no idea what this is about. The whole reason I didn't want an eparty was b/c I didn't want people buying us presents which she was very aware of my reasoning. I'm just still shocked she didn't bring anything not even a bottle of wine. I know finances are not an issues as she makes extremely good money and travels to lands i can only dream of going 4-5 times a year.

HELP! i'm at a loss. I dont want to lose our friendship but things are obviously not going good at the moment. i dont know if she's gonna step it up or not. This is the girl I always thoguht would be my MOH and has been with me through it all as I have with her. I just don't understand.

this has been upsetting me for the past few weeks and I have only talked to FH about it. I dont know what to do or if I do address this with her how to address it???
summerbride20 Posted:

Re: MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!

I don't know how to address it because I ignore it myself.

At my engagement party, my entire bridal party didn't show up and NONE of the girls gave gifts- not even a congrats sorry I can't be there card!!! My own brother didn't give me a gift either even though I had given him gifts during his extremely less formal one...

My MOH was weird at first when I told her i was engaged. she put me on hold and then came back on the phone and said 'what were we talking about again?'


.... it happens... it stinks but it happens...
Soon2BRomeo Posted:

Re: MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!

I kinda know how you feel. No one in my BP IMHO is taking this seriously at all. I asked them 2 months ago to order their dress and I get 1 excuse after another. Than I send my MOH ( my sister) a copy of my guest list for the Bridal shower and tried to call her to talk about what idea she has and she freaks out and tells me I am being controling and hangs up. I mean I feel like I have to do everything and that is going to include figuring out my own bridal shower. how rediculas is that! I am not even gonna hold my breath when it comes to a bachlorette party! Its just really disappointing you think everyone is going to excited for you and they aren't or they don't care as much as you thought they would. Honestly the only 1 that asks me what i need for her to do is my sister who is in the Marine Corp and might not even be able to come home for my wedding!

Sorry to take over your post just wanted to share and let you know your not the onlyu one out there!
AwaitingAugust Posted:

Re: MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!

honestly, if you feel like you have already grown apart, then maybe you should ask her to step down from being your MOH (or jsut demote her to BM if you prefer).

as for the gift, maybe she didn't get you anything because you had told her that you don't want an e-party because you don't want presents ... maybe she thought she was doing waht you want.

you should speak to her about how you feel.
julesrbf Posted:

Re: MOH VENT/Question/HELP requested!


Posted by AwaitingAugust



as for the gift, maybe she didn't get you anything because you had told her that you don't want an e-party because you don't want presents ... maybe she thought she was doing waht you want.




I was thinking the same thing. How can you be upset that she didn't get you anything when you told her that you didn't want an e-party because you didn't want people to give you gifts?

I understand there's more going on here so I echo a PP's sentiments that you should speak to her about how you are feeling ... and if your friendship does not improve ... then I would ask her to be a BM instead.

Good luck!

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