my maid of honor is my best friend, and we go all the way back to elementary school. i love her, and i feel blessed to have someone with whom i share so much history. of course there's a but. she recently met someone and they've gotten serious pretty quickly. granted, he's a great guy and i'd be thrilled to see the 2 of them get married, but they only met in may of this year and they're living together and talking about ring shopping.
my weirdness: when i told her my date she told me that she's also planning to do a beach wedding in the summer of '09 and wouldn't it be great to plan together. me? i think i'd rather have a maid of honor who can really help and can afford to be a bridesmaid. she's thinking june, which would mean that we'd be going crazy with her wedding less than a month before mine. not to mention, i'd rather not have to cough up cash for the dress/shower/bach, party while i'm trying to make final payments on my rh.
does the fact that this bothers me make me bridezilla?
JKFris09
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Re: MOH weirdness
What you're feeling is understandable but things like this will happen and you'll just have to go with it and focus on enjoying every minute of your wedding and planning it. Talk to her about how you feel though so harsh feelings do build up between you two.
Future Mulligan
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Re: MOH weirdness
dont get mad at me - but maybe you sound a little bridezilla-ish - but i probably would feel the same way as you - so don't take it the wrong way....the reason i'm saying it is because your friend shouldnt have to put her life on hold just because you are getting married - maybe you are a little jealous? or dont want to share the spotlight with her? you should be happy for her - she's your best friend and i dont think her getting married should affect her being your MOH. it should be exciting to plan together
Cacarina
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Re: MOH weirdness
WHOA, this girl isnt even engaged yet and she's already talking about her wedding??? I really wouldn't read too far into this yet. I would file this under a category I use for my own best friend when she gets out of hand with things: 'I'll believe it when I see it.'
Future Mulligan
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Posted by Cacarina
WHOA, this girl isnt even engaged yet and she's already talking about her wedding??? I really wouldn't read too far into this yet. I would file this under a category I use for my own best friend when she gets out of hand with things: 'I'll believe it when I see it.'
when my FH and I talked about getting engaged we talked about when we would have a wedding - he didnt want to propose to me without discussing it first - and making sure we were on the same page as far as how long the engagement would be and how long it would take to save.....so that doesnt seem weird to me at all......my FH totally surprised me when he proposed but we definitley talked about the wedding beforehand - so that there wouldnt be any false expectations, especially on my side.....some people have 6 months engagements, some people have a 2 year engagment - i think that is def. something that should be discussed before proposing - so for your friend to have 'an idea' of when they will get married isn't strange to me at all......but it may not be the exact date - we originally said a 2 year engagement and we would get married in 2009 - but he surprised by proposing much sooner than i ever would have expected and we are getting married 2008 and only having a 17 month engagement.....so things can change - but i dont find it odd for them to be discussing it......
Cacarina
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Re: MOH weirdness
I totally see what you mean...of course FH and I discussed our wedding before our engagement. But it seems to me that this friend is almost trying to steal the spotlight from her friend before she is even engaged. It just seems strange to me that she would do this. Especially since, like you said yourself, plans can change so quickly. If I were the not-yet-engaged friend, I would have held off on discussing my wedding plans with others until I had the ring on my finger.
Future Mulligan
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Re: MOH weirdness
yeah thats true......i see your point as well!
there are so many variables on this one! maybe she is evil and wants attention or she could be really excited - i know i talked about it alot when i thought my FH was saving money and stuff......this is a toughie!
maybe you should just wait it out and see if they get engaged
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: MOH weirdness
Posted by beram63
my maid of honor is my best friend, and we go all the way back to elementary school. i love her, and i feel blessed to have someone with whom i share so much history. of course there's a but. she recently met someone and they've gotten serious pretty quickly. granted, he's a great guy and i'd be thrilled to see the 2 of them get married, but they only met in may of this year and they're living together and talking about ring shopping.
my weirdness: when i told her my date she told me that she's also planning to do a beach wedding in the summer of '09 and wouldn't it be great to plan together. me? i think i'd rather have a maid of honor who can really help and can afford to be a bridesmaid. she's thinking june, which would mean that we'd be going crazy with her wedding less than a month before mine. not to mention, i'd rather not have to cough up cash for the dress/shower/bach, party while i'm trying to make final payments on my rh.
does the fact that this bothers me make me bridezilla?
Maybe this is just me but I just expect my BP to just show up and look pretty the day of the wedding. What exactly will you need so much help with? I was in a bridal party a few years ago where the bride delegated all these responsibilities and I was like whoa.... when did I sign up for this?
Also, life goes on past planning a wedding... lots of expenses may arise during the planning... you can't expect not to spend money in different places.
Sorry to say this - I won't say it's Bridezilla-ish but I do believe it's selfish.
beram63
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Re: MOH weirdness
Posted by Future Mulligan
yeah thats true......i see your point as well!
there are so many variables on this one! maybe she is evil and wants attention or she could be really excited - i know i talked about it alot when i thought my FH was saving money and stuff......this is a toughie!
maybe you should just wait it out and see if they get engaged
i don't think she has any bad intentions.
little34
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Re: MOH weirdness
I am in the same boat...MOH and i have known one another since we were 5.....we have had our date set for months now and she just got engaged and is planning on getting married in late 08 early 09...i feel like I dont want to plan a wedding with anyone else either!
But you can't take away her happiness..... I am just going to try to be there as much to help plan for her but I am obviously going to be more focused on my big day.
xBrunette
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Re: MOH weirdness
damn that blows.. i was just telling FH yday that I dont want someone to steal my thunder... but then again i dont want to be mean and deprive my friend or someone close to me being happy and planning their wedding.. but you really do want this time for just yourself.. then you wouldn't mind what came along the way...
CNC4eva3402
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Re: MOH weirdness
Well, you know your friend better than anyone, and you said yourself that she doesn't have any bad intentions. If they are discussing getting engaged and getting married now, then I can see why she choose summer '09. It probably doesn't have anything to do with trying to steal your thunder, it might be more of a time-line thing. She most likely wants a summer wedding and '08 is too soon to save and plan for, and 2010 is an extra whole year to put her life and her marriage on hold.
I guess I'm in the minority but I wish so badly I had a close friend to plan with!! I think it would be so much fun!
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: MOH weirdness
That stinks. People can be so....unthinking! I wouldn't feel like a bridezilla. Tell her how you feel, maybe she'll understand when you put in perspective. Remember, they're not even engaged yet, so their plans might change.
Ann 52409
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Re: MOH weirdness
I think you know your friend better than any of us but, if she really is getting arried the sumer of 09 then she probably will want you to be her maid of honor also. maybe once she gets engage you can talk it out and discuss the responsibilities you expect from her and she expects from you. It might not be a compitetion but, I do understand wanting that time to be focused on your day
ilovedave1119
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I agree, you just need to talk to her and get your feelings out there. then you guys can both discuss how you are going to handle eachothers' MOH's while planning your own day.
bluegreen08
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Re: MOH weirdness
I agree it's a little crazy to claim the entire summer of 09. However, unless they were getting married on their anniv (which they are not) it's a little funny for her to pick a date like 3 weeks or so right before yours, of all of the dates out there.
Would you feel better if they picked a date after yours?
FH and I did talk about dates though before we were officially engaged.
She probably subconsciously feels like she is in your shadow and loves her bf so she wants what you have...
