Hi Everyone, I missed you all! It has been one week since Molly Eva's birthday.
Here she is on Coming Home Day (Saturday)
This is one of my favorite photos
I would first like to thank all of my LIW friends for the support and help over the past 39+ weeks. I cannot even imagine having gone through my pregnancy without all of you by 'my side'. I would especially like to thank our very own LIW OBs for their off-line advise and help- you should send me a bill! And a big shout out to Claud for being not only my close personal friend but my posting buddy.
I would also like to add that the following is how I feel/felt. It is NOT a reflection on how other's should feel about c-sections. This is only my personal story, not a commentary!
I am not ready to really discuss the day Molly Eva was born. As almost all of you know the last month of my pregnancy was very difficult emotionally for me. The baby not turning was a very emotionally charged situation and I had to go from a midwife assisted birth using hypnobirthing to a full blow operation full of medical doctors that I barely knew. The truth is I do not feel as if I gave birth. I had an operation and the end result was my blessed daughter for which I am very thankful and lucky. But I feel incomplete, like I am lacking some very powerful experience and still have nightmares. There are many issues that I do not want to get into here but I will just say that I had many long standing fears thrown at me all at once and it has taken a lot out of me. I was very lucky to find a few support groups online last month and found that many other women feel like I do. So I know that I am not crazy for not only being able to 'see the end result'. My feelings about the operations do not diminish my love for my child at all.
So, maybe in a few weeks I will give a more detail story about Molly Eva's birthday but for now I am just thankful that she is healthy and full of smiles and am trying to resolve my feelings about that day.
We hit a few snags with bfing due to the drugs, the lack of support at the hospital (Thanksgiving week =short staffed) and the baby losing more weight than they wanted her to. So I was told to supplement the day before we were scheduled to go home or the on-staff ped told me that I might not be able to take her home (she hinted at it). After 2 bottles Molly decided it was way toooo easy to use a bottle and bfing hit the fan. BUT with the support of my wonderful, loving husband we have been able to start to get back on track. Today we went to Molly's first doctor's appointment and the ped is VERY supportive of bfing and even a bfing educator (one of the reasons that I picked her) she said that with some effort I can get back on track. We also went to a lacation consultant appointment tonight. It cost us a pretty penny and I almost didn't go because of the $$ but Scott insisted that I try since it is so important to me. Truthfully, Molly will most likely need formula supplements but at least we will be able to bf effectively for a lot of the time. And that is okay by me.
Now for some really good stuff- my baby almost always sleeps 4-6 hours at night. I actually wake her to feed her. Now, that could change as the drugs go out of her system. Plus the ped said that there is no way of knowing if she was really ready to come into our World on the day of the operation (since I didn't go into natural labor first). But for now, we get to sleep pretty well- Again, that could easily change.
Molly Eva is truly a gift to Scott and I and Beemer too! I cannot believe how many outfits she has already! I wish I had 1/2 the amount of clothes that she does
![]()
- and yes, she has many outfits complete with hats already!
Again, I look forward to sharing this journey of motherhood with all of you. You have been a tremendous support system for me and I will never, ever forget that!!!
