Mom is driving me nuts....

Girls, this is going to be and long vent, but I've gotta talk to someone, b/c I know FH is tired of hearing it already....

My mother is driving me insane. I know that I am her first daughter to get married, and she's probably been thinking about planning for this day since I was a little girl, but she's becoming so overbearing and intolerable that I am ready to cancel all of my vendors and just elope.

My engagement party is this weekend, and we're having it at my FIL's house. So naturally, they're more than happy to plan and pay for it. My mother can not accept this. She insists on helping with costs, which is very kind of her...her heart's in the right place. She insists on cooking for the party, doing the favors, and buying the plates, forks, cups, mosquitto candles, you name it she wants to have a say in it. My FIL's are getting a little offended by it. Although they haven't said anything to me, nor would they, my FH has mentioned it to me on more than one occassion that my mom seems to be controlling everything.

I asked her to lay off a little, and she became so offended that she wouldn't talk to me. I just feel like I can't do this-- and this is just our engagement party. I just don't know how I can look forward to my wedding if it's going to be 9 more months of this...I'm ready to give up.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading

do we have the same mother?!!

i've also posted some hysterical vents about my mom. i don't really have any advice b/c i'm going through the same, if not worse.

but i'll send lots of hugs. fm me if you want.

It sounds like your mother means well, and although it is the wedding couples day.. your probably right..your mother probably has pictured this for some time now. She probably just wants you to remember how big of a part she played in your wedding, because she loves you so much. I wouldn't ask her to back off, and having her and your FH's parents try to decide who will pay for what might not be such a good idea, because of what happened. I would try focusing her attention on other parts of the wedding she could help pay for. For example... ask her if since your FH's parents wanted to pay for the engagement party, if maybe she could pay for your dress, and sound excited about it when you ask her. If she insists on paying for everything, I would just tell her that you know how much the day means to her and how much she loves you, but that the other parts of the family wanna help pay too, and that it is very important to you to let everyone feel included. I hope everything works out

Well you have to remember, you're her GIRL! This is SUPER exciting for her too! And god bless her for having the capability to even OFFER the help! I know ALOT of familys [my FMIL lol] who don't have the money, or simply WONT do it... You're blessed with 2 very loving and generous families!!!

I know it's overwhelming. My mother kept insisting that wehold the wedding off until 2008, then finally we booked it for 2007. She's fine with it now. Then it was the E-party, she wanted it later on, I didn't. Again, we kept coming to terms... it's really annoying but you have to just understand she's xcited too!!!

Maybe sit her down and tell her you want her help and you want her there to visit RHs etc... but YOU will make the final decision bc it is YOUR wedding...

??? I don't know... take it for what it's worth! Best of luck!

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Posted by Audreygirl

do we have the same mother?!!

i've also posted some hysterical vents about my mom. i don't really have any advice b/c i'm going through the same, if not worse.

but i'll send lots of hugs. fm me if you want.

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I second that!!! Mine got on my nerves this weekend. But hey that is what they are there for.

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Posted by jenn122397

Dont worry about it - My mom didn't talk to me for like a week because i told her it wasnt her wedding (we got ina fight because she was planning a shower that SHE would want and is SOOOO not me). She evntually got over. I hope everything works out!

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How long before your mom got over it...I love my mom, and I appreciate her so much...but I can't wait until the wedding is over. This whole planning thing just isn't what I imagined it would be.

Don't let ot get to you. I can totally relate. After FH and I got engaged both of mothers became crazy. We were at the point were we wanted to elope. They have finally calmed down and have decided to go w/ the flow and let us do what we want. But I have to say that you need to be stern and let then know this is your day. They sometimes forget what this is all about. Don't forget that his parents may have there moments as well. It may not have shown yet.....LOL Good Luck.

Hang in there, in a way I am kind of jealous. My mother is zero involved in my wedding and has no interest in anything involving it. It *****. So I would take an overly involved mother over that any day.

one day at a time with your mom, remember her heart is in the right place

I can totally relate!!! My mom pissed me off the first time I took her to see the first catering hall that fh and i wanted to book. well she ripped it apart and just became a witch!!!!lol... putting it mildy.

I know this is stressful for you and you don't want to hurt her feelings but remind her when it comes to your bridal shower, she has full say in it!!! I planned my engagement party and sent mom an invite in the mail!!!

good luck dont' sweat it...she'll come around...just remember BRIDAL SHOWER!!!!