Mom Sure Does Need Tissues:
Sorry long, but I'm very sad and need to vent.
Both my children are being married this year. My son’s is in July. My daughter and her FH along with my son and his FW were over this past weekend and while we all were sitting talking about the weddings, progress, ideas, etc, my son brought me up to speed on their plans.
My son and I live in upstate NY and I know things are done so different up here than on LI. But this is making my daughter and I nuts. Here goes:
All of our family/friends that will be attending the wedding will be coming from LI. They originally planned on an outdoor reception following the ceremony. That’s fine, but with keeping the weather in mind, they chose to relocate the reception to the local fire station, which holds 300 people.
They’re planning on an informal reception before the ceremony and then another formal reception after the ceremony. Now here's the plan:
? Get in your car and travel 4-5 hours to motel
? Get in your car to the informal reception 12 – 5 (BBQ will be served)
? Get in your car, go back to motel to get ready for the ceremony
? Get in your car and go to the ceremony (7pm)
? Get in your car and go to the formal reception (wedding cake, coffee, desserts will be served, and everything else that would go along with a traditional reception)
? Get in your car, go back to motel after reception
? Get in your car and head back home.
My daughter tried to explain the nonsense of this plan in a very tactful way. They say “it’s a way for the families to meet and get aquatinted” then if this is the case, why did his dad and I do an engagement party for them, which our family and friends traveled for and only 10 of her family show up. They say that all the information will be listed on the invitations. When we asked whose idea this was she said “my mom”. And they’re all for it.
We tried to bring all the concerns to accommodate our out of town guests to their attention, but they kept telling us “mom knows what she’s doing, this is what she wants”. Well whose day is it anyway? We also tried to explain that we have hair appointments, and his comment was “change the time”. I’m showering before I get my hair done and I refuse to break a sweat after that. It’s going to be nothing but a run around.
I have planned and organized the RD for Friday night, rented a tent to hold 30 people, (I can’t fit that many in my house) made my menu, food list, decorations, RD favors; and I’m doing a grooms cake because she doesn’t know what it is. Everything that I need to do is ½ way done. I’m hosting an open house on Saturday and Saturday night for the guests arriving a day earlier, and I’m also hosting a brunch Monday for the guests before they head back down to LI. I’ve got all my part under control and it makes all the sense in the world.
They don’t want to hear anything we have to suggest. Her mom is running the show. I know that its very different with a son getting married, the involvement mainly but after all, this is his day too. Not only the bride and her mom. If I have been 5% involved with this that’s a lot. I’ve been 110% involved with my daughters as well as her FMIL. Its our children getting married, not just our child.
I’m so upset over this plan it brings me to tears. This is supposed to be a very joyous day for me but instead I have a feeling of I can’t wait till its over. It’s totally sad.
Any suggestions and comments would be appreciated!
Both my children are being married this year. My son’s is in July. My daughter and her FH along with my son and his FW were over this past weekend and while we all were sitting talking about the weddings, progress, ideas, etc, my son brought me up to speed on their plans.
My son and I live in upstate NY and I know things are done so different up here than on LI. But this is making my daughter and I nuts. Here goes:
All of our family/friends that will be attending the wedding will be coming from LI. They originally planned on an outdoor reception following the ceremony. That’s fine, but with keeping the weather in mind, they chose to relocate the reception to the local fire station, which holds 300 people.
They’re planning on an informal reception before the ceremony and then another formal reception after the ceremony. Now here's the plan:
? Get in your car and travel 4-5 hours to motel
? Get in your car to the informal reception 12 – 5 (BBQ will be served)
? Get in your car, go back to motel to get ready for the ceremony
? Get in your car and go to the ceremony (7pm)
? Get in your car and go to the formal reception (wedding cake, coffee, desserts will be served, and everything else that would go along with a traditional reception)
? Get in your car, go back to motel after reception
? Get in your car and head back home.
My daughter tried to explain the nonsense of this plan in a very tactful way. They say “it’s a way for the families to meet and get aquatinted” then if this is the case, why did his dad and I do an engagement party for them, which our family and friends traveled for and only 10 of her family show up. They say that all the information will be listed on the invitations. When we asked whose idea this was she said “my mom”. And they’re all for it.
We tried to bring all the concerns to accommodate our out of town guests to their attention, but they kept telling us “mom knows what she’s doing, this is what she wants”. Well whose day is it anyway? We also tried to explain that we have hair appointments, and his comment was “change the time”. I’m showering before I get my hair done and I refuse to break a sweat after that. It’s going to be nothing but a run around.
I have planned and organized the RD for Friday night, rented a tent to hold 30 people, (I can’t fit that many in my house) made my menu, food list, decorations, RD favors; and I’m doing a grooms cake because she doesn’t know what it is. Everything that I need to do is ½ way done. I’m hosting an open house on Saturday and Saturday night for the guests arriving a day earlier, and I’m also hosting a brunch Monday for the guests before they head back down to LI. I’ve got all my part under control and it makes all the sense in the world.
They don’t want to hear anything we have to suggest. Her mom is running the show. I know that its very different with a son getting married, the involvement mainly but after all, this is his day too. Not only the bride and her mom. If I have been 5% involved with this that’s a lot. I’ve been 110% involved with my daughters as well as her FMIL. Its our children getting married, not just our child.
I’m so upset over this plan it brings me to tears. This is supposed to be a very joyous day for me but instead I have a feeling of I can’t wait till its over. It’s totally sad.
Any suggestions and comments would be appreciated!
