Mom Vent!!

My mom asked me today when i was going dress shopping again. ( i had gone once before with my MOH & BM) I told her im ging thursday with my MOH. So she asked when she was going to come and I told her she can come if she wants or she can come when i narrow it down at least to a couple dresses. I told her i want her to come and that i would also like FMI to come. SHE WIGGED!!! She went off on me on how im her daughter, not hers, she has a daughter (whos not married) and that this is her thing to do and that she wont ever have this again (I have a sister but she wont ever get married and if she does it would be in vegas). I told her I wanted FMI to come towards the end when the final fittings are and she didnt care. She doesnt want anyone to see this dress except for her! I was like well she is going to be my MI, and i thought it would be nice, but apparently she doesnt think so.
Should i not ask my FMI, or should i just go do what i want to do and if she gets mad ,she gets mad!
Oye!!! moms are CRAZY!!!!

My mom pretty much had the same reaction when I suggested the same. FH and I are only children, and I thought it would be nice for my FMIL to be included. So now, I'm going to ask FMIL to come to the final fittings. My mom was fine with that.

I have been trying to keep my FMIL involved in every aspect b/c I just thin it is a nice thing to do, but I did just go with my mom dress shopping...if your mom feels so strongly about it then I think I might just go with her and involoove your FMIL in other aspects of wedding planning

wow i'm sorry to hear that. maybe that was just her initial reaction and she'll calm down a bit...she should realize that you gaining a new family but that doesn't mean anyone will replace her.

i'm sorry, that stinks. i hope she chills out a little.

i think it's really nice to include FMIL ..especially if you guys have a good relationship. My girlfriend and her DH were together since they were like 16 and just got married this yr...they've been together almost 10 years so her and her FMIL are pretty close and she included her in as much as she could and i know she really appreciated that cause she only has boys! her mom came with her to look for dresses then she took FMIL to her final fittings to see it.. i would do what you feel is right. Your mom will calm down i'm sure..maybe she just felt left out by the fact that you had already been shopping without her..moms take the wedding planning more seriously than the brides sometimes...they want to be a part of every detail..and i guess i'd feel the same way if it was my daughter!! You can't possibly keep everyone happy while planning..someone is always gonna be hurt or mad by something! i hope it works out for you

well i agree with ur mom...i think she should be able t go with u to check out ur dress b4 fmil does...shes the mob...its a big deal. i wouldnt have gone dress shoppin without my mom.

i mean the fact that others cant see ur dress at all other than her is crazy

Your mom is probably under a lot of stress too. She is your mother and wants to share it with just you. This is probably a very special thing for her.

You're very lucky to have a mother who cares. I would give anything to have my mother here with me during all of this.

i got the same reaction when iaccidentally suggested that mom and mil wear the same color dress.. i think my mom literally rolled her eyes at me.. (which she has never EVER done)..

i say let her have this.. it's her day to in a way.. especially if ur sister would not have a full on wedding.. give her this.. there will be plenty for mil to be involved in..

I am going through the same thing right now, only my mom is more passive and I almost think this makes her crazier. The veil that goes with my dress is about $700. I mentioned to FMIL how I saw this gorgeous veil but it's a lot of money so I don't know if I will end up with it. The next day she took me aside and said no matter how much it costs, it is her gift to me and she wants to buy it for me. I told my mom and she said 'very nice' and that's it. Then, a few weekends later, my mom was drinking at a bbq and started CRYING saying 'we can't give jessie all the things she wants' in front of other people. I started FREAKING OUT and basically said 'you're wrong, you're giving so much and i am getting every single thing i want.' then she whispered 'you turned to your mother in law to get you a veil because you think i can't.' Keep in mind, my mother has given me a VERY generous budget and if I was dying to have this veil, I could figure out how to get it on her budget. It was CRAZY TALK. I can't let FMIL do anything or my Mom takes it as a sign that I believe she is deficient in some way.

What is up with our Moms?!?!?!?!

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Posted by Jess125483

I am going through the same thing right now, only my mom is more passive and I almost think this makes her crazier. The veil that goes with my dress is about $700. I mentioned to FMIL how I saw this gorgeous veil but it's a lot of money so I don't know if I will end up with it. The next day she took me aside and said no matter how much it costs, it is her gift to me and she wants to buy it for me. I told my mom and she said 'very nice' and that's it. Then, a few weekends later, my mom was drinking at a bbq and started CRYING saying 'we can't give jessie all the things she wants' in front of other people. I started FREAKING OUT and basically said 'you're wrong, you're giving so much and i am getting every single thing i want.' then she whispered 'you turned to your mother in law to get you a veil because you think i can't.' Keep in mind, my mother has given me a VERY generous budget and if I was dying to have this veil, I could figure out how to get it on her budget. It was CRAZY TALK. I can't let FMIL do anything or my Mom takes it as a sign that I believe she is deficient in some way.

What is up with our Moms?!?!?!?!

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I dont know but im thinking that i should now get married on some deserted island!!
My mom is the same way with FMIL. Very competative. I guarantee in like a week she will be happy and be like 'oh thats a great idea for FMIL to come'. She does that. Dont get me wrong i love my mom but sometimes shes crazy!