monday pick me ups

i kinda love this one:






PHOTOBOMBS:



















learn from my fail:
When grabbing a gumball out of the bag your roomate left on the desk, make sure they are actually gumballs and not paintballs. #LFMF
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When checking your woodstove, never open it right after it finished a burning cycle. You will lose more than an eyebrow. #LFMF
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If you are using as industrial grade epoxy and some spills on the floor, don't wipe it away with your foot. When you show up for lunch break with only one shoe, it is hard to live down. #LFMF
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If you ever feel tempted to touch the cigarette lighter in your car, don't. Just don't. #LFMF
i've done that..
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When about to jump out and scare someone, make sure they don't have an almost boiling cup of coffee in their hand, you WILL get a hot cup of lava in your face #LFMF
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When you use long cables to connect your bedroom's PC to the big living room's HDTV to watch movies you've downloaded, make sure your turn clone mode OFF before browsing for porn. #LFMF
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Always. Take. Off. The. Poptart. Wrapper. The firemen now know you by name. #LFMF
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When you're a waitress and the table you're serving asks you to give a birthday shout out for their kid, never yell 'Attention! This little girl is celebrating her 12th birthday today!' if there's the slightest possibility she's a boy. #LFMF
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Do not shine a black light in a college dorm room you will be living in for the next few months. You will see stains. These stains can not be unseen. #LFMF
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tfln & fml tbc...

TFLN & FML


(518):

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
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(403):

I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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(212):

He kept screaming 'it's so seductive' while he was humping the wall
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(830):

He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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(440):

I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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(608):

I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
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Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with 'Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton.' FML
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Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML
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Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so 'important'. A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML
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Today, I walked into my living room to find my younger sister wearing my wedding dress for my wedding in a week. My aunts and parents were crowded around her; they all agreed she looked much better and slim in it than I do. FML
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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess
Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so 'important'. A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

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hahaha, that sounds liek an awesome game

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess
Today, I walked into my living room to find my younger sister wearing my wedding dress for my wedding in a week. My aunts and parents were crowded around her; they all agreed she looked much better and slim in it than I do. FML

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I would kill my entire family ... i seriously would.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

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Posted by Im_My_Own_Princess
Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so 'important'. A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

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hahaha, that sounds liek an awesome game

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you never played robot unicorn attack???

omg, i posted on FB MONTHS ago that i was bored and a friend of mine said 'play this' and i was like hooked... its freaking hard though.