monday/tuesday ha-ha's....

if i repost from jills post, i apologize.










How Come Their Pet Gets a Face?




I’ve got nothing bad to say about these adorable girls in their matching dresses. They are just so damn cute! I do, however, wonder about the groom’s shirt. Is the sheer top layer a popular fashion trend that I’m unaware of? Just wondering.


In case you couldn’t tell, this is a wedding dress comprised entirely of metal band t-shirts. It’s a tapestry of hard rocking awesomeness. I like to think she bought each one at a show (rather than off a website), but I also like to think that they were washed before being sewn together. If you’re a frequenter of metal shows, you know what I’m talking about.



(i wonder how many girls are being rushed to the dr after reading that one )




































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When getting a haircut and you agree with what your barber just said, don't nod while he is using the buzzer. #LFMF
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When about to sneeze, remember that just five minutes earlier you were holding in a pee. Those muscles work together sometimes and you will have to change. #LFMF
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When your mother mentions that she's bought something your dad will complain about, what you don't want to say next is 'well you like making dad moan.' That is a mental image that never goes away #LFMF
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If your friend goes to look down a glass elevator shaft and hits their head on the outer glass wall they didn't see, don't try to see what happened by doing the exact same thing. You will look that much more stupid. #LFMF
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TBC...

omg soo many good ones

the google earth one and the cinnamon bun earring almost made me pee myself

that egg masturbating thing was hilarious .... up until the very end where it got really REALLY wrong.

You just made my day!

where on earth do u find this sh!t??

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Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was 'saving it for a special occasion.' FML
^ that would be me lol
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Today, I went out to eat with my girlfriend. The waiter came up and was being nice. He said, 'What can I get you two gentlemen?' FML
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Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML
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Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML
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Today, I went to the waterpark and my kids were fighting so I grounded them both. We concluded the day by boogey boarding on a mechanical wave. There was so much water I didn't realize my boobs had completely fallen out of my bikini. As revenge, my kids didn't tell me. FML
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Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would 'marry his sexy voice' I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML
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Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, 'Yeah, but she sure is a screamer.' My parents then exchange a look and say, 'Oh trust us, we know.' FML
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Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently though it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
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Today, while at work, I got a call. They left a voicemail. It was a 7 minute voicemail of the mattress squeaking and my mom screaming my dad's name. I am going to their house for supper tonight. FML
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tfln tomorrow