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More on the ex drama

HSsweethearts Posted:

More on the ex drama

So he's coming into town next week, which got me thinking about this whole thing.

We made plans to hang out twice next week.

He just found out his family (they are ugh..the worst) made plans to go away for half of the week he'll be in town. He lives halfway across the country, he comes home to the NY area twice a year and his family is going to AC for half the time with his brother's gf.

I feel so bad for him.
leesah85 Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

i know you're in a hard place, but you're not his 'keeper' either.

I would just make it seem like you're very busy - not outright mean - but definitely give him a bit of the cold shoulder. You don't want to jeopardize your relationship with FH over this.

VCanizalez Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

I think just like leesa too...

But to be honest....


I think U are playing with FIRE too much...
I love you chica, and u knwo it, but i gotta be realistic now.. U are playing too much....

U are way too CONCERN for him...

He is a grown up...
If u are TOO concern for him... ur Fh will start to see this and u will start ur marriage the Wrong way...

Im getting Married Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

l'm a bit confused why do you feel bad for him? lsn't it better for him to hang with his family then hanging around you

meghan13 Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama


Posted by VCanizalez

I think just like leesa too...

But to be honest....


I think U are playing with FIRE too much...
I love you chica, and u knwo it, but i gotta be realistic now.. U are playing too much....

U are way too CONCERN for him...

He is a grown up...
If u are TOO concern for him... ur Fh will start to see this and u will start ur marriage the Wrong way...




I hate to say it but I kind of agree. You seem very concerned about it.
HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama


Posted by Im getting Married

l'm a bit confused why do you feel bad for him? lsn't it better for him to hang with his family then hanging around you



They are leaving him behind!

He used to be my best friend, so I just feel bad. He just has a lot of really crappy stuff going on in his life right now.

I made plans to see him twice. I have to work so I can't hang with him 24/7. Plus his hotel is out in NJ where his family lives.
HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

It's not going to cause problems with FH. I've been with FH for 11/5 years. Fh has known this guy the whole time, hung out with him. I originally thought the dude was bringing his gf with him so I asked FH is he wanted to set up a double date and he said 'No thank you'. So he feels no need to chaperone.

Like I said before, one of my other exes (who I dated a lot longer than this guy) is one of my best friends, and FH wouldn't even care if I stayed over his place...he trusts me. He's just always concerned that me and this guy are going to have another fight and I'll be hurt.

But it's like, ughh..with all of this crap (his parents, who are and have always been totally abusive) are both dying of cancer... so it's just like one more reason I don't want to hurt him and I feel bad.
VCanizalez Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama


Posted by HSsweethearts

It's not going to cause problems with FH. I've been with FH for 11/5 years. Fh has known this guy the whole time, hung out with him. I originally thought the dude was bringing his gf with him so I asked FH is he wanted to set up a double date and he said 'No thank you'. So he feels no need to chaperone.

Like I said before, one of my other exes (who I dated a lot longer than this guy) is one of my best friends, and FH wouldn't even care if I stayed over his place...he trusts me. He's just always concerned that me and this guy are going to have another fight and I'll be hurt.

But it's like, ughh..with all of this crap (his parents, who are and have always been totally abusive) are both dying of cancer... so it's just like one more reason I don't want to hurt him and I feel bad.



U know chica, i am truly sorry u are going thru this....

I still think This has gone way too far...
After reading everything yesterday... that ur Fh doesnt want him at the wedding... he is on meds.... he can cause drama at ur wedding,,,
and this?...

Ever relationship is different... but i am not liking this AT ALL... Im sorry....
Dint get mad at me.. i just still think
U are playing TOO much with fire...
Ur too concern for him up to this point...
he is a grown up....
Im getting Married Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

Oh. l thought you felt bad he was going with them. l just think you should hang with him for the plans you made if that is what you want but he his grown l think he can find his own entertainment

HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

Yeah, I was just pointing out another reason why I feel so bad, why I don't want to hurt him, and why I feel like I understand WHY he has problems.

Anyway, our conversations have been pretty normal recently. If he seems like totally normal this week, maybe that means things will be ok and he won't go psycho at the wedding.
justnicethings Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama

Why can't he go to AC too????
Don't feel bad, though. It is not your responsibility to fix what's wrong in his life and his family's miscommunications.
HSsweethearts Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama


Posted by justnicethings

Why can't he go to AC too????
Don't feel bad, though. It is not your responsibility to fix what's wrong in his life and his family's miscommunications.



They're kind of ditching him. Like they knew he was coming in and made other plans. It's not surprising given their history. last Christmas there was a 5 way fist fight.

ETA: Can you tell I have this 'gotta save everyone' personality?
rosatemp Posted:

Re: More on the ex drama


Posted by meghan13


Posted by VCanizalez

I think just like leesa too...

But to be honest....


I think U are playing with FIRE too much...
I love you chica, and u knwo it, but i gotta be realistic now.. U are playing too much....

U are way too CONCERN for him...

He is a grown up...
If u are TOO concern for him... ur Fh will start to see this and u will start ur marriage the Wrong way...




I hate to say it but I kind of agree. You seem very concerned about it.



This both

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