I am sorry to post this but I would like to hear others comments and suggestions. I am having such a hard time with FH mother she acts as if she doesn't want to be bothered with anything as far as the wedding is concerned. I have tried to talk with her on several occassions and her attitude is so nonchalant. Well I asked her about her dress and hair and she wants to do what she wants to do. I am so fed up and at this point I could careless if she will attend or not. Now which points out a very good question I am wondering if I should cancel the corsages for her to wear during the wedding? I feel she wouldn't appreciate it anyway. Also i asked if she could help us pay for the rehearsal dinner and her response was I doubt it. wowwww
MrsJPH2012
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
I definately wouldn't cancel the corsage. I know that I would want to be spiteful in this case, and it would be hard, but I think you have to continue being the better person.
Does FH have any opinion on this? It may be that she is having a hard time with him 'leaving the nest' or some other reason that you may not see.
As far as the rehersal dinner, budget and plan for things as if they will not be supporting you, and then if she comes around and provides a gift, you can put it towards a or fund
lisam1113
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
I'm so sorry your having a difficult time with her. I have had a few with my FMIL also. We have a 10month old son & she loves commenting on EVERYTHING!!! I may not know your whole situation with her but don't cancel the corsage. You don't want her to throw it up in your face in the future (if she's a grudge holder). Be 'the better person' & try not to let her get to you! Does your fiance know of all she says & does? Talk it over with him & see if you could talk to her about them helping pay for the rehearsal dinner. Hope things work out for you!
Debbie2011
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
this has got to be hard. you can try doing what i used to teach my 2nd graders to do... give an 'i feel' message (haha!)
seriously, though, it can work on adults too...
'i feel... that when i talk about my wedding and you don't engage in conversation with me about it, that you don't care to be involved with the wedding planning process.'
you can then ask her if, perhaps, that is not the case? ask her to what extent she would like to be involved? you can also share with her your own thoughts about how much you'd like her to be an active participant in your and her son's wedding (if that's what you want, of course).
it seems to me that there's a bigger issue at hand than simply whether or not you should get her a corsage. maybe there's more on her mind than wedding items, and having a dialogue with her about those other things might prove more fruitful in the end.
keep us posted on what happens!
Soon2bShea
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
Posted by Debbie2011
this has got to be hard. you can try doing what i used to teach my 2nd graders to do... give an 'i feel' message (haha!)
seriously, though, it can work on adults too...
'i feel... that when i talk about my wedding and you don't engage in conversation with me about it, that you don't care to be involved with the wedding planning process.'
you can then ask her if, perhaps, that is not the case? ask her to what extent she would like to be involved? you can also share with her your own thoughts about how much you'd like her to be an active participant in your and her son's wedding (if that's what you want, of course).
it seems to me that there's a bigger issue at hand than simply whether or not you should get her a corsage. maybe there's more on her mind than wedding items, and having a dialogue with her about those other things might prove more fruitful in the end.
keep us posted on what happens!
I agree with this!! Or approaching her and saying that 'it hurts my feelings that...you don't seem interested in the wedding' ....the 'hurting my feelings' is a wake-up call for some people
Debbie2011
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
Posted by Soon2bShea
I agree with this!! Or approaching her and saying that 'it hurts my feelings that...you don't seem interested in the wedding' ....the 'hurting my feelings' is a wake-up call for some people
ooops, thanks soon2bshea... been several years since i've done these 'i feel messages'... i totally forgot about the whole feelings part of it!!
okay, take 2:
'I feel sad when I talk about my wedding and you don't engage in conversation with me about it, because it makes me think you don't care to be involved with the wedding planning process.'
futureMrsJSL
Posted:
Member since
Re: mother in law blues
When it comes to the MIL's don't give them any ammunition (they will take it and run with it). You should definitely still get her the corsage. As far as wedding planning goes, try and keep that between you & FH. When the time gets closer she will most likely want to be involved because she will not want to feel left out. Sometimes the fact that their sons are getting married causes them to act a little weird but sooner or later they get over it. Whatever you do, do not let her behavior ruin what should be one of the happiest moment for FH & you.
