Mother-in-laws

Please tell me someone else is having as much trouble with their mother-in-law as I am. She think this is her wedding!! She shows up with checklists at bridal shows, tried telling me what wedding song to use, is planning a group Yankee game the day before the wedding and can't understand why I wont go and dont want my FH to go!! And she had the nerve to say to me 'I have news for you, I am paying for the DJ, I get to pick what songs get played.' I can't take her. She even called my parents to find out 'what they were contributing financially' as if it's any of her business!! Please help, before I explode!

wow! that's bad!
i wish there was something i could suggest to make it better...
I am so grateful for my FMIL now
Want to share her?

Ok Since I have my own Monster in law issues-- first what does your FI say about this?
What is he doing about this?

What I have found to work( believe me there is not much that helps) is that when their 'babies' put them in their place they are soooo taken aback that they shut up for quite sometime and then when it starts again the same approach. Frankie has had to talk to his mother a 'few' times (as far as wedding stuff she has been pretty good! His sister on the other hand forget it!) Tell him to talk to her. You need him to do this!

I wish I could share! Thanks for the offer!

Fortunately I have nothing that compares to what you're going through. There have been a few 'suggestions' but after the same suggestions being repeated multiple times, I finally said that I wanted something different than what she was suggesting. I have very strong opinions and she already knows this.
I think you have to really be assertive with telling her 'That's not what I have in mind'. I don't know if it would help to tell her what you DO want, maybe she'd be happy to be included.
As far as the DJ, NO ONE will have a say in what gets played at my weddng but me and FH!! She's got alot of nerve and I would tell her that you'll pay for the DJ yourself if she continues to think that she has a say in the music.
Explain to her that your understanding of her financial contribution to the wedding was that it was a GIFT. Her demands are conditional. If it's not a gift, then ask her to explain exactly what it is. That should get some silence from her, for a while anyway!

You need to learn the biggest rule of wedding planning KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT YOUR PLANS. That's right, do not ask for opinions unless your truly want it. Do not offer up any info, because then people just say 'oh, my idea is better'
Here was my #1 phrase of my planning days 'we are not sure yet'. If someone gave me an idea I hated I said 'Thanks for the info. We are not sure yet what our decision will be.' It works great, I promise you.

Stop inviting your FMIL to these showcases. Go with a supportive friend instead. You are the only one that can keep this in check. Take back control of your wedding and you will be much, much happier.

My FMIL and I have our good days and our bad days, but nothing in comparison to what you are going through. I am sorry to hear this. Best of Luck

that is pretty bad...
you really have to make sure you and your fiance dont tell her what your doing.. dont tell her of any of the bridal shows... dont tell her of who your looking at... just go to the places, book them then tell her who you booked.. and she should definately not be telling you that she gets to pick the music..
you know what happens with the dj... You and your fiance have an apointment with them closer to the date, you sit down and give him a list of what you want played and what you dont want.. and he will listen to only what you 2 want because he is there to please you!..

my mother was trying to get too involved.. and i got to that point where i told her after it was done cause she started questioning everything and its been working so far

That's why I INSISTED on paying for the wedding myself!!

I don't care if I have to sell my kidneys!! I will NOT give anyone the option to say ANYTHING!!!

Good Luck!