Moving In With FI

Moving In With FI

Re: Moving In With FI

I kind of went through that too when I moved in with my FH. It was hard to adjust to the sharing etc. I think since you said you have lived with EX BFs before, this time it is really hitting you that this is IT - where as before, it was more casual?? Just my guess. Either way, what an adjustment - especially cleaning the bathroom yuk

I had the same issue I was hysterical over so many stupid things but recently have calmed down a little. Who knows! And it is good to spend time separate sometimes. In the beginning, whenever the TV was on we HAD to watch it together. Well, you know what?? I don't wanna watch JAG! I wanna watch American Idol ! LOL So soon after we moved in, I started watching my shows separately. It have each of us a little breather !

Re: Moving In With FI

It is true- after awhile you don't feel the need to entertain each other as much. You can do your own thing.

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FH and I have lived together for about a year now. I often stress over everything, cry and turn into someone that I don't even want to know. It happened when we first moved in and it's happening again now that it's getting close to the wedding. Luckily, he knows me better than I know myself and he is putting up with it (and manages to still love me)...Thank God!!!

Hang in there and hope he does too...

Re: Moving In With FI

Kelly,

I could have written the same post about myself!

He calls my fits 'bundling' as in 'you are a BUNDLE of nerves' LOL

Re: Moving In With FI

I did that at first when I moved in w/ FH (3 years ago). I sat in my half empty apartment looking around and realized that I wasn't going to have 'my space' anymore with all of my things my way. And after we moved in, the first three months were so rough, but I calmed down and eventually realized my space was better with him in it.

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It's very hard at first, but it gets better later, after you get used to each other being there all the time! After a while you develop a certain routine that allows both of you to have privacy even if the other one is home! DH knows that when I am reading a really good book he better leave me alone, so he just goes to watch TV or surf the Internet. And visa versa! There was a lot of tears and heavy fights and hating each other’s guts! A LOT! After some months it gets much, much better! Hang in there! Good luck! It's going to work!

Re: Moving In With FI

Jen...

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I feel so much better! It's just such a weird concept that these are the last days I will ever live my life alone. For real, not just the wedding, but the act of moving in with the one. I feel like I want to play with barbies or watch a cartoon or something!

Re: Moving In With FI

i struggled with this too. i really love being alone. we moved in together about 6 months ago and i'm still adjusting. luckily fi is very sensitive to my need for alone time and will occasionally go out somewhere so i can have an hour alone. it's a tough adjustment and a big life change, but you love each other and are getting married so it should work out after a while. just try not to stress too much!

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I think about this allot. I still live with my parents but I have my room and my stuff is where it belongs. I get all teary eyed when I think about the day I will no longer be able to scream for my sister, or call my mom to bring me something to my room, or run down the stairs when I see my dad pulling into the driveway to greet him. All those little things will soon be memories in the past. But I sooo look forward to having FH be a part of my future living arrangements so we can create memories of our own.

Re: Moving In With FI

I have been living with FH for exactly 1 year today!
When I first moved in I was sad, almost that I lost a part of myself. I lived in my own little NYC studio for 3 years and LOVED my independance. it took a few months to get over this, and now I can't imagine not having him there.

It will take time, but you'll see, it will be wonderful!!!!

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My FH and I have lived together two years as of next week. The first six months were really, really hard. I'd moved here from 7 hours away (we'd had a long distance relationship for two years! We ment and dated in college for a year but ended up with jobs so we were 6 hour drive from each other), had lived on my own and we moved to Brooklyn so he's an hour and a half from his family and friends too.

Well, as I said, the first six months were really difficult. I cried a lot and we yelled a lot. But, we got through it, and now-although we have healthy time apart with our own friends or just because-we couldn't imagine how sad it would be without each other.

Just remember to give each other space, always do those nice little things for each other and never go to bed mad....

Re: Moving In With FI

FH & I just moved in last week and I couldn't be happier! Marissa- I'm an only child who LOVES her space and independence. You'll still have that, just in a different way.

I guess I got all of our fights out of the way b/f we moved in. Everything that I had ? about him, or doubted- like cleaning issues, paying bills, he's put to rest... He's lived at home and NEVER had to do any of this, I was sooooo ready to have to 'lecture' him in a nice way. I'm so thrilled that I don't have to do any of that. He's very excited too!

he's an only child as well, and likes his space too. I guess it's a good thing that we both understand eachother in that sense
Don't worry sweetie- it's all good! Everyone has their own nerves and a hard time of letting go of the past, even though you're so excited for the future.

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Wow, we are moving in together too and we also have been fighting alot. I've been very stressed out. He lives with his folks and I've been on my own for almost 4 years now, so I know it will be an adjustment. I am really looking forward to living with him though. I'm not so nervous about losing my independence, I'm just nervous about adjusting to living in a new state and city.

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I've never lived with exes before but I've always lived with my parents before moving in with my Fi 5 months before our big day. It was a huge adjustment on both our parts of sharing stuff and sharing titles of ownership 'our couch' 'our TV' 'our bed' whereas it's no longer 'my TV' 'my bed' or 'his bed' etc... It was very hard at first which puts a strain on our relationship with the arugments; however I just needed time to adjust and get used to. Now a whole year later we've gotten used to it as he is the ONE forever. Occasionally I like being alone with personal time while others we enjoy each other's company.

Re: Moving In With FI

Re: Moving In With FI

Okay, are you writing this about me?

LOL, I went through the same thing!!! FH and I moved in together December 2001. We planned on buying a house and getting married and it made sense to have one place instead of two (especially since we were always together, clothes in both places, etc.) We both had 1 bedroom apartments at the time and since his was newer (had a washer/dryer, diswasher, balcony, etc.) we decided to keep his apartment. I totally felt like I was losing my space/independence. I think it was because I was losing MY place and moving into HIS place. I don't know why I felt that way, since we spent every day/night together before moving in, and the best part of my day is going home to see him. I totally snapped at him a bunch of times, burst into tears over stupid stuff and got a little moody with him too. It took a couple of months but I got over it. The apartment became OUR place and in September we moved into our new house.

Okay, so what I'm saying is hang in there and what you're feeling now will go away and all you'll remember is being really happy to come home to the man you love everynight. Good luck!