My Bear Cub is 5 mos. today!! It's bittersweet...

Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday she was still in my belly, let alone just born!!!! Every day is a joy and she makes me smile so much, especially these days when there's not much to smile about with my dad.

I haven't been on much lately because of what's going on with my dad. It's a bittersweet time for me -- my baby is growing and my father is dying. I can't believe I just wrote that, but unfortunately, it's really happening. I won't come right out and tell my mother or sister that, but we all know it's true. He is at the end stages of heart disease and his heart is so weak from all the heart attacks, etc, that there's nothing left for them to do for him anymore -- or they won't try because it's so weak. And his kidneys are failing because of it.

He's been in the hospital since Dec. 10, was in rehab for all of 3 weeks, and right back to the hospital again. Yesterday they moved him to CCU and he's going to be there awhile. He hasn't seen Gianna since her christening and she's grown so much and does so much now. It kills me that my father isn't seeing his figlia mia's figlia mia grow! He's missing his Gigi.

I'm grateful that he was there to walk me down the aisle and to see Gianna, but I'm selfish and want him to be around to see her grow up.

On a happy note -- I can't wait to see how much the little gavone weighs and how long she is!! She's starting to bust out of some of these clothes!!!

She is truly the joy of my life, especially these days. Coming home from the hospital and seeing that happy smiling face (even though she's sticking her tongue out at me ) is the best thing I could ask for!!!! I just wish my father could share it with me!

Sorry about the happy title and then the depressing post.