So FH and decided not to have kids at the wedding...but we both have older nieces and nephews who will be invited because they are over 18... Well, my sister's husband calls me up today to ask if I have a minute...he proceeds to tell me that he's heard that their son (who is a very young 15/Freshman in HS) is not going to be invited and that he is going to be DEVASTATED about that.
I tried to remain calm and explained that it's an adult only reception and the older kids are more at the point where they can have drinks etc. and that his son is still young and I didn't think it was really appropriate. I also said we'd have a conflict because FH's family aren't bringing any of the younger kids in HS or younger on their side and the younger nieces/nephews aren't coming on our side either.
He kept repeating about how much his son looks up to me and how this is going to crush him. Thanks for the guilt trip. Am I wrong to be furious over this?
JamDancer
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
Why is he talking to you and not his own brother? Was this his decision too? Tell you FH to take it up with him.
you do what you want for your wedding but honestly...when it comes to inviting KIDs...to me kids means elementary school. PLus...if it was my brother or sister...my nece.nephew..they would def be invited. We are having a no kids other than immediate family and bridal party' kind of wedding
lauraandrob2009
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
No this is my sister's husband...they've been married forever so I've known him for 20 years. Not FH's side of the family.
Kristina2009
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
I will be honest. I think a 15 yr old nephew is a tough call. I am not having kids but am inviting all our neices and nephews. I think at 15 you expect to be a part of the wedding of an aunt getting married and I can understand feelings being hurt there. It is not a 3 year old who will not even remember.
It is your wedding though and you know what you can afford. I personally would make an exception for your children, if any, and neices and nephews.
lauraandrob2009
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
I''m from a huge family and have 18 nieces and nephews ranging in ages from college grads to 7 year olds...so we decided no kids but then agreed to invite who we felt were the grown kids (meaning, those in college or graduated from college).
Kristina2009
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
Posted by lauraandrob2009
I''m from a huge family and have 18 nieces and nephews ranging in ages from college grads to 7 year olds...so we decided no kids but then agreed to invite who we felt were the grown kids (meaning, those in college or graduated from college).
18 is a big number. My mom came from a huge family so I know how that can get. How about 12 and up? Or 13 and up? I know it is a hard call and you should go with your gut. My advice is only based on what I would do. And, one of my best childhood memories is attending my uncle's wedding when I was 14 - so I am biased!
MrsKtoBe
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
I dont know... this is hard. I would say that anyone in highschool should have been invited if they are immediate family.
But at the same time, I would just have your FH explain that with a family this big, the line had to be drawn somewhere and hurting him wasnt intentional.
JamDancer
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
Can you talk to your sister?
Celeste617
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
Posted by MrsKtoBe
I dont know... this is hard. I would say that anyone in highschool should have been invited if they are immediate family.
But at the same time, I would just have your FH explain that with a family this big, the line had to be drawn somewhere and hurting him wasnt intentional.
I agree - I don't consider those in college or graduated from college as kids anymore. I'd figure the teens to be adult enough to behave themselves. But this is your wedding and do what you are most confortable with.
lauraandrob2009
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Re: My BIL is an A&@$%^&!
That's what bothers me - I explained this to my sister a few weeks ago. I think it's out of line for her husband to then call me to tell me his view. This kid is a sweetheart but quite frankly, he's a very young 15 - I know my godson who is 12 would not understand if the 15 year old were invited and not him etc...it just gets really touchy. Since it's a Friday nite wedding, I felt the grown kids who aren't really kids anymore could come. No HS kids or younger. It just bothers me so much that I made my wishes known and then I have to hear this guilt trip.
