My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

So like all of us, I have a million things going on right now...

I just got engaged in December and FH and I wanted to get married in the summer, but noit wait a year and 7 months, so we decided to have a short engagement...whole lotta stress...

I have 3 sisters and 1 SIL. I asked them to be in my BP. I asked oldest sister to be MOH. I told them they could all just pick out a really nice dress and shoes in black. No worries...

So today I get a TEXT MESSAGE from my youngest sister stating that she is having $$ problems and wants to know if she can just be a guest...

I called my MOH who then informed me that she and little sister had a big fight about the shower and little sister felt left out of the planning and that they didn't want to stress me out anymore.

I was at work so I texted little sis back and asked 'can't you just buy a black dress and shoes and stand at the altar to represent?'

She wrote back 'OK'

A lot of you know about my other stress issues with FMIL in the hospital and this is just too much for me to deal with right now...

Any advice??

Thanks,
Erin

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

Sounds like it wasn't a $ thing at all.

I think you handled it well and your little sis will still be a BM. If $ is an issue for the shower and whatever, do you think your other sisters would be ok with your lil sis doing more of the planning and participating rather than helping monetarily?

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

I think that was very sweet n sincere of you to do. I had a similar issue with my sister.

I don't think you should get in the middle though, since it is your shower they are planning. By sending her that simple text really lets her know that you want her to be apart of your day....HTH

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

I think that you handeled it well too and if it is really bothering you , just talk to her , she is your younger sister , maybe you guys can work someting out, let her know that she is important to you , but that you do not wantto get in the middle of your other sisters

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

I'm sorry. I agree; you did handle it well. Let her know that to you it's not about the $, parties, or how much she contributes. You just want her there by your side. And if she wants to be more or less involved in planning things, maybe you can talk to your other sisters.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

i'm sooo sorry. it sounds like lilttle sister was taking her anger out on u when she should have taken it out big sister. i would talk to little sister and let her know how much her 'text' upset you. there might be more to the story, that big sis and little sis aren't tellilng you.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

Maybe after having fought with your other sister she felt a little unsure of herself. She probably sent the text message to try and get reassurance that it is important to you that she is there for you that day. Hopefully she realizes that you want her there and she won't doubt it again, but she may need a little more reassurance.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

sometimes planning a shower can become tense, maybe your sister asked to be a guest b/c that was how she was feeling w/ the shower planning (like a guest) and when she asked to be out of the BP it was probably in the heat of the moment. Sorry the drama got out of hand!! I hope your sisters can all work together, since it seems that was the underlying issue.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

Im so sorry to hear that your sister couldnt be in your party..

I am going through MAJOR problems with my BM and MOH.. Im so stressed that my FH and I had a big fight the other day about all of them..

Chin up, smile on your face and dont let ANYONE take away your happiness of your big day!!

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

I am sorry. I know how you fell, I have two daughters. My oldest daughter and I never really seem eye to eye, but I wanted her, husband and my 2 grand children to be in the wedding. She said OK. I ask my youngest daughter to be my MOH, she said yes. I ask my niece and her husband and kids to be in the wedding party, her daughter would be my flower girl, they said yes. I ask my FH sister and her two children to be in the wedding party they said yes. I ask my FH best man's wife to be in the wedding, she said yes. First my oldest daughter backed out, I think she was mad I didn't ask her to be my MOH. Then my niece drop a boom shell they had booked a cruise and she didn't realize that she would be on a cruise the day of my wedding, SO they are not coming. And yes I now don't have a flower girl. Then my FH best man's wife backed out. She said there is SO much going on right now in her life she just felt she couldn't be there for me. I am hurt, I am cried out. I know fell, the hell with them, they are going to miss a great wedding. I know in my heart that I can never be close to any of them again. They should have said no from the go. I am moving on, and you have also have to, I know it's hard, but we can't let these self centered people ruin our day totally.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!

i'm an only child so i might not be any good at this but i think you should call your younger sis and talk to her - find out what happened and tell her that (assuming this is true) your day wouldn't be as special without her by your side and that family is a lot more important and long-lasting than one day of wedding. then tell both oldest sis and younger sis that they shouldn't make things worse between them by not telling you because it may actually be more stressful that way!

just my 2 cents.

Re: My BM dropped out...and she's my SISTER!!!