I have well enough time to ask my friends/family to be in my bridal party, but I have something bothering me.
I was talking about the wedding with 2 of my friends who I was going to ask to me in my BP. When one of them said that they are so releived to be going to a wedding that they won't be involved in and can just relax & have a good time...and then the other agreed to that, I know my friend was just in her brother's wedding party and I'll make a long story short by saying she found it not enjoyable.
I'm not sure if she said what she did to perhaps avoid me asking them? So I don't want to ask because I'm afraid of putting them on the spot into saying yes when they may not want to do it. Even if I told them 'you don't have to be a part of it but....' they'd probably do it anyway even if they didn't want to. I don't want that.
I honestly don't have any other friends I could ask. Their the two I've known the longest (almost 10 years) and I really don't have any other friends that didn't come & go over the past few years.
Family is out of the question in this case other that FH's sister, she already said yes. So far she's the only BM & my sister is MOH (not that I wanted her to be). If that's the extent of my BP I guess I'll have to just suck it up & deal.... but I'd like to have at least 1 or 2 other girl... preferrably people I want & would have a good time with.
I feel funny about asking knowing this is how they feel.. but perhaps I'll regret not asking.
Should I still ask?
KiTTeN0819
Posted:
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Re: My BP Problem
After all the crap ive had to deal with, with my BP i would just tell you to forget them. Not worth it... But if you really want them in it then just ask. Since you have time maybe wait a while before asking.
Dani777
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Re: My BP Problem
I would wait it out a litle while...since you do have such a long ways to go, it's better to hold off on asking, b/c you never know what's going to happen in the next year. You could even meet someone else. My MOH is my best friend, but we've only known eachother a little over 2 years. I knew her a year when I asked her to join my BP and be the MOH. We just became that close that fast. If you wait it out, then you can see if you even still want them in the party. JMO... Good luck to you.
cynandkeith
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Re: My BP Problem
but if you've know them that long wouldnt you want them to be a part of your day- and vice versa- wouldnt they want to share in that with you????
I think wait a little bit and think about it- but i think u might regret not asking them- they're your close friends and i'm sure would love to be in your BP-
yes it can be costly but i wouldnt have missed being in any of my firends of families BP's- maybe they said that with out thinking..... Good luck
JenBill61210
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Re: My BP Problem
IMO i would want my BMs to WANT to be there to support me on my special day... if these girls don't want to be bothered then i would hold off on asking them, at least for now...
Also, if you do end up having a small BP, i actually think it is pretty nice, and it saves you a lot of hassle or drama that may arise later on! GL!
Im a Pepper
Posted:
Member since
Re: My BP Problem
Aww that IS a tough one! If you know they're pretty bridal-party'd out, I probably wouldn't ask them at this point. But why don't you give it some time? As time goes on they might start getting involved in wedding planning, start asking questions, and maybe you'll get the feeling that they'd want to participate. Good luck!
MnH2009
Posted:
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Re: My BP Problem
I also agree with what others have said. I'd wait and see what happens.
Also, sometimes people reject others to protect themselves before someone rejects them. So maybe they don't think you are going to ask them so they said that. (Maybe that's the social worker in me )
Or maybe they are being candid about the way they feel. However, you have some time so I'd wait. Also, I would talk to them. I mean I suppose you guys are close enough to have that conversation.
HTH
Saram
Posted:
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Re: My BP Problem
thats odd that they just assumed they werent in your bp being as u have been friends with them for so long..i would just stick wih people that actually want to share your day with u...good luck
SFAR89
Posted:
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Re: My BP Problem
Yeah, what the other girls are saying. Wait it out, b/c you don't know how things may go. No one says you have to have people in your BP. My guess is if you are feeling like you need some people, then just ask them and if they say yes even though you know they don't want to, it's not like they are going to make you miserable for asking them right??
Gracie821
Posted:
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Re: My BP Problem
I would wait a while!! If I have learned anything during this process, and the best advice I have to give is to wait before asking anyone! I was so excited when I got engaged that I asked people, and now there are some problems...I don't even want to get into it, and I wish that I just had a best man and a moh! So in short, I say wait as long as you can!
Deeglasser
Posted:
Member since
Re: My BP Problem
their reaction you mentioned can definitely be a pre-cursor to how the planning process may be having them in the wedding. i also can sympathize with how you must be feeling- that if you ask them they will say yes, then potentially be unhappy behind closed doors. maybe you should reconsider your reasons for having a bridal party and whether or not these people are the right ones to include. if you decide they are, i would have a conversation with them, and let them know that you were possibly hurt by your conversation, and explain how you want to include them in your wedding but their reaction made you think otherwise. good luck! whatever you decide will be a good one!!!
mrsjpc3
Posted:
Member since
Re: My BP Problem
I would waaaaaaait. you still have so much time. I can honestly say, I wish I would have waited to ask my BM's until at least 6-8 mos before. I wish now I would have asked my cousin, and maybe another friend... I prob would have cut one out now too....
you have plenty of time to ask them,, see how things go over the next several months... dont worry, its not something you need to do this week.
M_J
Posted:
Member since
Re: My BP Problem
IMPORTANT - I notived your date is in 2010 - so many things can happen. I think BOTH you and FH should WAIT b4 asking anyone. You can certainly ask even with 6 months left.... that is what I did. I think it worked out great - close enough were I have not been 'bugging' them about allll wedding stuff yet I felt strong enough that our relationships would continue to be the same before and after the wedding. HTH.
