MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Jenn04 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:13 AM

MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Before we got engaged...FH booked a flight to go see his father in AZ for father's day. Some background information...his father has many illnesses, one being cancer...but is not considered terminal at this point...still not good though.

Ok so he is leave Wed and coming back Monday....the wedding is the following Sat. I am so angry about this and he knows it. HE doesnt think it is a big deal...thinks everything will be done. It is $100 change fee to go a different weekend and he doesnt want to go a different weekend. He goes home every year for fathers day! Anyway, I just really want him here for last minute things and he doesnt get it. I dont think I can fight this. Also he may be doing his bachelor party that weekend because he isnt going home any other time before than. (Maybe Easter...but cant do a bachelor party easter weekend).

roan126 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:22 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Won't his dad be coming in for the wedding? Can't he just see him then?

Jenn04 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:29 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Thats what I said!

But do you think it is a big deal if he is not around right before the wedding. Some people say it is good not to see FH before the wedding. And most of my friends said they had everything done already. Anyway....I just think I will be freaking out and want him with me!

cammolax23 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:31 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

honestly.. you cant really get mad at him, it was booked before you got engaged, and its to see his sick father... not just a trip with friends... and you still have almost a week to take care of everything else, and one week out everything should be pretty much done to the point that you can do with your BMs

TGs Lady 22908 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:33 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

I don't think it's a big deal at all. It's his father and not to sound harsh but you have the rest of your life to spend with FH and from the sound of it, your FH may not have many Father's Day's left with his dad.

I say let him go and just relax, everything will be fine.

roan126 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:41 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Posted by Jenn04

Thats what I said!

But do you think it is a big deal if he is not around right before the wedding. Some people say it is good not to see FH before the wedding. And most of my friends said they had everything done already. Anyway....I just think I will be freaking out and want him with me!

I can understand you're being upset...I know I would be. But you might just have to let this one go...as we know, sometimes guys don't get the things that seem so obvious to us! As long as he's there on the wedding day

o17range Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:43 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

I tend to agree with the last 2 pps. I was away for the last 2 weekends prior to my wedding. Everything was pretty much done, or close enough to being done that I wasn't stressed. It sounds like this might be a great opportunity for you to spend some time with some of your favorite females--maybe a spa day/old fashioned slumber party? That should help you stay calm and keep your mind off things. At your wedding your FH won't have much time to spend with his dad--and if he's ill, he may not have too many other Fathers Days to spend with is dad. It may not be the response you are looking for, but it's my honest opinion.

cookiemonster Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:49 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

You will have almost a full week to get stuff done once he gets home. I planned my entire wedding from OOT and didn't even get to NY until 4 days before the wedding and we still had plenty of time to take care of final details without being stressed. Your FH's dad is obviously important to him, and the trip was booked before you were even engaged. JMO but I don't think this is something you can possibly be mad about.

JulyBride728 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 11:53 AM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

If I were in your shoes, I would probably be dissapointed, but not mad. It's not really something that you have the right to be mad about. He has very little time with his dad left, and the rest of his life with you. I'm sure once he gets back from visiting his dad, his mind would be a little more clear, and more than willing to give all of time and attention to you for your up coming wedding, this way both dad and future bride are satisfied :)

alissa5517 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 12:54 PM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

Posted by TGs Lady 22908

I don't think it's a big deal at all. It's his father and not to sound harsh but you have the rest of your life to spend with FH and from the sound of it, your FH may not have many Father's Day's left with his dad.

I say let him go and just relax, everything will be fine.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

How would you feel if god forbid this is his last fathers day. Having lost my FMIL...Trust me, just let him go.

JozyLee123 Posted: Jan 29, 2008 01:15 PM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

I don't think it is a big deal.. I'm sure everything will be done by then.. I think you should let him go and don't make him feel bad about it... It will just make him more mad at the wedding and you want a happy groom!
Good luck!

PreshusSmurf Posted: Jan 29, 2008 01:31 PM

Re: MY FH is going to be out of town 5 days before the wedding...ughhh

we had a lot of last minute stuff to do for our wedding, but it was because i was dealing with some health issues that slowed me down for a month prior to the wedding.

i don't remember the weekend before being *that* hectic ... BUT my DH took off the whole week before the wedding, and i don't think we would have gotten everything done if it wasn't for his help at that point.

so, since its a trip to see his sick father, and could be his last fathers day, let him go ... but have a calm discussion with him and point out that you will really need his help as soon as he gets back from his trip.