I already picked my BMs a long time ago, and a couple of months back my parents suggested that I include my 19 year old cousin. I explained that everyone in the bridal party will be in there late 20s to early 40s and she would be out of place. Plus on top of that I'm not close to her whatsoever, I see her once a year and that's about it. Add to the fact that we have a 10 year age difference. Last weekend I was home for my grandma's 80th, and basically told my aunt that I considered having her daughter in my BP, but decided that she wouldn't enjoy hersef being that everyone else is going to be twice her age (except my sister who's 20, but she's my sister). My dad calls me today and tells that his brother was devasted that she isn't in the bridal party, and she's upset. Basically saying 'you got to have here in there, she's your only cousin.' WHAT????? I wouldn't recognize her on the street if I saw her, but I have to include her in the most special day of my life. I thought about maybe having her do a reading, but FH is pissed cause his sister is doing one, and thinks its a honor to do one and my cousin shouldn't be at the same level.
I'm trying to keep eveyone happy, but I don't how to do that.
akanini
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Re: My first major family vent!!
I'm sooooo sorry to hear you're having trouble with this. Personally it probably wouldn't look righ to have her in unless she's a junior bridesmaid or something. Which wouldn't make much sense since your sister and her and close in age. It's YOUR wedding and she'll just have to get over it. You call the shots. I wouldn't put her in either.
mrswask
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Re: My first major family vent!!
I understand why you don't want her in and I agree with you - she really doesn't have a place there. Honestly, what I don't understand though is why did you bring this up to your aunt - because it sounds like you opened up the can of worms yourself! Good luck with this!
MCDO15
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Re: My first major family vent!!
why do people think it's there wedding? sigh sorry you have to go threw this
september2004
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Re: My first major family vent!!
my view:
eh, unless she is a monster, family is family and should be included...but i can understand why you would feel like it should be your choice, not theirs...
IreneinChicago
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Re: My first major family vent!!
I brought it up with my aunt because my parents forwarned me that they were probably expecting me to ask her to be in the BP so rather than have my parents talk to her, I figured it was my responsibility. I think they just assumed that I would ask her.
kathleenmarie
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Re: My first major family vent!!
You have to do whats right for you.....EVERYONE has someting to say about everything. Everyone has an opinion. You just cant plese them all.
butterfly20
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Re: My first major family vent!!
you cant please everyone.. if your not close with her, then you shouldnt have her in it.. if you want to give her a small role, have her hand out the programs before the reception, or be one of the people to walk the gifts up the isle..
Smolokoff
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Re: My first major family vent!!
Posted by IreneinChicago
I wouldn't recognize her on the street if I saw her, but I have to include her in the most special day of my life. I thought about maybe having her do a reading, but FH is pissed cause his sister is doing one, and thinks its a honor to do one and my cousin shouldn't be at the same level.
I'm trying to keep eveyone happy, but I don't how to do that.
What if you have his sister as another BM and have this cousin do a reading? Could that be a solution? Include her, just not in BP?
IreneinChicago
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Re: My first major family vent!!
Update: It pretty much got resolved today. Turns out she didn't even have any issues about being a bridesmaid. My aunt made a big deal out of it, then my uncle called my dad, who called me saying they were all upset. I decided to have my uncle do a reading and maybe have her help with programs or something. When I called to talk to her about it she had no idea what I was talking about, so I felt like an idiot bringing it up. Family drama - I guess it happens to everyone.
