Yesterday FH and I went out to breakfast with his parents. For the first time they asked us how much the wedding is going to cost. When I told them the amount thier jaws nearly fell to the floor. Then FFIL started going off about wouldn't you rather have that money to buy a house? He said that paying all of that money for a wedding was no way to start out a marriage...and on and on. I was so upset that I nearly started crying at the table. I really don't think that we've been spending money on unneeded things. We're trying to do a lot of stuff DIY too!!
They're from PA so they really don't have the slightest clue how much things cost on LI. Grrr...if they're so concerned about the money that we're paying then maybe they should contribute too!!!
enjft
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I know this situation all too well. Dont worry about it. As long as you and FH is happy that is all that matters.
Nina
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Chin up sweetie...It'll be okay!! It's your day..and they don't understand no matter how hard you try to explain!
JPand TT
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Posted by enjft
I know this situation all too well. Dont worry about it. As long as you and FH is happy that is all that matters.
I agree.
It's your wedding and your paying for it. You have the right todo whatever you want. They already had their wedding. You should enjoy every minute of the planning. You deserve it.
laural2979
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Thanks everyone! I know that I shouldn't have gotten so upset, but it really just pissed me off. At least I know that FH is on the same page as I am.
MJDoc12
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Don't let it get the best of you! People are always having something to say about the cost of a wedding. Let them say whatever they want---be proud that you are paying for it youself. All the negativity in the world will not make the feeling when you write that last check or give that final tip--and know that you accomplished this goal on your own.
A good way to counter such opinions--is to say 'Well if we can pull off this wedding--moneywise--who says we can't save this amount of money again in the future for a house or anything else? I would think that seeing us be able to afford this wedding, would show that we are responsible and when we put our minds to it, we are capable of anything!'
soon2bmrsdunn
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Posted by JPand TT
Posted by enjft
I know this situation all too well. Dont worry about it. As long as you and FH is happy that is all that matters.
I agree.
It's your wedding and your paying for it. You have the right todo whatever you want. They already had their wedding. You should enjoy every minute of the planning. You deserve it.
Me too!!!
MrsFelix
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We get that alot but it's because it's our second marriage. But neither one of us had a big wedding the first time around and we really wanted to do something to truly 'celebrate' our day. Don't let ANYONE make you feel anything other than PRIDE for what you and your FH are accomplishing together. Everyone is going to have an opinion, so take it with a grain of salt and move on. In the end do what makes you and FH HAPPY!!! Hang in there!!!
SeptBride70
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Posted by laural2979 They're from PA so they really don't have the slightest clue how much things cost on LI. Grrr...if they're so concerned about the money that we're paying then maybe they should contribute too!!!
you said it all right there in your first sentence!! they are not from long island so that is why they are so shocked!! and they should understand that anything you and your FH could do to save money-- you ARE doing but some things just cost a lot no matter what you do! it's like what do they want you to do about it?! i mean, it's one time in your life and if you want a nice wedding you should be able to have it!! what do you work so hard for if you can't spend your money on what you really want? besides, you'll get money from gifts back so hopefully you'll maybe break even or moreso-- but you are not in the hole no matter what if you consider the memories that you'll have for a lifetime and not to mention all the pictures and stories to tell your children! you and FH need to let them know that it is your wedding and your money and you'll spend it the way you want to and i'm sure eventually you'll be able to get a house afterwards-- it just takes time and perserverance! i'm sorry they rained on your parade!! try as hard as you can not to let how inconsiderate they are of what you and your FH want and dream about affect how you feel and your determination to have what truly makes you happy!!
SeptBride70
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Posted by MJDoc12
A good way to counter such opinions--is to say 'Well if we can pull off this wedding--moneywise--who says we can't save this amount of money again in the future for a house or anything else? I would think that seeing us be able to afford this wedding, would show that we are responsible and when we put our minds to it, we are capable of anything!'
EXACTLY-- GREAT way to deal with those terrible comments!!!
camposal
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I feel ya. I had the same exact thing happen to me last week except it was my own dad. My parents and FH's parents both agreed to give us a certain amount of money and we were going to put in the rest. When I told my dad what the total budget would likely be, he flipped. He even threatened to call my fiance to inform how careless I was being with everyone's money and to warn him about leaving me in charge of money issues in the future. I almost died. At first I was really upset, but after talking to close friends and fiance I decided to move foward with the 'elaborate wedding' (dad's words) and have the wedding of my dreams no matter what. I dont want to look back and regret not doing things just as I wanted just to save a few bucks. And I explained to my dad that I'm a smart girl and that he is going to have to trust my decision on how much money to put into the wedding. If I go in over my head that is something that FH and I will deal with and nobody else. So stay strong and and stand your ground.
Missladybug15
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Posted by enjft
I know this situation all too well. Dont worry about it. As long as you and FH is happy that is all that matters.
agreed!!!!!
bride2b24
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eeeks i know the feeling of nosey inlaws that always have to give their two sense even when its unwanted! dont worry girl.....in the end you wont regret a thing!
brittny817
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Posted by MJDoc12
Don't let it get the best of you! People are always having something to say about the cost of a wedding. Let them say whatever they want---be proud that you are paying for it youself. All the negativity in the world will not make the feeling when you write that last check or give that final tip--and know that you accomplished this goal on your own.
A good way to counter such opinions--is to say 'Well if we can pull off this wedding--moneywise--who says we can't save this amount of money again in the future for a house or anything else? I would think that seeing us be able to afford this wedding, would show that we are responsible and when we put our minds to it, we are capable of anything!'[/QUOTE
WELL SAID!!!! Don't get upset Laura, we're all dealing with opposition some way or another. Don't let it bother you! We're here for ya!
