My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

dgrn897 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 09:58 PM

My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Ok, so my FH niece is the flower girl or should I say flower girl drop out!! She is 4 yrs old and is adorable (not so much now)
I bought her dress 2 weeks ago. I brought it to her sunday at dinner with my FH whole family there. At first she refused to try it on. Then her mom said let me take her in the bedroom, maybe shes being shy. Ok, no problem.
Well you would think the was beating her. The screams were unbelievable. I went in there, she ripped all the rose buds off the dress (thank god they snap on), , she was crying so bad, she was sweating, her hair was soaking wet, and she was about to throw up. This act went on for seriously 45min. I said to my sister in law, 'take it off her, forget it, she is going to rip it!'
It took 2 of us to get it off she was a wild woman.
Besides that FH brother said that she is never going to walk down the aisle anyway so he wont be offended if we kick her out. I said, :Dont worry, I dont want to get the kid upset and torture her, she doesnt have to wear it, I'll return it'
Just when I think im off the hook, her mom says ' Let me bring it home and try to reason with her'
Reason with a 4 yr old??
So I dont want her in it anymore, how do I get out of this? What makes them think she will not freak out again> She was scratching her legs that they almost bled... she was screaming 'Im itchy' Meanwhile, its satin. What do I do if her mom says she wants to still try and see what happens?

grkbarbie Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:04 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

effffffffff that! do not take any chances. she def has something wrong with her. sorry u had to go thru that, but at least you found out ahead of time. find some1 else

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:11 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

She's not a psychotic 4 year old.
She did not ger her way and had a meltdown -- it happens. I've seen worse at my school! Some kids can't handle being told no or not getting their way. Most often they are plain old fashioned SPOILED.

I think you should look for a new FG
sorry!

Annoulak Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:13 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

if her mom wants to try again, tell her that you'll give her 1 more time to try on the dress. if the girl flips out again, that's it. it sounds like the mom wants this more than the girl or dad does

Annoulak Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:15 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

also, add on a 2nd (older) FG in case there's a meltdown with the 4-year old, you at least have someone else to walk down

Espo22 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:15 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

She's not a psychotic 4 year old.
She did not ger her way and had a meltdown -- it happens. I've seen worse at my school! Some kids can't handle being told no or not getting their way. Most often they are plain old fashioned SPOILED.

I think you should look for a new FG
sorry!

i agree, some kids behave that way and some things just scare them even if it doesnt make sense to us. Seems like its just something she doesn't want to do though and if fh's brother said he would understand then it should be fine. Seems like the mother though is determined to make her daughter do it. Honestly, i kinda blame the mother, she saw how her daughter reacted she should've stopped then and there, she might've been shy or embarassed and didnt want to try on a dress for everybody, the mother should've waited until everybody left to put the dress on her. To sit there for 45 mins trying to reason with her daughter and force her to put the dress on is a bit ridiculous. Maybe she was also cranky bc she was tired or something. When it comes down to it, the little girl is just 4 and the mother well dont know how old she is but she is an adult and should've known better than to do that. I actually feel sorry for the little girl, for her to go that far there are some things that traumatize her i guess and her mom should've handled it differently

dgrn897 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:17 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

I have my niece in it anyway, not the FG but she is 7 and is a Jr BM. Im pissed because I aleady bought her so many gifts, And to top it off, the dress in only exchangeable, no refunds!!!
Im sorry but I dont think kids crying and having a temper tantrum at your wedding is cute at all !!! I find it very disturbing.
ps: Her brother is 6yrs old, and they said he probably wont wear the tux or walk down the aisle either. I can't......, then I think the parents should have respect and take them both out!
My nephew is 3 and is adorable.. practices everyday hoding the pillow. I swear, its pure spoiled !!!

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:18 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Posted by Annoulak

also, add on a 2nd (older) FG in case there's a meltdown with the 4-year old, you at least have someone else to walk down

this is a great idea -- I hope you can find someone!
Good Luck

** I just read your post. That solves it -- they're out. Tell the parents that you are not about to force children to do something they don't want to do and that's that.

grkbarbie Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:19 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

i think that the mother is embarassed and feels bad you bought the dress, thats why she told you she will try to reason with her lol (probabl bribe)

dgrn897 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:21 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Obviously I dont want to come out and say I dont want her in it, so I am kind of taking another approach. I was going to call her friday and if she says it didnt go well, ill just say that as lng as they are at the wedding thats all that matters.Its not fair to torture kids. Both kids are very introverted and shy all the time so imagine lights, cameras, music in their face?
i feel bad for FH. My sisters kids are in it and his brothers arent.

Espo22 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:24 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Posted by dgrn897

Obviously I dont want to come out and say I dont want her in it, so I am kind of taking another approach. I was going to call her friday and if she says it didnt go well, ill just say that as lng as they are at the wedding thats all that matters.Its not fair to torture kids. Both kids are very introverted and shy all the time so imagine lights, cameras, music in their face?
i feel bad for FH. My sisters kids are in it and his brothers arent.

OH that explains alot then, probably also why she didnt want to try on a dress for others. I really think the mother just wants her daughter to be a flower girl but she is going to have to get over it, she cant do that to her daughter just for her own gratification. Maybe have your FH tell them that if she cant do it that day the both of you completely understand and to ask to please not force her. Im sure the day of the girl would be the same way so tell them if they see she acts like this to not make her walk down the aisle

dgrn897 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 10:28 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Thats my plan, hope it works.
I dont want to sound mean, but honestly we wait our whole lives to walk down the aisle, just one time and I want it to be beautiful and without screaming kids. I feel terrible when I see it happen to brides. And when kids tak and cry during the ceremony and the parents dont take them out... how rude!!

NYCGirl2008 Posted: Apr 09, 2008 11:37 PM

Re: My flower girl is the exorcist!!! This is a long one...

Kids go through phases and you simply cannot force them to do anything. Hence why I am not having flowergirls. If she wants out, let her be out. Just explain it to her Mom. Give the little girl a little something anyway.