I am going under my alias since some people I know check this board. Anyhow, I love her to death. But she lives this secret life that no one but FH and I know about. She has been dating a guy for over 5+ yrs not sure how long anymore... Quite honestly I could care less. NOT one other person in my family knows this is going on. She has mentioned to me on a few occasions that she wants to bring him to the wedding. UH NO!!! Absolutely NOT!!! I tell her you need to bring this fool around before my wedding. Its absurd that at your age you still act like you are 15 yrs old sneaking around with a boyfriend. Grow up already!! Her ignorant response is: I don't want people in my private business. BUT you want to bring him to MY wedding so my entire side will talk about her and her guest? ***??? She wants to use MY wedding as her way of getting him to know my family. IS SHE F'ING KIDDING ME????!?!?!!!
Is she out of her mind or what?? Then she proceeds to tell me, if he can't come then your FH won't be invited to anything that I do when I get married. RETARD you are not getting married anytime soon. You are so babied by our parents its unreal. And if she does get married I can see her running to Vegas and coming back to tell my parents what she did. This is how ridiculous she is.
She is really getting on my nerve with this one. She is 25 yrs old for crying out loud. The worst part is I don't LIKE HIM!!! I don't think he is good enough for her. One time he called her cell phone and I was holding it, so I answered the call and he proceeds to curse me out!! And I mean CURSE me out!! He thought I was her. Me and my sister have very similar voices on the phone. Alot of people get us confused. So I can see how he would not realize the HELLO sounded different. I understand people argue and all but he was CURSING up a storm!! And I didn't take it. I cut him off and CURSED him out myself and hung up on his stupid a$$!!! So she has told me he is scared of me. Well I don't take crap from no one and I don't think she should either. So for this reason I don't like the man. I don't disrespect my sister in that way, neither do my parents. I sure as hell won't let a measly man do it to her. RRRRR
shelzyp
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I think she should be able to bring a date if she wants, are you allowing other guests to bring a date? I understand if you don't like him, but it isn't really fair for her to not be able to bring a guest that she wants.
627399
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I don't mind her bringing a guest. Its the principle that she WANTS to bring him and she will be getting more attention than FH and I on our day from my side of the guests. That part isn't fair. I could understand if everyone knew the guy, I like him or not, whatever. NO ONE in my family knows him. And she shouldn't use MY wedding to bring him out to get to no people in our family. We are having plenty of other family functions in the next coming months. Why not bring him over for July 4th BBQ? Or my mom's birthday dinner? Or Thanksgiving, or X-Mas or New Year's?? That is the MAIN problem I have with her. Whether I like him or not doesn't really matter. I can't and refuse to be fake and she already knows how I feel about him. But she shouldn't use my wedding as a meet and greet for her boyfriend and my family. Tough. Its not happening. I already told her either you bring him around our family and introduce him to everyone before the wedding or he isn't invited at all. Those are her 2 choices.
shelzyp
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
THen I would tell her she needs to bring him around for something else then before the wedding.
butterfly20
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
with your sitation... he should meet the family before going to the wedding.. cause it will take attention away if she just shows up with this person, which maybe thats her goal? i dont think you have to worry about her threat... you not inviting her 'secret guy' is not the same as her not invitng your husband..
Rob-luvs-me
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I would ask her to bring him to something else first if she wants to bring him to the wedding and explain why you don't want him at the wedding for the first time.
Maybe she is bringing to the wedding to take attention away - or maybe she figures the family will be focusing on you and they can meld in - where if she brings him to something else first they will be the focus
627399
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
Who knows why she wants to do this. Maybe jealous he hasn't given her a ring. And I got one before her. I don't know. She is DEF. not the attention type of girl. At all of our family events she is always in her room. She has to be dragged out of her room to greet people. Then mysteriously disappears. So its not as if she will be swinging from the chandeliers at my wedding! She is very anti-social as I call her. This is why I kind of understand her behaviour with what's his name. All I know is that it ain't happening!! Introduce what's his name to our family on your own time. But she won't do it at my wedding that is for sure!
mlp924
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
IS there some reason she hasnt brought this guy around before? Is there a big age difference, are they of a different faith or race? Is he a porn star? What is the big deal?
butterfly20
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
porn star??... that would be bad at a wedding.. 'hey i know you, i rent your movies all the time, can you giveme some tips on....'
627399
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
PORN STAR!! LMAO!! No I don't think he is... I haven't seen many a nooty films to know so can't be sure. My family is Hispanic. What's his name is Caribbean. But big deal. FH is Caribbean/Hispanic. AND FH's family is Baptist we are Roman Catholic. So no that wouldn't be the reason either. WHO knows what the big deal is.
FH keeps telling me. You know if I was in his shoes, I would wonder why on earth I haven't met her family yet. At least her parents. I would start thinking twice if by 5 yrs+ in a relationship I have yet to meet them! So he is just as dumb as her for sticking around this long. I think..
OH and she sees him at night. You know that song: The freaks come out at night, the freaks come out at nigggght. I sing that to her at night when she is ready to leave. I swear she is like a vampire! I believe he is a yr older than her. Again, nothing major.
mlp924
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
Let her bring him! It might just be amusing and you won't even notice!
Boop2704
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I don't think any attention will be taken away from you at your wedding. I understand the fear you have but everyone knows whose day it is and they are there to celebrate that. I think she'll just introduce him to everyone and thats it. Everyone will be too busy partying and celebrating on the dance floor with you to focus too much on her. Good Luck!! I hope everything works out for you.
Olgaki
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I agree - maybe she thinks since all the focus will be on you on that wedding day, that she can kind of 'slip him in'? I don't think it's the wisest decision on her part, but maybe she is scared for some other reason? WHen you have asked her why she won't introduce him, what does she say?
627399
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
They will get attention b/c she has NEVER in all the years she has been alive ever introduced a boyfriend to my family. She has never brought a man to any of the family functions. I swear some of my family members think she is a lesbian. No offense to anyone out there that is but you get what I mean. So for her to suddenly spring a male into a family affair of course there will be people yapping away about it. So NOPE he isn't coming to the wedding unless he meets the family beforehand.
Olgaki her response to me telling her bring him around then he can come to the wedding is: I don't want people in my private business. But then she will be the talk of the family at my wedding. I want people to talk about my wedding. Not my wedding and guess who Jane brought to her sister's wedding!
Olgaki
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
Maybe then she is vying for their attention. It just doesn't make sense she is so secretive. Maybe there is even something else we don't know about?
jenny2penny
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
Since she waited this long to introcude him to your family, I think she should either do it before the wedding, or wait until after. She is your MOH, there for you that day. I might feel different, if she wasn't in the party. Did you ask her to introcude him at an earlier time???
goldilocks
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
Maybe this sounds a little mean-spirited, but you could bring him up in front of the family to get all the drama over with before your wedding. Like ask her if he's coming to the BBQ in front of your parents. I know it's not your secret to tell, but this is really stressing you out. It sounds like your sister has bigger problems than just being anti-social from what you're saying. I'm guessing you two aren't close? Rather than put your foot down about not wanting him sprung on the family at your wedding, maybe she needs someone to talk to about why she's letting herself be treated so badly. I'm not really one to talk since me and my sister aren't exaclty 'buddies', but it's a thought...
Boop2704
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
If I may get a little personal here.
When I was growing up, I never ever brought a boyfriend to any family functions. All my beautiful cousins always had tons of boyfriends and always had someone with them. I was very shy. I was also dedicated to school and getting a career and did not focus on boyfriends. I never went to family functions with anyone until FH came along and I was 23. My family probably thought I was a lesbian(no offense). But I was sort of a late bloomer I guess. Well, the first family function I went to with FH was my cousins wedding. Sure, everyones faces lit up, and they all wanted to meet him. But in no way did we take attention away from the bride and groom. I introduced him while I walked around to kiss everyone hello. And at there own moments when mingleing with guests they would come up to him and talk to him to get to know him. At the end of the night. Everyone had a great time at the wedding and they got to meet the special person in my life. It sounds to me like your sister may be a little shy. And bringing this guy to a big function for the first time may feel like a good way for her to bring him in. Everyone will be focusing on you and this way she can bring him in without all the attention being on her and boyfriend. Everyone is not going to go and crowd them and leave you and your new hubby alone on the dance floor. I really don't think you have to worry. It is your day and everyone knows it. Your not talking about a friend or cousin here, It is your SISTER. She really should be allowed to bring whomever she wants. I doubt you are putting a limit on any other person as to who they can bring. I am sure you will have other family or friends there that will be bringing someone new for the first time. These funtions are how people meet new people. This si all just My opinion. Sorry if you can't see it like I do. I hope everything works out for you.
cookiek1
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I think you are over reacting. Do you really think anything can take attention from you & FH on your wedding day??? NO WAY!!! From what you have said it sounds like if she brought anyone (just some random guy) it would still be a first, so why not let her bring someone she cares about. I would be happy for her.
jenny2penny
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Re: My Maid of Honor..... Grrrrr venting...
I was introduced to a lot of his family members as a FH cousins wedding, and it did not take the attention from the bride,,,,but the family all knew of me and I was going.
