Well my mom said no to come to my wedding...You see we haven't really spoken in about 1 and 1/2 years. I have tried but she just can be very difficult so i sent her an invitation hoping she would get that i wanted her there and we should put the past behind us.. Now i don't know what to do ..my FH thinks i should suck it up and call her and talk to her about it but i feel that i have already tried and by her saying no is her way of making me call her so she can feel like i begged and everything that happened was my fault..I don't know what to do i could really use some unbiased opnions. Thanks.
danielle19755
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
wow this is a hard one.. Not knowing exactally what happen between the both of you.. I say call her.. shes your mom, even though you may have issues between the both of you.. After you call and she still says no, then you will know that you tried your hardest and will have no regreats!! Good luck in what you decide!!!
LB and DC
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
i don't know what to say... if it were me (i am incredibly stubborn) i wouldn't call, because of my pride, but i think the right thing to do would be to call. that way, you give her the chance to explain - and even if she doesn't, you will never regret having not called her, and you won't have to say, 'what if...'
milana
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
i agree call her b/c you really have nothing to lose and only something to gain if you both can work this out. I know how difficult it is to pick up that phone but its true how people say its always easier to do nothing. This way you wont be saying to yourself later, what if i called maybe things would be different.
diva7531
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
Do you know that it is not your fault? Will her being there be a good thing or will it make you feel uncomfortable at your own wedding? Ask yourself the hard questions before you make the call, then expect the worst, so if it happens you are prepared. I would call and ask her to come in person, tell her that this time in your life makes you realize that family is more important than what happened in the past. And that you would really like her to be there but it is her choice. Good Luck, I hope it works out in your favor.
jeanmarie
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP.. I AM VERY VERY STUBBORN THO...LOL...I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
Roed522
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
Maybe she just felt that the invite was sent because you felt you had to send it not that you actually cared that she showed up. I say give her a call and tell her that you sent it because you truly wanted her to be by your side on your wedding day (if that's what you want) Good luck.
nifheim
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
call her - too many missed opportunities in life. my fh's parents died when he was a child and he has one big regret. With meeting him i have learned don't leave regrets because there will be a time where they can not be resolved.
if you call her and NOT BEG but kindly ask her that you would love her to be there and this could be a new start point, etc... really how you feel and she says no still then your job is done. No guilt, no depression over it just move on. but if you call her you gave her a real person last chance.
DiamondPipa
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
call her!
bonitachyc
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call her!
Shorty McBride
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
awww, that's terrible - I'm sorry!
call her
kavirtue
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
Call her... You will feel much better about yourself and the situation. Call her....
twinkletoes807
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
That $ucks!! Honestly, I would call her if I were you. If you truly want her there, then that is the reason why you would be making the call- not to delve into the past and address the issues of the past. She's your mom and she should be at her daughter's wedding. Period. Have a glass or two of wine and call her up. You will be glad you did. Keep us posted!!
Mooshyboo
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
Well I definately can feel you on this subject since I have not spoken to my mom in about 2 years... and she is not coming to my wedding I am choosing not to invite her don't want the rejection of her not coming or not RSVPing etc ~ I called her to tell her about my FH & i the day after we got engaged ~ she did not pick up the phone when i called and i had to leave a message she called me 3 days later and left me a message at my job when she knew i was gone for the day and told me to have a nice life.... then i still went back for more and sent her a mother's day card 2006 she never opened it up and put it back into another card (I thought she might want to reconcile) but she had my unopened card inside her card and her card pretty much told me F**K O**...soooooo my advice is go with your heart - if you want to call her call her if you don't and you feel like you have done all you can do right now then leave it alone and maybe she needs more space (and pray that down the line things will get better) ~ the way that I am looking at my situation is - my mother is going to miss out on her only daughter getting married she was not there for any of the engagement or any of my happiness - she never went dress shopping with me - my MOH & BM and my MJ (stepmom) did all these things with me! and these are things that can not be done over... I know down the line she is going to regret her actions! So what ever your heart tells you to do... go with it! Good Luck sweetie ~ if you ever want to FM me anytime!
luvabul
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
i agree..i am VERY stubborn
but at the end of the day she is your mother...DO NOT BEG for her to come..if she wants too really she will...but ask and talk to her
hope it all works out
Snickers76
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
I am really sorry that you are in this situation. My friend just went through the same exact thing except that her Mom RSVP'd Yes and then 2 days before canceled...with 15 other people! She also gave my friend a really hard time about everything. SHe was very upset and stressed out in the days leading up to her reception. In the end, she had the BEST time at her wedding and while she was sad that her Mom chose not to come, everyone realized that it was her Mom's loss. This is a very sad situation to be in. Here are some hugs for you...
JassyandOscar
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
I am so sorry to hear this. I would call her. I think that if you don't it may continue to bother you, and you make just keep thinking to yourself 'what if I had called'
Mrs A in May
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
I agree with calling her. There's no need to beg, just be honest about how you feel. If she still says no it will hurt pretty bad but deep in your heart you will know that you reached out to her as much as you could.
PeteysBride
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
Well as other posters said, I would think long and hard of why you are making the call. If you invited her just because you felt it was 'the thing to do' but didn't want her there in your heart, then don't call because she will know it and it will just backfire. I don't know what happened to put distance between the two of you, but if you honestly want a new relationship with her,t hen you have to grovel if thats what it requires. Love=humbling. cliche but true. If she was at fault and you want a relationship, then you need to suck it up because unfortunately, having similar situations with my mom in my own life, they are too old to change. If you want them, have to take them as they are. If its not worth the aggravation, then don't even try. Hope it works out.
Bride4Mike07
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Re: My Mom Said No.......
I can totally relate. I know it's hard because I had the same sentiments about my half-sister and my father. What helped me through the decisions and choices of speaking to them and inviting them to our wedding was FH and my mom. They were persistent and told me that regardless of how they felt or what they did, they are still family and so what they didn't apologize for hurting my feelings, but to forgive them and be the bigger person. So I did....despite the fact that what they did was very hurtful and unforgivable....but I did.
Maybe your mom did or said something you didn't agree and that caused your separation, but think about your relationship before that incident, was she there for you when times were hard. Can you honestly say she was a 'good' mom to you. I know some girls are saying...huh? a 'good' mom? Unfortunately some people are not so blessed and don't have that luxury of having good parents, but back to that, if you can answer 'yes' to those two questions, then you should call her. Not because you're 'begging' her to come, but explain how you really feel and how you want her to share in your special day.
You cannot continue to hold grudges and not speak to each other for the rest of your lives...Hopefully you and FH will have children and I'm sure you'd want them involved in your mom's life too....JMO I'm sorry if I put my two-sense in but I feel you have a serious situation that can get worse if you don't speak about it now. I know you're probably tired of repeating the same thing, or attempting, but in this case, be the bigger person or the Christian person and speak openly. If you need moral support have FH there, but if I personally think it's something you need to do on your own. Hope this advice helped...Good luck to you and I hope your mom can see past these things and go to your wedding!
