My opinion clearly doesn't matter...

Apparently this isn't my wedding, it's my parents second wedding. I understand that they are paying for it, but shouldn't my opinion count at all??? First I had to deal with my brother telling me that he wants his 3 year old and 18 month old children at my cocktail hour, when I clearly stated NO KIDS ALLOWED. His wife's response was...well if your family doens't come to the church then they won't see our kids. REALLY...how about if my family doens't come they DON'T SEE ME GET MARRIED?!?!??! I guess they forgot it's not all about them! Then I told my parents I want a band/dj combo. Well there response was we don't want a dj. IT'S A COMBO...you get both so we'll both be happy. Apparently no one cares. They are calling me bridezilla. At this point I don't care, I'll live up to my name if I have to. Is it me or is this not normal??


Rant over!

it's not you ... that's not cool that they are doing things for themselves, and not for you ...

so sorry you have to deal with that

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I sometimes get the feeling that MY wedding is really My families party...it's very annoying some of the comments you get.

Maybe you need to just sit them down and tell them how YOU & your FH want things. They're paying so they feel entitled to having an opinion; but it should still ultimately be what YOU & Your FH want.

Regardless of who's paying- it's YOUR and FH's wedding. Don't feel too bad, me and FH are paying for our wedding and I still get comments of what I must do for my wedding!!!

I understand how much of pain this can be. But in the end you have to pick and choose your battles. Especially since you aren't paying for it.

I think the band/DJ combo is a great compromise.
And if you don't want kids there then make your opinion known. If everyone else throws a fit about it then let it go. It's their parents who are going to have to watch them anyway.

ohhh i am soooo sorry! That really sux! My grandparents planned my parents whole wedding so my mom is totally laying off.. even though they are paying for the RH....

Maybe have a conversation alone with your mom without getting heated! Then maybe you can make her see you are greatful they are paying but that you want to have a say since it is your wedding!

as far as the kids go... i dont know what to tell you!? we are having no kids except for FH nephews that will be 7 and 2 at the time! but if you really want NO children then stick to it!!!!!! be a bridezilla - ITS OK!!!!

Ughh that *****.

I'd really try to go with the flow though, especially with the kids. I think you can still convince them on the band/dj combo..maybe bringing them to a few vendors?

As great as it is to be making the decisions ourselves, I'd be seriously grateful if my moms had the means to pay for my wedding, so I'd go with the flow more, but the grass is always greener...

I am so sorry chica u are going thru this...
Have you talk talking to them? In a good way u shoudl tell them this is ur wedding.. and u appreciate them paying for things but u want things to be ur way bc it is ur dream...

ok, see here is where it gets sticky.
since you are not payiong for the event, you have some say over the matter but not much.
Unless you want to pay for a portion of the event yourselves, you should all try to compromise on certain things.

You won't be watching any children at the wedding and they will not steal your thunder on your wedding day so let them come, this is not worth fighting over.

The band/dj combo - try to explain, without losing your top that the band will be playing for the major portion of the event and the dj will only play during the CH. However, if they are paying for this, you may want to just have the band play the whole night, less people to tip and it will all flow more smoothly from one part of the event to another.

Hope it works out!