My parents are divorced and don't speak

btrflygrl Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:36 PM

My parents are divorced and don't speak

My dad and mother are divorced for 11 years now...neither of them will speak to each other and this will obviously cause a problem at the wedding....how do they get seated? Dad remarried, so if the parents get intro'd, they walk in together...but isn't it horrible to make my mother walk in alone??? Can someone reflect on their experiences.....

KerrC Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:41 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

Can you maybe get a sibling of your mother to walk in with her? An Uncle, grandparent or friend of yours to escort her in?

franksbride Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:42 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

Yikes...that tough.

I don't think it would be horrible for your mom to be introed alone...or, do you have a brother? Maybe he can walk her in...or what about an uncle?

For seating...maybe you can put your dad with his family, i.e., his brother or sister?

You've now made me think of something I haven't even before...how is my mom going to walk in...my dad is not in the picture...maybe since my brother is walking me down the aisle, they can walk in together.

Donna Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:51 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

I'm getting married in April so I can't tell you my experience but I can let you know what I plan to do, maybe that will help. Both of my parents have significant others but aren't married. Here are some of the things I'm doing -
Receiving line at church - only my mom and dad and his parents
to the reception - I got them separate cars
at the reception - they each have their own 'head' table
they will each be introduced with their sig. other.

I see that your mom will be alone, how about an uncle, or brother or cousin to escort her?

I hope it all works out for you. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they will just put everything aside for my sake that day.

jannshari Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:53 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

We have the same problem. FH's parents are divorced, hate each other with a passion, and his father is remarried. We also don't like the new wife, and I'm sure his father is going to want her to at least be acknowledged somehow (he wants HER family invited to the wedding when neither of us really knows them or wants them there and FH hasn't had the balls yet to tell him that they are not going to be invited), so we're having the same issues with regard to traditional parental roles. If you figure something out, please let me know!

Donna Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:53 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

one more thing - at church my mother gets the first row and my father will be behind in her the 2nd one. Or if the bridal party is in the first row, then they will be 2nd and 3rd

Mandy77 Posted: Sep 09, 2003 02:54 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

I am in a similar situation. My mom can't stand my dad, he is remarried with 2 kids...they are in the wedding party. I'm actually more concerned about the limo because we were planning on getting one for the parents.

I just think that we are going to skip the parent intros at the reception. I think it will just save headaches.

As far as the seating, I'm putting my mom with her immediate family and my cousins and my dad with his family.

joeslauren Posted: Sep 09, 2003 03:12 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

i had my brother walk my mother in. i also had seperate tables (of course) and a table in between the two of them and others manipulated the seating so that they sat back to back and wouldn't even have to look at each other when eating! it was fine. just make sure that everyone gets just a little bit of acknowledgement to make them happy.

btrflygrl Posted: Sep 09, 2003 03:18 PM

Re: My parents are divorced and don't speak

OK...update: My only sister is my MOH, so she has to come in with the Best Man....My mother has one sister and one brother, neither of which is in the wedding party and I'm not close to either....no brothers, no male cousins (yup...they're all girls)...the DJ suggested not having them walk in and just doing a 'spotlight and stand and wave' kind of thing.....maybe...but I wonder how FH parents will like that idea......
Ceremony seating: I read in a bridal mag that the parent that raised you and their SO gets 1st pew (we chose our dad to live with when they got divorced), siblings get 2nd pew and the other parent gets 3rd pew.....is that insulting? Plus the only grandparent between FH and I is my grandma, who is my dads' mom...... They are already getting separate tables to host....Where do I put my FH parents? Their own table or do they sit with my dad???