My friend is getting married next weekend and having all sorts of wedding-related problems with her FH. She calls me almost every night crying.
Most recently, he was first upset because her parents wanted to place the tables their friends/family would sit at and he didn't like that. Then her FH let that one go, but is not being reasonable with seating....he insists on taking all of the 'good spots' and has left my friend's mom with sh_t tables. I know weddings bring out the worst in people but its taking everything in me not to kill this guy.
Oh, and to top it off, he doesn't like my friend's parents...AT ALL... which poses a big problem in my book. (Then again, I think my MIL is a b_tch...I know many of you saw my horrid posts when I was planning my wedding...but I don't flat out HATE her.)
Any advice for me or my friend on how to handle? I don't want to overstep, but I don't want her to be hurt either.
Shmar
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Re: My Poor Friend
O my goodness, that's terrible.
Well, first if your's friends FH doesn't like his IL's then that's not good. Not every married couple likes their in laws. I'm fortunate as I'm sure you are too!
However, I would advise your friend to split the tables equally so that each side of the family has an equal # os good and bad tables. that's the only fair way to do it. Just be a friend and be there for her and listen to everything she says even if you don't want to.
If they can't work this out then there is nothing more you can do. But it sounds like her FH is being a little bit of a creep.
MichLiz213
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Re: My Poor Friend
If he doesn't like her parents, the problems sound far from 'wedding related.'
She needs to sit down with FH and have a long talk with him. But the way you're describing him is making the red lights go off in my head. Be a good friend to her, let her vent to you, but tell her she needs to talk to FH before the wedding.
Kara and Todd
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Re: My Poor Friend
All you can do personally is be a good listener and offer support for your friend... It's never a good idea to get into family arguments.
Your friend needs to stand up to her FH and get equal treatment for her family... but just try to be there for her.
That really stinks, though.
R&J0806
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Re: My Poor Friend
Red lights have been going off in my head! I feel awful saying this, but I don't think - put the wedding planning aside - that her marriage is going to be successful. There are so many reasons.....but that's not exactly something you can tell your friend.
dante31300
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Re: My Poor Friend
Posted by R&J0806
Red lights have been going off in my head! I feel awful saying this, but I don't think - put the wedding planning aside - that her marriage is going to be successful. There are so many reasons.....but that's not exactly something you can tell your friend.
Yes you can't tell your firend that. Just be supportive as I'm sure you have been and just hope that everything works out for her. They definitely need to learn to compromise I love the idea of splitting the good and bad tables equally hoepfully he will accept that solution.
Fall07Bride
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Re: My Poor Friend
some people put all the grooms family at the even numbered tables and the brides at the odds. this way you know whos family is at what table and people can mingle and get to know each other. thats one way to tackle that but it seems like there are more issues there. i would just be supportive at this time. dont make her feel worse or scared im sure what you are seeing she is too, but she's prolly not ready to deal with it or cancle her wedding. hope it works out for her!!
MichLiz213
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Re: My Poor Friend
Posted by Fall07Bride
some people put all the grooms family at the even numbered tables and the brides at the odds.
Ooohhh I like that idea!
snydl40
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Re: My Poor Friend
That's a great idea! It sounds like he is being unreasonable and should be more flexible.
It's a big problem that he doesn't like her parents though. That is going to be so much stress on their marriage, and is most likely going to lead to a bad situation. I would definetly tell her to sit down and have a heart to heart with him, otherwise their will be BIG problems in the future.
