My RSVP Poem

I'm really bored. This topic isn't even a problem with me yet (well, not a drastic one), but it's been such a rampant issue on these boards I played around with some rhyme and put this together :). (I should be continuing to clean out my closet right now, but, eh. Whatever.

RSVP! - The Poem

I'm getting married -
Yippee! Hooray!
I just can not wait
until my big day
The only things that might
make me go 'BOO!'
are the dozens of things
that I have to do.
For instance, one topic
of endless frustration
is awaiting responses
from my invitations
I'm sure that I sent out
my RSVP cards
but I'm missing 100 -
are these people retards?
I've called and I've asked
to ease my poor head
and get some good reasons...
I got these instead:
'I had to send it?
Gee, I didn't know!'
No, Einstein, you see,
that stamp was for show.
Oh, come on, Bridezilla,
you know I'm attending!
Nope - clearly those stamps
weren't money worth spending
I guess I can come.
Can my five kids come,too?
Why not hike up my guest list
to a thousand and two?
Just chill out, okay?
I mean, what's the big deal?
Ever had tons of envelopes
you had to seal?
And a DJ to book,
the flowers, the hair,
the limos, the cake -
it's quite an affair.
It takes time and resources
to be a new wife
And, psst...here's a secret -
I DO have a LIFE
I'd like to enjoy this
without having to worry
about changing my seating
in a last minute hurry.
So, here's my suggestion -
this may seem REAL hard...
pick up a pen
and your response card
Write your name, and check yes
or no, then you're set
to send it to me -
not hard to forget.
I gave you the envelope
with a stamp and address
so give me ten minutes
and save me some stress
That's ALL that I ask...
well, no, I'll also ask that
you please don't wear white
or suggest I look fat.
And I PROMISE you
I'll be as pleasant as PIE...
...
No RSVPs today.

Why?