My sisters housewarming party...

I am so sorry I know it must be so hard to see your sister going through this and you just want better for her and also your niece. The only thing i can say is to talk to her, not in a way where you're telling her what to do, but sincerely talking to her and ask her if she is happy with this situation and what can she do to try to make things different. When you're in it, its hard bc you do know what should be done and how you should get treated but its sad to say that after a while it kinda becomes the norm and your life adjusts to it. I know with my ex alot of ppl were like 'what is she doing with him' at times so i know both sides of this.

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Posted by Espo22

I am so sorry I know it must be so hard to see your sister going through this and you just want better for her and also your niece. The only thing i can say is to talk to her, not in a way where you're telling her what to do, but sincerely talking to her and ask her if she is happy with this situation and what can she do to try to make things different. When you're in it, its hard bc you do know what should be done and how you should get treated but its sad to say that after a while it kinda becomes the norm and your life adjusts to it. I know with my ex alot of ppl were like 'what is she doing with him' at times so i know both sides of this.

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I try. My sister is a tricky person because she's one of thsoe girls who 'settles' because theyre trying so hard to find real love. I feel like she deserves so much better. You had to see her, she was crying the next morning and this was supposed to be a happy time for her. I dont get it. She's doing so well for herself right now. She has her own apartment a great job. Why does she need this guy? He's like a huge miserable weight on her shoulders. To me, it looks like she knows what she has to do, but wont do it. Im gonna try and talk to her about it today.

Wow are you talking about my sister and her loser b/f?? Very similar to my situation.

Just stand by your sister and be there for her. I'm sure she's hurt but she probably thinks he is going to change. Has anyone tried talking to her about him? Or talking to him?

I hope things work out for your sister.

That stinks. It is so hard to see someone you love in a relationship that you know is unhealthy or when you know they deserve better. It must have been embarassing for you to witness, but even more embarassing for her.

Are you guys really close? do you think you can sit down with her and have a talk about how unhealthy it is for her and her daughter to stay in an environment like that? What if the next time they get in the fight at a mall or something and your neice is with them and he just leaves them there? you are in a tough spot, my friend!

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Posted by SB7308

Wow are you talking about my sister and her loser b/f?? Very similar to my situation.

Just stand by your sister and be there for her. I'm sure she's hurt but she probably thinks he is going to change. Has anyone tried talking to her about him? Or talking to him?

I hope things work out for your sister.

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So you definitely know how I feel! And I know she thinks hes gonna change but its crazy cause she was with him a few years ago and he was the same way. She ended up leaving him and got back together with him last year saying 'he changed' Yeah he changed to get her back and then went right back to his old self. We all spoke to her the morning after the housewarming but you could tell she wasnt really listening. I dont know what he does when he doesnt come home btu I dont trust him and she says, 'Oh he's probably passed out in his dads house' Its just so ridiculous. This is gonna end badly for her if she doesnt take control.

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Posted by yelley77

That stinks. It is so hard to see someone you love in a relationship that you know is unhealthy or when you know they deserve better. It must have been embarassing for you to witness, but even more embarassing for her.

Are you guys really close? do you think you can sit down with her and have a talk about how unhealthy it is for her and her daughter to stay in an environment like that? What if the next time they get in the fight at a mall or something and your neice is with them and he just leaves them there? you are in a tough spot, my friend!

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Exactly. My FH would never leave me anywhere. It doesnt matter what kind of fight were in. Someone who cares about doesnt do that, especially in front of your family. He's the type of guy that you cant talk to or else he feels 'disrespected'. That 'machismo' thing where theyre the man and no woman can talk down to them. I feel so bad for my niece.

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Posted by Songstress1212

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Posted by yelley77

That stinks. It is so hard to see someone you love in a relationship that you know is unhealthy or when you know they deserve better. It must have been embarassing for you to witness, but even more embarassing for her.

Are you guys really close? do you think you can sit down with her and have a talk about how unhealthy it is for her and her daughter to stay in an environment like that? What if the next time they get in the fight at a mall or something and your neice is with them and he just leaves them there? you are in a tough spot, my friend!

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Exactly. My FH would never leave me anywhere. It doesnt matter what kind of fight were in. Someone who cares about doesnt do that, especially in front of your family. He's the type of guy that you cant talk to or else he feels 'disrespected'. That 'machismo' thing where theyre the man and no woman can talk down to them. I feel so bad for my niece.

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your poor sister. she needs to get out !!!! ASAP!!!

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Posted by Songstress1212

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Posted by Espo22

I am so sorry I know it must be so hard to see your sister going through this and you just want better for her and also your niece. The only thing i can say is to talk to her, not in a way where you're telling her what to do, but sincerely talking to her and ask her if she is happy with this situation and what can she do to try to make things different. When you're in it, its hard bc you do know what should be done and how you should get treated but its sad to say that after a while it kinda becomes the norm and your life adjusts to it. I know with my ex alot of ppl were like 'what is she doing with him' at times so i know both sides of this.

---

I try. My sister is a tricky person because she's one of thsoe girls who 'settles' because theyre trying so hard to find real love. I feel like she deserves so much better. You had to see her, she was crying the next morning and this was supposed to be a happy time for her. I dont get it. She's doing so well for herself right now. She has her own apartment a great job. Why does she need this guy? He's like a huge miserable weight on her shoulders. To me, it looks like she knows what she has to do, but wont do it. Im gonna try and talk to her about it today.

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she knows deep down inside...but with guys like that, what they do is they know how to take away your self-esteem and you start to think that you wont find someone else who would love you and appreciate you so that is why you settle...she has to realize that there are people who would cherish her and appreciate her and she doesn't have to deal with this...it can be a long process, its not easy.

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Posted by Songstress1212

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Posted by SB7308

Wow are you talking about my sister and her loser b/f?? Very similar to my situation.

Just stand by your sister and be there for her. I'm sure she's hurt but she probably thinks he is going to change. Has anyone tried talking to her about him? Or talking to him?

I hope things work out for your sister.

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So you definitely know how I feel! And I know she thinks hes gonna change but its crazy cause she was with him a few years ago and he was the same way. She ended up leaving him and got back together with him last year saying 'he changed' Yeah he changed to get her back and then went right back to his old self. We all spoke to her the morning after the housewarming but you could tell she wasnt really listening. I dont know what he does when he doesnt come home btu I dont trust him and she says, 'Oh he's probably passed out in his dads house' Its just so ridiculous. This is gonna end badly for her if she doesnt take control.

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The problem is he will NEVER change. He is who he is. My sister just had a baby with this shmuck and now he's on drugs. But she still wants to move back in with him.
Maybe sit with her and talk to her. Make sure her priorities are herself and her child. She can do so much better than that guy. He is disrespectful towards her and she shouldnt deserve that.
'A way a man treats his mother is the way he treats his girlfriend/wife' I've seen it and believe that.

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Posted by Songstress1212

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Posted by SB7308

Wow are you talking about my sister and her loser b/f?? Very similar to my situation.

Just stand by your sister and be there for her. I'm sure she's hurt but she probably thinks he is going to change. Has anyone tried talking to her about him? Or talking to him?

I hope things work out for your sister.

---

So you definitely know how I feel! And I know she thinks hes gonna change but its crazy cause she was with him a few years ago and he was the same way. She ended up leaving him and got back together with him last year saying 'he changed' Yeah he changed to get her back and then went right back to his old self. We all spoke to her the morning after the housewarming but you could tell she wasnt really listening. I dont know what he does when he doesnt come home btu I dont trust him and she says, 'Oh he's probably passed out in his dads house' Its just so ridiculous. This is gonna end badly for her if she doesnt take control.

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oh yeah i remember that cycle of breaking up then when you're broken up they are the nicest, sweetest most loving people to get you back and its always 'BUT I CHANGED' and they'll do things to prove they changed, and when you get back they will be different but it doesn't last long because eventually they go back to their old ways.

i know how much it stinks to watch a loved one go through a terrible relationship - hang in there