My sister's shower - Rants, Raves, and Advice for Bridal Parties
OK ladies - yesterday was my sister's shower. Everyone said they had a really nice time, but a few things happened that REALLY bugged me, mostly due to a breakdown in communication between the bridesmaids. So, I wanted to write this mini-review and give what I think may be some helpful advice.
We had the shower at The White House in Queens. When I called places for price quotes, they offered me the most for my money. We had all agreed early on that a buffet would be the best way to go, and I am so happy we did that.
We worked with Matt who was an absolute gem. He kept giving us extra things for free, and we thought it was great.
The food was GREAT, and the service to our guests was EXCELLENT!
However, Matt was not there the day of the shower, and the staff was not informed of alot of things. I'm not sure where the breakdown in communication was, but there were some things the lady in charge gave us a hard time about. The table seating wasn't right when we arrived, but the staff fixed it.
We were told we could bring in cookies but the lady there said 'we make it a policy to not allow food from the outside to be served'. We said Matt said it was OK, and she was looking at the sheet with all our info on it and said 'It doesn't say here that you can bring them in'
Overall, I found the lady in charge of our event to be snarky. She seemed to have this 'i know better than all of you' attitude. Granted, she has done this a million times, but she seemed unwilling to cooperate with us on alot of things. I honestly think she was annoyed because Matt didn't tell her about a lot of things.
They spelled my sister's name wrong on the cake. Now, if you remember I had the great idea to put a Barbie Bride on the cake. This thing gave me a nightmare for 2 days. Matt had told me I could come in on Friday evening, bring the cake unfrosted, and meet with his baker to tell him how to assemble. I get there on Friday and it seemed like Matt had totally forgotten because the baker was gone. Now, the cake looked nice, but I honesly felt like Barbie could have been alot better. I was not really happy with the way they chose to frost her. So, I demanded to see the cake before they brought it out just to check, and sure enough my sister's name is wrong. The lady in charge holds up the sheet with all the info on it, and says to my mom 'Ma'am, did you sign this' and sure enough my mom hadn't. But I was thinking, what if she had, would they have refused to fix it?
So, again, the food and service at the Whitehouse was excellent. But behind the scenes a few things went wrong that were due to a lack of communication.
Now - advice for the bridal party - meet, chat, talk, discuss, IN PERSON AT LEAST ONCE!!!
My sister's shower was 1-5, but everything was done at 4 because one bridesmaid went rogue and decided to speed through all the games. We tried for weeks to get this bridesmaid to meet with us in person and she was always simply too busy. She rarely responded to e-mails and it just got annoying and frustrating.
Little things really bothered me because my older sister and I, as Co-MOHs, really put alot of thought and care into every aspect, and it seemed like the other BMs just did whatever was easiest.
For example, we had talked about getting a 'bridal Shower Book' for my sister. I had seen one, and it had photo pages, pages for guests to sign in and write words of advice, special pages for parents and bridal party, a list of guests and gifts, and a page at the back for the bride's memories.
That is not the book the bridesmaid bought. She bought some cheap journal that must have cost about $3. I had told her I would get it and she insisted she wanted to help out and she would get it. I told her all about what I had seen, and for weeks I asked her if she had gotten it and she said 'not yet'. I almost cried when she got there and I saw this flimsy notepad.
One BM was supposed to get 3 lbs of cookies in a plain box. Just a plain box because we had nice trays we were going to organize them on for each tables. She arrived 20 minutes before the shower with 3 one-lb trays nicely wrapped and organized. This obviously cost much more and she said when she got there that was all they had. Yes, that is why we asked her to call ahead and place an order. I'm thinking she just ran in and ran out.
The most annoying was the one bridesmaid who said she would be in charge of games and prizes. When all the guests came in, she handed them sheets with all the games stapled together. As soon as my sister came in and made the rounds, she was like 'Okay, here are the answers to game 1'. Alot of people hadn't even filled it out and I told her to slow down and let people get comfortable. She didn't really listen, and within 15 minutes the first 2 games were done. I really don't think anyone played, especially not my mom's immediate family who were still all chatting. We have no idea who won, and we HATED the prizes she gave. We said photo albums and it looked like she regifted things she had gotten for Christmas.
So, she wanted to speed immediately into the 3rd game, but we told her to calm down and we were going to have food. Right after the food, we did the cake and then it was present time. Now, my sister did have alot of gifts, but this bridesmaid started opening all of them and just handing my sister the opened gifts and the cards. She said this was how it was done. Since we had sped through the games, I knew we had extra time for gifts, and asked her to slow down. Again, she really didn't listen, and I think my sister was getting upset that she didn't get to unwrap things herself. And the BM who was writing everything down couldn't even keep up. Plus I know several family members had put alot of thought and effort into the gift wrapping and to see someone else open them, well that made them upset.
So, we finished the gifts in record time, and I needed to use the restroom. I come out of the restroom and the next game is over. At this point I am like '***!?!?!?!'. Here is it 4:00 and everything is done. No more games, all presents have been opened, dessert has been served, and now people think it is over and are starting to leave. I told her 'we still have an hour and we're all done?!?!' and she was like 'well, now people can sit and talk'. No, people started leaving. INCLUDING HER!!!
That is what killed me, I think she rushed through my sister's shower because she had things to do.
So, I think to most people it was a perfectly fine day. But to my older sister and I, well we don't even want to see this BM ever again. We will keep the peace for my sister's sake, because it is her wedding, but we are just so furious at this one girl who wouldn't return phone calls and e-mails, and then took over everything and cut my sister's shower short. Even my sister said later that night 'what were the games because I missed the first one'. And she said she felt a little rushed with the presents and would have like to open them herself.
My sister is only getting one of these, and I really feel like it could have been so much better. I know this BM is alreade giving her grief about the wedding and the schedule.
So, advice to all you girls who are going to be in a bridal party, get together a few times. You'd be amazed at how getting everyone in a room for an hour or two to talk everything though can really help. If this BM had made the effort to coordinate with us, I know my sister's show could have been so much better!
We had the shower at The White House in Queens. When I called places for price quotes, they offered me the most for my money. We had all agreed early on that a buffet would be the best way to go, and I am so happy we did that.
We worked with Matt who was an absolute gem. He kept giving us extra things for free, and we thought it was great.
The food was GREAT, and the service to our guests was EXCELLENT!
However, Matt was not there the day of the shower, and the staff was not informed of alot of things. I'm not sure where the breakdown in communication was, but there were some things the lady in charge gave us a hard time about. The table seating wasn't right when we arrived, but the staff fixed it.
We were told we could bring in cookies but the lady there said 'we make it a policy to not allow food from the outside to be served'. We said Matt said it was OK, and she was looking at the sheet with all our info on it and said 'It doesn't say here that you can bring them in'
Overall, I found the lady in charge of our event to be snarky. She seemed to have this 'i know better than all of you' attitude. Granted, she has done this a million times, but she seemed unwilling to cooperate with us on alot of things. I honestly think she was annoyed because Matt didn't tell her about a lot of things.
They spelled my sister's name wrong on the cake. Now, if you remember I had the great idea to put a Barbie Bride on the cake. This thing gave me a nightmare for 2 days. Matt had told me I could come in on Friday evening, bring the cake unfrosted, and meet with his baker to tell him how to assemble. I get there on Friday and it seemed like Matt had totally forgotten because the baker was gone. Now, the cake looked nice, but I honesly felt like Barbie could have been alot better. I was not really happy with the way they chose to frost her. So, I demanded to see the cake before they brought it out just to check, and sure enough my sister's name is wrong. The lady in charge holds up the sheet with all the info on it, and says to my mom 'Ma'am, did you sign this' and sure enough my mom hadn't. But I was thinking, what if she had, would they have refused to fix it?
So, again, the food and service at the Whitehouse was excellent. But behind the scenes a few things went wrong that were due to a lack of communication.
Now - advice for the bridal party - meet, chat, talk, discuss, IN PERSON AT LEAST ONCE!!!
My sister's shower was 1-5, but everything was done at 4 because one bridesmaid went rogue and decided to speed through all the games. We tried for weeks to get this bridesmaid to meet with us in person and she was always simply too busy. She rarely responded to e-mails and it just got annoying and frustrating.
Little things really bothered me because my older sister and I, as Co-MOHs, really put alot of thought and care into every aspect, and it seemed like the other BMs just did whatever was easiest.
For example, we had talked about getting a 'bridal Shower Book' for my sister. I had seen one, and it had photo pages, pages for guests to sign in and write words of advice, special pages for parents and bridal party, a list of guests and gifts, and a page at the back for the bride's memories.
That is not the book the bridesmaid bought. She bought some cheap journal that must have cost about $3. I had told her I would get it and she insisted she wanted to help out and she would get it. I told her all about what I had seen, and for weeks I asked her if she had gotten it and she said 'not yet'. I almost cried when she got there and I saw this flimsy notepad.
One BM was supposed to get 3 lbs of cookies in a plain box. Just a plain box because we had nice trays we were going to organize them on for each tables. She arrived 20 minutes before the shower with 3 one-lb trays nicely wrapped and organized. This obviously cost much more and she said when she got there that was all they had. Yes, that is why we asked her to call ahead and place an order. I'm thinking she just ran in and ran out.
The most annoying was the one bridesmaid who said she would be in charge of games and prizes. When all the guests came in, she handed them sheets with all the games stapled together. As soon as my sister came in and made the rounds, she was like 'Okay, here are the answers to game 1'. Alot of people hadn't even filled it out and I told her to slow down and let people get comfortable. She didn't really listen, and within 15 minutes the first 2 games were done. I really don't think anyone played, especially not my mom's immediate family who were still all chatting. We have no idea who won, and we HATED the prizes she gave. We said photo albums and it looked like she regifted things she had gotten for Christmas.
So, she wanted to speed immediately into the 3rd game, but we told her to calm down and we were going to have food. Right after the food, we did the cake and then it was present time. Now, my sister did have alot of gifts, but this bridesmaid started opening all of them and just handing my sister the opened gifts and the cards. She said this was how it was done. Since we had sped through the games, I knew we had extra time for gifts, and asked her to slow down. Again, she really didn't listen, and I think my sister was getting upset that she didn't get to unwrap things herself. And the BM who was writing everything down couldn't even keep up. Plus I know several family members had put alot of thought and effort into the gift wrapping and to see someone else open them, well that made them upset.
So, we finished the gifts in record time, and I needed to use the restroom. I come out of the restroom and the next game is over. At this point I am like '***!?!?!?!'. Here is it 4:00 and everything is done. No more games, all presents have been opened, dessert has been served, and now people think it is over and are starting to leave. I told her 'we still have an hour and we're all done?!?!' and she was like 'well, now people can sit and talk'. No, people started leaving. INCLUDING HER!!!
That is what killed me, I think she rushed through my sister's shower because she had things to do.
So, I think to most people it was a perfectly fine day. But to my older sister and I, well we don't even want to see this BM ever again. We will keep the peace for my sister's sake, because it is her wedding, but we are just so furious at this one girl who wouldn't return phone calls and e-mails, and then took over everything and cut my sister's shower short. Even my sister said later that night 'what were the games because I missed the first one'. And she said she felt a little rushed with the presents and would have like to open them herself.
My sister is only getting one of these, and I really feel like it could have been so much better. I know this BM is alreade giving her grief about the wedding and the schedule.
So, advice to all you girls who are going to be in a bridal party, get together a few times. You'd be amazed at how getting everyone in a room for an hour or two to talk everything though can really help. If this BM had made the effort to coordinate with us, I know my sister's show could have been so much better!
