My Story: New Ettiquette vs. Peggy Post Ettiquette
I see it time and time again. Two people in love, get engaged and want the story book wedding. We pick our bridal parties with the best intentions and pray to God they know what they have taken upon themselves by agreeing to stand up for us on our special day.
It comes time for things to be planned, dresses to be order, invites to go out and money to be paid for all of these things that a bride hopes she will get. Then, you find out people are flaky.
When I got engaged I had no idea I was going to be having a traditional wedding and reception, NY style. I am from Kansas where we get married in church and then your family decorates the rented VFW and everyone brings a covered dish and Aunt Tilly makes your wedding cake. The DJ is usually your young cousin who has more stereo equipment than any one person should be allowed to have. The whole she-bang, dress and tuxes included, costs about $2,000. A bride will register at Target and Wal-Mart and also end up with 15 hand knitted afghans for the family room if you have one.
When we got engaged, I thought we were going to elope Vegas style. AT least that's what my FH told me.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ WRONG
His teeny tine family consisting of 5 other people besides himself pretty much demanded he have a wedding THEY could attend.
I freaked out. I probably should have been institutionalized because I was at my lowest point ever amidst all of my supposed happiness. I know people from here anticipate things to be done by ETTIQUETTE. My family are not people of means. I grew up a majority of my life in a trailer park and shabby rented houses. My mom wasn't even able to buy her own home until I was out of highschool. I told Paul and his family to expect nothing from my family, and that I would never ask them to fund a NY style event. They had no idea how costly it could be. My family have never been able to wrap their minds around how I have managed to live here for the past 10 years.
My amazing fiance. I love him with every beat of my heart, but not nearly as much as my family. My mom, who from this point on became a saint in my opinion, offered up enough money to cover the cost of a reasonable reception. FMIL offered to pay for flowers and RD. Bless them both they have relieved a huge burden to both of us.
Bridal shower - LMAO Yeah, I am getting one in Kansas. I have to PAY to get there and my sister has no intention of inviting or hosting any of my NY friends who are ABSOLUTELY willing to travel to BFE for my shower.
FH and I have offered to pay 1/3 of hotel costs for OOT from Kansas because it is such a financial burden for them to be here. We are happy to do it, plus the cost of everything else involved full well knowing we will not recoup any of it. Now, they want it ALL covered. Seriously...........I am ill and heart broken over the fact that these people will have had 2 whole years to prepare for this. Did I mention they all globe trot? My kansas family have been on more europeanm vacations than me.
I will not be getting a bachelorette party. My sister wants all of the glory of MOH ( which I asked my b/f to do because she is single and has alot more time to do ) then my sis with is a single mom of 2 teenage kids that play sports. I told sis this, and she wa sin furiated. However, everytime I need her to handle something now she throws up that I am not the only perso on her agenda and she is avery busy woman.
So..........for all of you people considering ettiquette and who pays for what............my humble suggestion is you should consider doing all of it yourselves. That way if someone happens to take the task on themselves or offer to help it will be a much needed relief and a appreciated a WHOLE LOT MORE. IMHO weddings and unions of this grandeur bring out the worst in people and the only people we can count on are ourselves!
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It comes time for things to be planned, dresses to be order, invites to go out and money to be paid for all of these things that a bride hopes she will get. Then, you find out people are flaky.
When I got engaged I had no idea I was going to be having a traditional wedding and reception, NY style. I am from Kansas where we get married in church and then your family decorates the rented VFW and everyone brings a covered dish and Aunt Tilly makes your wedding cake. The DJ is usually your young cousin who has more stereo equipment than any one person should be allowed to have. The whole she-bang, dress and tuxes included, costs about $2,000. A bride will register at Target and Wal-Mart and also end up with 15 hand knitted afghans for the family room if you have one.
When we got engaged, I thought we were going to elope Vegas style. AT least that's what my FH told me.
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZ WRONG
His teeny tine family consisting of 5 other people besides himself pretty much demanded he have a wedding THEY could attend.
I freaked out. I probably should have been institutionalized because I was at my lowest point ever amidst all of my supposed happiness. I know people from here anticipate things to be done by ETTIQUETTE. My family are not people of means. I grew up a majority of my life in a trailer park and shabby rented houses. My mom wasn't even able to buy her own home until I was out of highschool. I told Paul and his family to expect nothing from my family, and that I would never ask them to fund a NY style event. They had no idea how costly it could be. My family have never been able to wrap their minds around how I have managed to live here for the past 10 years.
My amazing fiance. I love him with every beat of my heart, but not nearly as much as my family. My mom, who from this point on became a saint in my opinion, offered up enough money to cover the cost of a reasonable reception. FMIL offered to pay for flowers and RD. Bless them both they have relieved a huge burden to both of us.
Bridal shower - LMAO Yeah, I am getting one in Kansas. I have to PAY to get there and my sister has no intention of inviting or hosting any of my NY friends who are ABSOLUTELY willing to travel to BFE for my shower.
FH and I have offered to pay 1/3 of hotel costs for OOT from Kansas because it is such a financial burden for them to be here. We are happy to do it, plus the cost of everything else involved full well knowing we will not recoup any of it. Now, they want it ALL covered. Seriously...........I am ill and heart broken over the fact that these people will have had 2 whole years to prepare for this. Did I mention they all globe trot? My kansas family have been on more europeanm vacations than me.
I will not be getting a bachelorette party. My sister wants all of the glory of MOH ( which I asked my b/f to do because she is single and has alot more time to do ) then my sis with is a single mom of 2 teenage kids that play sports. I told sis this, and she wa sin furiated. However, everytime I need her to handle something now she throws up that I am not the only perso on her agenda and she is avery busy woman.
So..........for all of you people considering ettiquette and who pays for what............my humble suggestion is you should consider doing all of it yourselves. That way if someone happens to take the task on themselves or offer to help it will be a much needed relief and a appreciated a WHOLE LOT MORE. IMHO weddings and unions of this grandeur bring out the worst in people and the only people we can count on are ourselves!
