Okay girls, we always listen to each other when we vent...now I have one. I know the rule of thumb about waiting to ask your bridal party, but I always knew I wanted my cousins, Renee, Ericka, and Stephanie. I will back up a bit..we had my cousin's wedding in PA about 2 weeks ago, and Stephanie who is 17 was boasting that she was able to get a drink. I said something like, you're under age you shouldn't be drinking. Plus this bartender was being generous with the liquor so the drinks were strong. So I get a call the other night from my aunt, Steph's mom, who called to tell me that Steph was not going to be in the bridal party because it is just uncomfortable. I don't know what that means and I also couldn't figure out why this 17 year old who thinks she is old enough to drink, isn't mature enough to call me herself! So after an email battle with my aunt b/c Steph wouldn't call me or get on the phone if I called, basically Steph was mad that I said that and thinks I have favorites. I was like, okay so she's getting mad over words and making a decision about something that isn't happening for 2 years??!! Okay, so I said something about something she isn't supposed to do anyway!! I know I am better off...but I just thought this was ridiculous!!!
ant n tilde
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that doesnt make any sense at all! trust me what i have learned from these boards is that it is better that she backed out now rather than later - you only want people around you who are going to support you and love you!
you dont want some girl who is completely immature! what is the big deal about you saying something - i mean its not like you called the cops adn reported underage drinking!
people are selfish - i hope the rest of your planning is a better experience!
susdoug
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Thanks!! It feels good to see that someone else sees it the way I do!
LT708
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it is so funny that she couldn't call you herself and had to get her mom involved because she was doing something she shouldn't
IMO she seems immature and doesn't realize that the decision she is making will probably come back to haunt her in the long run. You said you knew that you always wanted her in the wedding party, so maybe you should give her time to really think about this. She will probably regret it if in two years she is 19 and realizes how great it would have been to be in your bridal party. It may also damage your relationship with her in the future. Although she is upset with you now, she will realize how stupid it was later.
susdoug
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Thanks...when I spoke to my aunt I said I thought she should think about it and her feelings might change. But my aunt said no this is best. I know it is better she backed out now, I would rather deal with this drama now rather than in a year or so. I just think she should have had the guts to call me herself. When she told my other cousin Ericka that she was going to drop out, Ericka even said that she should call me herself. Thanks for all your comforting girls!!!!
moonlithaze
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Sorry you're cousin backed out. It definitely would have been nice if she had the guts to tell you herself. I agree with the other girls at least now you know on your wedding day you'll be surrounded by the girls who want to make your day what you've always dreamed it would be.
tdebe
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It was definitely immature of her not to call you herself, but 17 is that weird age where some people have become young adults by then and others still act like teenagers. I can totally see that difference just by looking at my younger brother and FH younger sister (strangely enough, it's my brother that's the mature one, although I would never admit that to him). Two years could be enough time for her to grow up and realize her mistake, but if not, it's definitely better for her to back down now. You definitely don't need the hassle later when you should be having fun planning your wedding!
susdoug
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Thanks girls!!!
MillerFord742008
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IMO...I know u love ur cousin and everything but I feel like u need mature people in your BP. Not someone who is immature and thinks she's gonna get trashed at ur BP. Just let her sit up front with the family and consider some more friends. Dont let her feel like she actually is affecting your whole wedding. Family really gets ridiculous when it comes to wedding they seem to do alot of things to try to rock the boat.
Chrissywish
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i agree with everyone else...and everything happens for a reason :) if you still want to leave her the option you can....otherwise better now than later down the road when the stress level is higher
susdoug
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Thanks...I am going ti consider more friends...I have a few in mind but I want to wait until next year to ask them. Also, I really don't want to give her the option to change her mind. I really don't want to deal with her drama!
