My turn to vent (long)

I blocked rooms at 2 hotels the week of the wedding. I actaully did 2 hotels, one up near where we live and one down by the hall. My FH seems to think that guests from his side will want to stay up near the irish pubs that are up in the area we live in because then there's someplace to go in the evenings. I kinda understand that but at the same time, these people are in another country, many have never been here before. I don't know if they're going to want to do what they do at home too. Know what I mean? Like if I was to go to Italy, I wouldn't go to the movies at night like I did here.

So FH's friend says to him Friday night that he thinks it's alot of $ to spend on buses for the day of the wedding transporting the guests from FH's side from the hotel to the church/hall/back to the hotel. No sh*t!

But that's what FH wanted to do from the beginning. He didnn't even get the quotes, I did. So now he's thinking not doing the buses, and telling his guests that the day before or the day of the wedding they can check out of the hotel up near where we live, get transportation to the hotel near the hall and check in there for the weekend and that way we don't need to rent a bus for them. But I booked the hotels on Long Island with the intention that the guests I'm inviting would book those! Like my relatives and my friends from NJ and out east and upstate!!! We were going to send out the invitations to his overseas guests a few weeks before the American guests becasue they might need more time to book flights and what not (although they all know about the wedding and the date) but if we do that then they'll be able to book the Long Island hotel rooms before MY relatives and guests! Not fair!! It just ****es me off becasue I keep saying (not intentionally) 'my wedding this' and 'my wedding that' yet it's looking like FH thinks it's HIS wedding the way he thinks his guests are more important than mine! I don't like that idea at all. He keeps saying no he doesn't, that it's just a bit more to think about with them since they are coming over from overseas whereas most of my guests live within driving distance. So that means my guests have to go home instead of staying in a hotel if they chose so? Jeez. He's not from here so of course all our wedding traditions are a bit foreign to him and he's alwasy complaining about how expensive it is and how everything in NY is all about money money money - hey - I know that - but I can't help it. I'm trying my best to keep costs down and while he says he wants to help out - he's kinda being more of a pain than helping. A friend of mine said 'I told my husband when we were engaged 'i'm not your friend during this time, i'm gonna bug the hell outta you and complain to you and yell at you so please don't take it to heart' '. I said that to FH and he said she was an idiot for saying that. Hello. That idiot recommended to us the hall we booked, and where we got our video/photographer/limo. So don't diss her. Grr.
It's like he can criticize me and what I think and my friends but he's always right. Give me a breaK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grr!!

Oh geez.. that bites!

Anyway you can book more space at that hotel?
I agree that this would upset me too. I'm sorry sorry you have to deal with this.

Grrrrrr - I feel your pain.
I had a 2 month 'discussion/debate' about flowers with my DH while planning the wedding.

I don't like your FH's suggestion of having them check in and out of hotels - I know I wouldn't do that. But I do understand trying to be extra accomadating for people travelling from another country.

How far is the hotel for the overseas travellers from the hall & church?
How many people are you going to need to move around?
Aren't any of them renting cars?
Can the hotel arrange transportation?
Can you block more rooms at the hotel closer to your hall?
How much is the bus? Can your future in-laws help with the expense of moving their family around?

maybe you could book more space at the hotel? or cheat a little and tell your guest BEFORE the info gets sent above seas to his guests... you did book them for your guests....

Christine,

I don't think any of them will rent a car. Most of his family/friends will be in Yonkers where there's buses and trains. Maybe it will all work out. I don't know. As far as the In laws - they haven't offered a dime and I doubt they will. I don't think it's being out of meanness, more out of not thinking about it. My FFIL is a doll and I really doubt he's even thought 'maybe I should help them out'. I think once he gets here and sees how much we're shelling out he might help. But he dones't have a credit card so if he doens't bring enough $$ to cover for things like the bus or rehursal dinner, then forget it, he can't help. It's different in Ireland, for past 20 years anyone getting married pay for everything themselves. In fact, most of them buy the house first, and ask for more $ on the mortgage so they can use that to pay for the wedding and then pay it all back with mortgage payments. He just doens't get it because he didn't grow up here knowing that 'this is how it is'. He knows the bus is expensive and we'll probably have to pay it. I want to run away - maybe I'll get a blow up doll and dress her in my dress and someone can push her up the aisle and pretend it's me, and I'll just go on the honeymoon a day early =) Thanks for listening

oh yeah my guests will know way before his do where to book hotels =)

actually just got off phone with him. he's so like 'oh don't worry about it'. yeah ok. i'll wait until the week before when everything is freakin' wrong and then worry. please. but he said don't worry about hotels, we'll block one for my guests only and another one for any of his that want to stay down there. but he's told most of his guests they're being bused so they are well informed and if any decide last moment not to go back on bus, they're on their own. =)