My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

R&J0806 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:21 PM

My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

My proofs are ready. The photographer is waiting on payment from my in laws (our families split the costs of everything) but my in laws do what they want and they'll pay when they're ready. I told them the photos were in but left it alone. I don't want to fight anymore. It's been a tough year.

Then in dawns on me...if they pay the photographer in person, they'll take the proofs with them and because I know how they are, they'll either keep the proofs for themselves or not let me see them for months. (I know, not fair but this is how they are.) So I called the photographer - the plotting continues - and ask him to do me a favor: if they pay in person, please tell them that he can only release the proofs to me. From a legal standpoint, he can't do that because I didn't sign the contract. Okay. Understandable.

Then he tells me that my MIL has been giving him grief for the last month because she wants her own set of proofs. Fine. But she doesn't want to pay their asking price. They even lowered it but that's still not good enough for her. So who knows if she'll come in to pay the balance and just take the one set that we're entitled to or just ignore the balance all together and instead use the money she would have spent on another set of proofs.

The photographer tells me to get in there as fast as possible and suggested that I just pay her half of the balance out of my pocket and I decided that it's worth the few hundred for the peace of mind of knowing that I have MY pictures.

I'm still freaking out though. My father thinks this could start a fight....as many of you know, EVERYTHING starts a fight with this crazy woman. I'm going to tell DH at the last minute so he doesn't have time to get his mom involved beforehand.

How do I make myself feel better? Am I nuts??? I thought this grief was supposed to be over!

ant n tilde Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:25 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

OMG your first priority is to get THOSE PROOFS

and then do whatever it takes to smooth things over - just tell her straight out

'i am so excited to see my proofs, i just couldnt wait another moment - you guys have helped so much already i didnt want to bother you so i got them myself i hope you dont take offense'

now this is if you want to keep the peace - and the way she sounds . . . it may be the best way!!!

of course the other plan of attack could be just punching her in the face - i think the second idea would make you feel A LOT better

i am sorry you are going through this!!!!!!!

leshellem Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:28 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

CAN YOU AFFORD TO PAY THE BALANCE, I WOULD JUST DO IT AND MOVE ON. YOUR MIL SOUNDS LIKE A REAL NUT CASE.

Chrissywish Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:38 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Posted by ant n tilde

OMG your first priority is to get THOSE PROOFS

and then do whatever it takes to smooth things over - just tell her straight out

'i am so excited to see my proofs, i just couldnt wait another moment - you guys have helped so much already i didnt want to bother you so i got them myself i hope you dont take offense'

now this is if you want to keep the peace - and the way she sounds . . . it may be the best way!!!

of course the other plan of attack could be just punching her in the face - i think the second idea would make you feel A LOT better

i am sorry you are going through this!!!!!!!

I agree...do what will give you a peice of mind....and then play it off like I just couldn't wait and instead of burdening you more..blah blah blah

I'd rather argue over me paying her part, than having to fight her for all the proofs

ellebelle1 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:42 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Posted by leshellem

CAN YOU AFFORD TO PAY THE BALANCE, I WOULD JUST DO IT AND MOVE ON. YOUR MIL SOUNDS LIKE A REAL NUT CASE.

I 100% agree. Use some of your wedding gifts.. And, do not ever deal with money with those people again.

NY031978 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:43 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

id def just go and get the proofs.......if its a few hundred dollars its worth it too me knowing i have my pics and my MIL doesnt!

MJDoc12 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:44 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

remembering the drama that this woman caused you b4....just PAY FOR THE PROOFS!!!!

you'll have them, it'll be over and done with, and you won't have to worry about her holding them hostage. if she gets pissy later, at least you'll have them!!!

good luck!

BJandDan Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:48 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Get your proofs. If need be, lie and tell her that you paid in full so she doesn't think you just didn't want her paying.

CLMon7906 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:49 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

omg....sooooooooooooo go over there RIGHT NOW and pay up and take them home!!! i am shaking from reading this! wow!!! the thought and nerve...you are right to be 'scared' and i'd do what it takes to get them!

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Sep 08, 2006 03:50 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

I would just pay for the proofs and go get them myself. Can your photographer put them on a CD for your MIL?
Who cares if they start a fight - it was YOUR wedding, not hers!! What was the price for the extra set of proofs? I might even pay for that as well to avoid aggravation and the get the woman away from me.

October Bliss Posted: Sep 08, 2006 04:03 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Robyn after everything this woman has done, and the torment and torture she has subjected you to . . . RUN DO NOT WALK to the photographer with any money you can scrounge up and pay for them yourself.

Heck, I'd even loan you the money just so that woman doesn't get her hands on them!

AMGBride2008 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 04:04 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

I agree!!! Go pay the balance and get the proofs. This woman is in your life for the long haul so it's time that you make a move to show that she can NOT step all over you anymore.
Go get 'em Girl!!!!!!!!!!

Post those proofs too... we wanna see!!!!

nypdgirl Posted: Sep 08, 2006 04:13 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

GEEZZZZZ what is with this women!

UMM NOOO do what you can and get those pics yourself, her having control over this is not good, what kills me is that IT's your wedding not hers, she needs to BACK OFF! Good luck and cant wait to see the pics!

kitty1224 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 05:18 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Talk to FH tell him to speak to them and pay for them yourself. Thats what I would do.

sr081906 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 05:46 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Honestly, come up with the money and pay for the proofs.

That way they will be yours. She can figure out herself how to get another 'at full price'.

KellyS15 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 06:59 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

I am sooo sorry that you have to go through that stress. I agree with the rest of the girls! GET THOSE PROOFS! Good Luck and let us know what happens.

LBride Posted: Sep 08, 2006 07:41 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

she sounds bizarre, why does she want ALL the proofs too? isnt a parent enough?

DC2 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 07:50 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Let's get one thing straight--those are your proofs!!!! It was your wedding day and those pics are for you and your husband. I can relate to the grief that you are going through, my FMIL is similar. BUT I would just bite the bullet and pay the extra cash that she was supposed to just to make sure that the proofs are in your hands. As for your husband--he should understand and feel the same way about you two having the proofs. Hope things work out ok.

snydl40 Posted: Sep 08, 2006 10:29 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

I agree-I would go get those proofs NOW! Eat the $ and have your sanity and peace of mind.

HelenZ Posted: Sep 08, 2006 11:45 PM

Re: My Wedding Is Over and My In Laws Are Still Giving Me Panic Attacks!!!!

Posted by leshellem

CAN YOU AFFORD TO PAY THE BALANCE, I WOULD JUST DO IT AND MOVE ON. YOUR MIL SOUNDS LIKE A REAL NUT CASE.

'nut case' so funny , but so sad you have to deal with this drama!!!

I don't know all the history you have with your MIL, but it doesn't sound pretty! My FMIL has her moments too, but this is one thing I don't think she'd even do!

Go get your proofs...she has no right to have your set!