need a little advice - my very first wedding issue!

Hey Ladies! I just wanted to see if you guys had any ideas.

Recently my FMIL came to my FH and I and said she wanted to throw us an engagement party, my FH and I were already thinking about this but something more along the lines of a party for our families to meet, something laid back, like a fun bbq, and we would ask each guest to bring their favorite recipe so we can build our own family cook book, just a simple event, we didn't want anything big.

So we suggested this idea to her, her backyard is huge, and she was against it saying that we would have to worry about the weather too much and it would be too much work, she suggested a hall but we feel thats a little over the top for us, plus we would like to save all the money we can for the wedding!! My FH told me later that he feels that she just doesn't want to take the time in hosting it.

So later on I told her that my aunt offered to have it in her yard and now my FMIL is all for it!!!! So now I'm like wait a second .. why should my aunt host it its your son!! Of course I would never say that because I don't want to argue!!

So if anyone has any advice on how to handle this pllleasse fill me in, or maybe if anyone thinks a park or something to that effect is a good idea!!

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!!

Your FMIL probably doesn't want to deal with the setting up and the mess afterwards. It's a lot of work...that's probably why she changed her mind about it once you said your aunt suggested it be at her house. If you want to have it at your aunts house have her help your aunt out to. If you are not catering the food ask her what she would be willing to contribute.
Hope everything works out.

thank you ladies for the advice!!!! .. dont get me wrong I am very grateful for my FMIL's offer .. I just feel bad putting it on my aunt now but THANKS!

I agree that FMIL probably does not like hosting events. It is a ton of work, and maybe she would just rather lay back and enough the party rather than running around making sure everything is taken care of. I would take advantage of the fact that your aunt was nice enough to host it, and not look into why your FMIL doesn't want.

Hope it works out ok!

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Posted by cmsw267

Hey Ladies! I just wanted to see if you guys had any ideas.

Recently my FMIL came to my FH and I and said she wanted to throw us an engagement party, my FH and I were already thinking about this but something more along the lines of a party for our families to meet, something laid back, like a fun bbq, and we would ask each guest to bring their favorite recipe so we can build our own family cook book, just a simple event, we didn't want anything big.

So we suggested this idea to her, her backyard is huge, and she was against it saying that we would have to worry about the weather too much and it would be too much work, she suggested a hall but we feel thats a little over the top for us, plus we would like to save all the money we can for the wedding!! My FH told me later that he feels that she just doesn't want to take the time in hosting it.

So later on I told her that my aunt offered to have it in her yard and now my FMIL is all for it!!!! So now I'm like wait a second .. why should my aunt host it its your son!! Of course I would never say that because I don't want to argue!!

So if anyone has any advice on how to handle this pllleasse fill me in, or maybe if anyone thinks a park or something to that effect is a good idea!!

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG!!!

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I think you should stick to your aunt. If your FMIL doesn't want to host or fork out the money for a hall then do it your way. If she was willing to fork out the money and host for a hall, for example, then roll with it.

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

sometimes people just dont like to host parties at their house since they are a ton of work. and most people feel that it usually cost the same to have it in your house after all is said and done as to have it in a hall where they will set up and clean up... dont take it personally... just be greatfull shes even offering.... if you really want it in the back yard then have it at your aunts.. but having it at a hall could also be laid back.. check out VFWs or fire houses even just a resturant where you can rent a room or something. its all what you make of it!

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i agree.. she may not want to host, having it in a backyard is a lot of work and she may want to enjoy herself. it takes time to clean up and set out food and etc...

plus in all honesty... we thrown many backyard parties to celebrate graduations and birthdays (usualyl with 75-100 people) and it ended up costing about the same as it did for us to have our eparty in a place. since we ordered tents and my grandma did most of the cooking. the plus was we didnt have to clean up, cook, and set up!

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

sometimes people just dont like to host parties at their house since they are a ton of work. and most people feel that it usually cost the same to have it in your house after all is said and done as to have it in a hall where they will set up and clean up... dont take it personally... just be greatfull shes even offering.... if you really want it in the back yard then have it at your aunts.. but having it at a hall could also be laid back.. check out VFWs or fire houses even just a resturant where you can rent a room or something. its all what you make of it!

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i agree.. she may not want to host, having it in a backyard is a lot of work and she may want to enjoy herself. it takes time to clean up and set out food and etc...

plus in all honesty... we thrown many backyard parties to celebrate graduations and birthdays (usualyl with 75-100 people) and it ended up costing about the same as it did for us to have our eparty in a place. since we ordered tents and my grandma did most of the cooking. the plus was we didnt have to clean up, cook, and set up!

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I agree with you JGL. I think you can look around and see what you can find. You can do something casual. If you are looking at summer, maybe a hawaii/beach theme, everyone casual or a white theme.

FH and I are thinking about doing a lounge thing in the city. That is fun. I also know a lot of restayrants have private rooms so you look into that too. Look into the Gatsby. I think they have reasonable prices

thank you for all the advice ladies!! I really appreciate it!