NEED ADVICE!!!!

MrsStefan Posted: May 01, 2005 11:14 PM

NEED ADVICE!!!!

I asked my brother's girlfriend of 2 years to be in my wedding party. Partly because I wanted her to be in it, and partly because she is my brother's girlfriend. I spoke with my borther earlier today and he said that they 'are not doing too good' and they might be breaking up. Now what? if they break up do I keep her in the wedding party? I think that would make my brother (and family) SUPER uncomfortable. Advice please!

Shorty McBride Posted: May 01, 2005 11:22 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

If they break up, I don't think *I* would keep her in my BP. It's still early, you have plenty of time.

I agree that it would make everyone uncomfortable, including HER!!!

sarahbelle Posted: May 01, 2005 11:24 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

I agree with Shorty-- I don't think she would want to be in your BP if they break up.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: May 01, 2005 11:25 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Posted by Shorty McBride

If they break up, I don't think *I* would keep her in my BP. It's still early, you have plenty of time.

I agree that it would make everyone uncomfortable, including HER!!!

Yea, I agree... I have had many thoughts of asking my brother's girlfriend, but have not because of this very reason. Its such a tough situation because she is such a sweetheart, and I would love to have her in the BP, but there is always that 'what if' factor.

Kiddo115 Posted: May 01, 2005 11:25 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

She might just come to you and ask you.. or ask if she might be let out of her BM position.. it's tricky when family members date.. too often I am more attached to the significant other than to the family member!

MrsStefan Posted: May 01, 2005 11:27 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Yeah this is a hard one cause I really like her, and I thought they were gonna end up 'being together'..but he is still young (23), but I met my FH when I was 20 and now look at us. Its just hard. I dont know..I guess we will have to see what will happen with them. I still have plenty of time

Goldi1021 Posted: May 01, 2005 11:31 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Family always comes first. Tell her you apologize but for your brother's sake, you are going to have to ask her to step down. but perhaps you should wait until maybe you are closer to ordering your dresses and see how it goes.

Riss44 Posted: May 01, 2005 11:37 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Yikes, this is a tough situation...I'm going to have to agree with what all of the girls have already posted. Not only will it be an uncomfortable situation for your brother if they break up, but for her as well. I would wait it out and see what happens...but I probably wouldn't have her in it. If there is that 'what if' factor in the mix this makes it hard.....I would explain to her that it would be hard on every one and would leave every one uncomfortable and take it from there. Good luck!! This is a toughy

Marissa

KandM2006 Posted: May 01, 2005 11:40 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

If they break up you might not want to really see her in your pictures 20 years from now!

MrsStefan Posted: May 01, 2005 11:43 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

the pics is a good point. I dont know, we will have to see. It seems like he is really unhappy right now though

gNi1125 Posted: May 02, 2005 12:05 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Posted by KandM2006

If they break up you might not want to really see her in your pictures 20 years from now!

I agree

glinda_goodwitch Posted: May 02, 2005 12:13 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

Posted by Kiddo115

She might just come to you and ask you.. or ask if she might be let out of her BM position.. it's tricky when family members date.. too often I am more attached to the significant other than to the family member!

I totally hear that! Sometimes I think: well, if they break up, can we keep sig other instead?

serendipity0680 Posted: May 02, 2005 06:25 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

I agree, if they break-up then she should not be a BM, this is just to avoid any extra stress on you. Planning a wedding and worrying about the wedding day is stressful enough. But take things one day at a time and see what happens with your brother and his girlfriend.

cindyandkevin Posted: May 02, 2005 10:10 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

You def don't have to have her if they break up, no need to make everyone uncomfortable. I'm sure she'd totally understand and prob be relieved. I want to ask FI cousin's gf to be a BM but I'd really feel a lot better about it if he'd propose to her already. It's been like 4 years and no ring yet, they lived together once and it didn't work out but they're still dating. So I def hear ya!!

july06bride Posted: May 02, 2005 10:12 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

I was in a similar situation...but i wound up NOT asking fiances brothers girlfriend...

I would think she would NOT want to be in it, but I think you need to wait and see what happens with them

iffer042373 Posted: May 02, 2005 10:34 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE!!!!

If they break up I would jsut explain to her that its nothing personal but I think it would be best for everyone that your not a part of the BP since it would be uncomfortable for my brother and probably you plus I don't want any tention or added stress. She may even decide on her own to back out.

The only thing is if she alreaday paid for the dress and things like that then you really can't ask her to step down since she spent money