My cousin's daughter is coming out in my wedding as a flower girl. She has 2 children, one 4 (girl) and a 1 year old (boy). She and her husband have known for a year that we do not want kids at our wedding, only the kids that are part of the bridal party. She agreed to it, and now springs on me after responding yes for 3 people (herself, her husband and daughter) that her husband may not come because he does not feel comfortable leaving his son home (virginia) while they come up to NY for 2 days. Now..her mother lives in Virginia, her father, his mother, grandmother and father...I don't understand how all of the sudden it bothers him? I mean call me crazy..but he's known this for a year now and didn't have a problem with it. He told my cousin (his wife) that he will stay in the hotel while she attends the wedding (alone).
Now here is my dilemma...do I: a) let them bring the baby b) stick to my guns and just take her husband out
Update: I'm sticking to my guns..no kids except for those in the bridal party. Thanks everyone!!!!
MJDoc12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
i swear i'm not trying to sound shady---but maybe he just doesn't want to go to the wedding and is using the kid as an excuse?
i guess it's a personal choice---do you truly want him to be there or not? do you think he will totally come w/o any problems if you say 'okay--bring the kid?'
ronnysbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Are other guests going to be offended if they see a kid there that is not in the bridal party?
Mitabtrfly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Posted by MJDoc12
i swear i'm not trying to sound shady---but maybe he just doesn't want to go to the wedding and is using the kid as an excuse?
i guess it's a personal choice---do you truly want him to be there or not? do you think he will totally come w/o any problems if you say 'okay--bring the kid?'
It's ok...I thought the same thing...but then thought damn I've known him since he was LITTLE and he is family and was so excited when he heard I was getting married. I truly believe that he doesn't want to leave his son at home..but at the same time I think it's real inconsiderate of him to drop this on me now 9 days away when he knew about this for so long ...you know? the best part is my cousin who has been a Pain in the arse the whole time has the nerve to tell me 'I don't want you to get stressed out but'....excuse me??? She of all people should know the time, money and stress that is involved with a wedding..because she had a big one herself...one that I was in..and guess what..NO kids were allowed either. It's just amazing. At this point..if he doesn't want to come...then he doesn't have to..and I think it's funny how when I said I'll see about the baby ...the tune changed a bit.
Mitabtrfly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Posted by ronnysbride
Are other guests going to be offended if they see a kid there that is not in the bridal party?
This is the dilemma I am thinking about. There are members of my bridal party who have kids and aren't bringing them..so why should family be special.
soon2bcopswife
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Posted by MJDoc12
i swear i'm not trying to sound shady---but maybe he just doesn't want to go to the wedding and is using the kid as an excuse?
i guess it's a personal choice---do you truly want him to be there or not? do you think he will totally come w/o any problems if you say 'okay--bring the kid?'
You took the words out of my mouth....
Mitabtrfly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
the more i think about it..the more I think he doesn't want to come. OH WELL his loss.
stephanielyse
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Not to pick on you, but it doesn't seem very nice to say 'you can bring one of your kids to my wedding, but not the other.' It's one thing to say no kids, but you're letting them bring their daughter, but telling them to leave their son in Virginia. I don't think I'd like being told that. But yes, they should have figured this out a while ago, since they've known for a year. So if there are other people who are not bringing their babies that might be offended, you have to decide if you want to risk them getting p!ssy or if you'd rather tell your cousin's husband not to come to the wedding.
ronnysbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
i say stick to your guns.....because i would hate to hear other people complaining on why so and so has there kid here and I couldn't....
however if you want you can recommend a babysitter in NY....maybe that can work since they'll be watching the kid for only a few hours instead of 2 days.
Captsarkasm
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
I would say just let them bring the baby.....if anything, it's going to ruin their night because they'll have to be watching him.... Plus, I don't think its worth the aggravation for you.
*** The only problem will be if you have another BP kid who has siblings.... They're going to wonder why they weren't allowed to bring their child. We're doing it that any BP member (FG or RB) and there siblings are the only kids allowed at the wedding.
GOOD LUCK!
Mitabtrfly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Posted by stephanielyse
Not to pick on you, but it doesn't seem very nice to say 'you can bring one of your kids to my wedding, but not the other.' It's one thing to say no kids, but you're letting them bring their daughter, but telling them to leave their son in Virginia. I don't think I'd like being told that. But yes, they should have figured this out a while ago, since they've known for a year. So if there are other people who are not bringing their babies that might be offended, you have to decide if you want to risk them getting p!ssy or if you'd rather tell your cousin's husband not to come to the wedding.
I don't think it's a matter of picking a child ...that's not it at all. Her daughter who is 4-1/2 is my flower girl, and her son who is 1 is not in the wedding. It's not that I picked one child over the other, one child is in my wedding and the other isn't. I personally don't see anything wrong with that, especially because she had the option to not have her in it.
Mitabtrfly
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need Advice..
Posted by ronnysbride
i say stick to your guns.....because i would hate to hear other people complaining on why so and so has there kid here and I couldn't....
however if you want you can recommend a babysitter in NY....maybe that can work since they'll be watching the kid for only a few hours instead of 2 days.
Unfortunately the father isn't even comfortable with leaving their son with a GOOD friend of theirs..so at this point..I say he doesn't have to come. I'm sorry but I don't want any kids screaming during my ceremony. I've seen too many cases like that and prefer not to have it.
