need advice

I am feeling totally overwhelmed. I seriously cannot handle the wedding, work, grad school and my regular life. It has become extremely stressful for my FH and I. Our relationship has really suffered. We are fighting all of the time and things are getting much worse.

It is making me extremely nervous about getting married. I don't know why, but it is just seems to have thrown everything that was balanced out of whack. I expressed this to my FH this morning. I said we should consider pushing the wedding back and letting things be calmer for a while...

I don't know if these things are normal... I don't know if people get nervous like this or not... I am just feeling very confused. My mother said I should just move the date back, but I don't want to make any quick decisions...

Have any of you experienced this? What did you do? Am I totally nuts?

I have heard it is very common as the date gets closer to drift farther apart try to remember why you are marrying him and anytime you get stressed remember this turmil is just temporary.For FH and I things have been opposite we are like honeymooners but I know a bunch of people who were def ready to throw in the towelhang in there and FM me if you need anything

i think a day-cation would be helpful... I just don't know if he would feel like he had time to do that... he is first year teacher still in grad school.... super stressful for him...

This is tough...b/c when I was in grad school and am also a teacher, I was alwaysssssss stressed out between both things- this was way before we even started planning a wedding. I couldnt even imagine adding a wedding with working full time and grad school bc I went to school yr round to try to finish.

Yes, granted it is difficult... but I feel that it could be done. Planning a wedding will be stressful if you go to grad school or not. I am so over this whole wedding planning business that I cant wait to have it all over with. I am stressed out to the max.
Fh and I just took a vacation and were able to be stress free and not have to worry about the wedding and it was all about 'us' ....the minute we got back, it is all hectic again. You should totally try a getaway or something- even if its for the weekend.

Ive been to grad school and if he works hard during the week, he can have the weekend off so that can be done. I used to take my grad work to my elementary school and work during my prep periods and during my lunch to get it all done. Tell him how you feel and see if you guys can plan something out. I think you both need to remember why you are getting married in the 1st place...because you both love each other and enjoy your company together.

Good luck!!

the stress can be very overwhelming so what you are feeling is very natural.

it is so hard to find that balance. I dont know if pushing the wedding back is the answer only becuase there is always going to be 'somehting' that makes planning harder than expected.

I relate to your feelings because personally I found that FH and I were starting to argue anytime something wedding related came up. I had to step back and say, planning our wedding should bring us closer NOT make things worse.

What I did was:

Ask for help. I am a do it myself type of girl but I had to realize that I needed help! I started relying on my mom and MOH more. I had to realize I cant do it all!

Make lists ( as you check things off it gives you a sense of accomplishment...the list will be long and seem daunting but you can do it! one task at a time)

Find time: everyone has a million things to do, work, home life, school etc. but even if it is a 1/2 walk around the block do it! just that simple down time with no wedding, talk, no work talk just time together with your FH.

I think I can safely say that every girl on the board can understand what you are feeling... When all the hard work and stress culminates in the day of your dreams, you will look back and say it was all worth it !!!!!


GL


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I read on here that another bride was experiencing stress like this as well and set aside ONE day during the week to talk wedding, aside from that and actually doing the things on the weekend, they would only talk wedding on Wednesday.

Your relationship shouldn't suffer from planning this, it should be something you enjoy together...I know alot of guys don't want to be involved....is there anyone else that can help you? Mom MOH?

GL!

He has tried to be helpful since he saw how it was affecting me. It has been better, but I just feel like this should have been easier...

I know that deep down we can get through this... it just seems like it shouldn't be so hard.

I am def. going to limit my wedding work to one day or night a week...

I just suggested the day-cation and he seemed responsive! Maybe a trip will help...

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Posted by teachcrowley

He has tried to be helpful since he saw how it was affecting me. It has been better, but I just feel like this should have been easier...

I know that deep down we can get through this... it just seems like it shouldn't be so hard.

I am def. going to limit my wedding work to one day or night a week...

I just suggested the day-cation and he seemed responsive! Maybe a trip will help...

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You can def. get through this together

Good luck!!