fh doesn't have a relationship with his father. He hasn't really been in his life and every so often pops in and then leaves. I've met him twice (we have been dating 8 years). Recently fhs mom said that his dad contacted her and wants to see him . I told him to give him a chance. I would be the first person to say he's not good for him and our lives-but we are getting married so I think we should give him a chance. Anyways that's not even what I need advice on. Fh has cousins from his dads side that he hasn't spoken to in years. I actually found a girl cousin that's close to my age (she got married in 07 found her registry while I was searching fhs last name for our registry) Do you think I should reach out to her on facebook? I did this with my cousin years ago and now we talk so I think it would be nice to have him know his family other than his mothers side. Any thoughts?
Jna2010
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Re: need advice
i dont know thats a sticky situation.... i would ask fh if he even wants you to do this, he may have his own reserves about it. If fh did that to me with not even telling me about it first i would be a little pissed.
Spring143
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ahh im always in sticky situations. I think he wants me to weve spoke a few times about it.
AdriandSteve
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I think b/c it's FH's cousins ask to see what he would like. It's one thing to contact your own family to bring them back into your life but it's another if it's someone else's.
It's a nice thought and gesture but talk to FH about his feelings first. It might open a can of worms that was better off closed.
Antigua8910
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How would your FH feel about this? Keep in mind this could possible mean inviting more people to the wedding too. I can see why you would want to do this but I would discuss with FH. There is a reason why he doesn't want to stay connected to that side of the family
MarjorieFrank
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Posted by AdriandSteve
I think b/c it's FH's cousins ask to see what he would like. It's one thing to contact your own family to bring them back into your life but it's another if it's someone else's.
It's a nice thought and gesture but talk to FH about his feelings first. It might open a can of worms that was better off closed.
ITA! I think you may be overstepping boundaires by going over FH and reaching out to his cousins.
soontobecruz
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I wouldn't do it unless FH says it's ok to do it. It's sad he doesn't have much family on his Dad's side he knows or is close with but really that is totally his call
Lsorrent
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Posted by MarjorieFrank
Posted by AdriandSteve
I think b/c it's FH's cousins ask to see what he would like. It's one thing to contact your own family to bring them back into your life but it's another if it's someone else's.
It's a nice thought and gesture but talk to FH about his feelings first. It might open a can of worms that was better off closed.
ITA! I think you may be overstepping boundaires by going over FH and reaching out to his cousins.
I agree. I think this needs to be FH's call. Stay out of it. I had thought of doing this with FH and and old friend of his, but he might kill me if I do. If FH wants it to happen, he'll make it happen. Don't go behind his back.
Spring143
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yeahhhh thats the reason why I havent done it since. Maybe Ill try to see his dad first and maybe he can make arrangements for us to meet. we dont care about inviting them to the wedding we are having a small wedding and still need a few to make sure we meet our min. plus i really cant stand his mother so having his dads side there would be great. something happened between his dad and his dads bros but that was between them-not fh. Hes not really computer friendly (he just started using it once we shared a comp) I couldnt believe he doesnt email or facebook or instant message!! so no worries that he would be checking on my liw acccount. hehe. THANKS ALL <3
cavvento
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My FH is in a similar scenario in that he has 2 cousins that he's really never seen. He's 'friends' with one on facebook but he sadly admits that it's really done nothing to enhance their relationship. If you want to, that's fine, but just keep in mind that it may or may not kindle a friendship. I'm just saying this to avoid disappointment if even after friending, things remain status quo.
