Need advice...
So one of FH's groomsmen has this girlfriend. The short version of the story is this:
We used to work together in a restaurant. Not closely, she was a hostess, I was a bartender. But we did sort of travel in the same circle. Plus, in Bayside, where I live, we know all the same people, and go to all the same bars.
So about 4 years ago, FH and I broke up for about 6 months. Something happened (not really important what), and people heard some rumors. Well, this girl went around telling basically anyone who would listen that I wasn't worthy of FH, and that he is going to be so much happier when he finds someone better than me, and a whole bunch of much more catty, much more horrible and insulting stuff.
I have basically put her out of my mind, I don't associate with her at all anymore. But she's been dating FH's friend who is one of his groomsmen for about the same 4 years since this happened.
Well....I agreed to invite her as his date to the engagement party, but this was before FH asked his friend to be in the bridal party. It was a source of contention between us, me saying that if he invites the friend to be in the bridal party, anything that the friend participates in, he will be invited alone (rehearsal dinner, for example). This is why FH hadn't asked him to be a groomsman until recently.
The friend and the girl broke up, and we thought it was for good. So FH asked him to be a groomsman. The friend accepted, and was broken up with the girl until sometime this week. FH just told me that they got back together.
I am really unhappy. This girl said such horrible things about me and basically, whether it was intentionally or not, she tried to keep us apart.
Basically, my question is, am I right to not want to have her be a part of anything I do as a gesture of gratitude to my bridal party? She will be invited to the wedding if they are still together, but I want her to have no part in anything else. I feel as if she doesn't deserve to be a part of my happiness because she did everything she could to kick me while I was down. I try not to be a spiteful person, but she is someone I will just never forgive or forget what she did and how she acted, no matter what the reason or explanation. I'm not even sure she knows how much I loathe her. To be honest, I don't care either.
Any thoughts on the situation would be wonderful and helpful!!
Sorry this is so long and I'm also sorry that I sound like such a horrible person, I'm really not that bad!!![]()
We used to work together in a restaurant. Not closely, she was a hostess, I was a bartender. But we did sort of travel in the same circle. Plus, in Bayside, where I live, we know all the same people, and go to all the same bars.
So about 4 years ago, FH and I broke up for about 6 months. Something happened (not really important what), and people heard some rumors. Well, this girl went around telling basically anyone who would listen that I wasn't worthy of FH, and that he is going to be so much happier when he finds someone better than me, and a whole bunch of much more catty, much more horrible and insulting stuff.
I have basically put her out of my mind, I don't associate with her at all anymore. But she's been dating FH's friend who is one of his groomsmen for about the same 4 years since this happened.
Well....I agreed to invite her as his date to the engagement party, but this was before FH asked his friend to be in the bridal party. It was a source of contention between us, me saying that if he invites the friend to be in the bridal party, anything that the friend participates in, he will be invited alone (rehearsal dinner, for example). This is why FH hadn't asked him to be a groomsman until recently.
The friend and the girl broke up, and we thought it was for good. So FH asked him to be a groomsman. The friend accepted, and was broken up with the girl until sometime this week. FH just told me that they got back together.
I am really unhappy. This girl said such horrible things about me and basically, whether it was intentionally or not, she tried to keep us apart.
Basically, my question is, am I right to not want to have her be a part of anything I do as a gesture of gratitude to my bridal party? She will be invited to the wedding if they are still together, but I want her to have no part in anything else. I feel as if she doesn't deserve to be a part of my happiness because she did everything she could to kick me while I was down. I try not to be a spiteful person, but she is someone I will just never forgive or forget what she did and how she acted, no matter what the reason or explanation. I'm not even sure she knows how much I loathe her. To be honest, I don't care either.
Any thoughts on the situation would be wonderful and helpful!!
Sorry this is so long and I'm also sorry that I sound like such a horrible person, I'm really not that bad!!
