need advice about BP please!...kinda long

someone else just asked a similar question...and this is something i have been stressing about for a really long time...so i hope you girls can give me your honest opinions/advice.

i always envisioned a small bridal party, NO more than 4 on each side.

when we got engaged i asked my oldest friend, who growing up was like a sister to me, to be my MOH.

i asked my brother's wife who i am very close w to be a BM. i've also become close w FH's SIL, and i asked her and FH's sister to be BMs too.

i also have a young cousin i'm very close with. so i asked her to be a Jr BM.

here is my problem: my MOH is a girl i used to be very close with growing up, but whom i hardly see anymore. i still consider her to be one of my best friends, but we just dont' see or talk to each other hardly EVER anymore. then i have 2 best friends who i am VERY close with; whenever i say i'm going out w friends it always means them. i've considered them my 2 closest friends for years now. one of them i think may have liked to be in the bridal party, but i don't think she was TOO hurt that i didn't ask her. but the other is SOOOOOOO upset about it. she has brought it up several times.

the thing is i really WOULD like to have them in the BP. but i am torn bc i REALLY DON'T want to make it bigger than it is. we are only inviting 140 guests, and hoping for about 100 to come. i feel like a huge BP will seem ridiculous and i think i'll feel stupid about it the entire wedding day. also, FH says no...our BP is big enough and he will feel like it's ridiculous too if i add them. but i love these 2 girls and really want them included.

sorry this was so long. anyone have any advice? i've asked them if they will do a reading together...but i know at least one of them is really hurt that she's not in the BP. and i can't have one and not the other.

TIA!!!

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Posted by MikeandJess

I think you should just include them. You'll regret not inviting them but I don't think you'd regret inviting them.

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I agree totally!

i think you're right...but every time i bring it up and tell FH i'm upset about it, he gets annoyed and points out how big the BP will be and how it'll look stupid!!

If all your worried about is looking strange with a 6 BMs and a 100 person wedding, dont even worry about it. It wont be strange AT ALL.

There is no guest to BP ratio to follow. I never even thought of that

I say invite them into the BP so you dont regret it later. Its only 2 more ppl.

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

i think you're right...but every time i bring it up and tell FH i'm upset about it, he gets annoyed and points out how big the BP will be and how it'll look stupid!!

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it won't look stupid. I'm having a larger bridal party then I originally wanted but I don't regret inviting any of them into the bridal party. I'm having 150 guests and i'll be having 7 bridesmaids. I know you have to respect your FH's opinion but at the end of the day they're your friends not his.

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

i think you're right...but every time i bring it up and tell FH i'm upset about it, he gets annoyed and points out how big the BP will be and how it'll look stupid!!

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it won't look stupid. I'm having a larger bridal party then I originally wanted but I don't regret inviting any of them into the bridal party. I'm having 150 gifts and i'll be having 7 bridesmaids. I know you have to respect your FH's opinion but at the end of the day they're your friends not his.

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you're right...and obviously he should realize how important it is to me if i keep bringing it up.

i have to decide soon, the girls are all going to get measured in 2 weeks for their dresses.

thanks for the advice!!

idk - i have a tiny BP so i didnt even include my sister

at the last minute i included my brother and sister - i am so glad that i did

i think you should include them if:

you keep thinking of ways to spend extra time with them at the wedding/before the wedding

you keep trying to think of ways to include them in pictures

i was making up all this stuff about my brother and sister in my head, trying to think of ways to include them in my day then i realized that is why you include them in the BP!

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

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Posted by MikeandJess

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

i think you're right...but every time i bring it up and tell FH i'm upset about it, he gets annoyed and points out how big the BP will be and how it'll look stupid!!

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it won't look stupid. I'm having a larger bridal party then I originally wanted but I don't regret inviting any of them into the bridal party. I'm having 150 gifts and i'll be having 7 bridesmaids. I know you have to respect your FH's opinion but at the end of the day they're your friends not his.

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you're right...and obviously he should realize how important it is to me if i keep bringing it up.

i have to decide soon, the girls are all going to get measured in 2 weeks for their dresses.

thanks for the advice!!

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Good luck!

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Posted by lwny427

If you are really against a bigger bridal party, maybe you could include them in other ways...like having them do a reading during your ceremony. I'm blanking on suggestions other than that, but I know there are other ways to incorporate people.

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yeah, i actually already asked them to do a reading together...and said if they wanted to each do their own, that would be fine too.

one of them i'm pretty sure was happy w that...but i think the other one looked at it like a consolation prize or something. so i kinda felt even worse.

but i may just be overreacting. i'm gonna ask the friend who seems ok w it if she thinks it's really bothering our other friend. if she thinks it's fine maybe i will just leave it w them doing a reading.

thanks girls for all your advice.

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Posted by JeanetteandSteve

i think you're right...but every time i bring it up and tell FH i'm upset about it, he gets annoyed and points out how big the BP will be and how it'll look stupid!!

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I disagree w/ Steve, maybe that's because our BP is Huge including the BM who is MIA talk about stress .

We have

1- MOH
3- BM (one is really acting flaky tho )
3-Jr. BMs
1- Head FG (she asked for the title since she's the oldest)
3 FGs

1- BM
3- GM
4- Usher/ Chuppa Holders

I am going to suggest you decide soon tho, since my Bridal Shop told me we had to order or BM dresses by 12/1 or we will not have them in time for my wedding (6/7/08). I ordered from Renata's and the designer is Bill Levkoff.

HTH