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***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

btrflygrl Posted:

***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

Here's the facts:
I live in my own apt, FH lives w/ parents and our dog.
FMIL offered for us to stay there for a bit till we find a place (or leave NY which we want but she doesn't know) and pay rent (I'm sure it'll be minimal)
My landlord asked if we would be living there after the wedding (I think she forgot about our dog) and the rent is $650..it'd be a tight squeeze, but I think we could do it

**Should we: live with his parents and pay rent, live in my apt, or look for a bigger place...money is an issue here and we won't buy in NY because we do not want to stay
MarcellaBella Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

Posted by btrflygrl

Here's the facts:
I live in my own apt, FH lives w/ parents and our dog.
FMIL offered for us to stay there for a bit till we find a place (or leave NY which we want but she doesn't know) and pay rent (I'm sure it'll be minimal)
My landlord asked if we would be living there after the wedding (I think she forgot about our dog) and the rent is $650..it'd be a tight squeeze, but I think we could do it

**Should we: live with his parents and pay rent, live in my apt, or look for a bigger place...money is an issue here and we won't buy in NY because we do not want to stay


WOW 650 for rent! that's fabulous.. In all honesty, I would be on my own.. there's nothing better than that and with all the stress of wedding planning and all the outsiders who put their 2 cents in, you need somewhere where you can just be together, alone and have no one to bother you..

Good luck sweetie! =)
mlp924 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

I agree with Marcella! Living with your inlaws, no matter how great you all get along can be stressful. Newlyweds need their privacy. $650 is a great rent. Hopefully you'll still be able to save for your move out of state.

Good Luck
halloweenbride04 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

For $650 I would have FH move in with you and split the rent!

We moved into an apartment in my grandparents' house (to save $) and they charge us minimal rent but even with our own entrance and completely separate living quarters I wonder if I can do it for another year.

I agree with MarcellaBella.....
peabody Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

Are you able to bring Bailey with you?

I think you two should move into together. That is a great price, $650.

I think you 2 need to get used to living together without the inlaws. It's a transition that I believe (and this is only my opinion) you two need to do with out anyone else's interference (spelling??)

This is just my opinion.
Kelly9904 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

I agree with everyone especially considering you are not currently living together. Will it truly feel like you are newlyweds if you go to living iwth your inlaws and your FH never even leaves?
PErsonally I know I would want to make that transition together and 650 is sooo cheap for rent! I would sacrafice, stay in the apt, even though it may be tight and stick it out until you figure out what you want to do.
Re evaluate after 6 months then maybe go live with your in laws, after you two have had some alone/newlywed time!

Good Luck
neesiepie Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

living with the inlaws is not an easy way to start a marriage. live together-just you, hubby, and dog.....

princess99 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

My advice is to live on your own. My sister did that a long time ago,and lived in a private apt. in my parents home with private entrance etc, and you can tell no matter what it was not a good siutaion. They knew her every move- when she was coming and going out, etc. If you can afford to be on your own, it is probably the best thing you can do.

jess2504 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

I agree with everyone and I am trying to push FH to move out of his father's house when we get married as well. His father is always in his business and even when I stay over on weekends he drives me crazy. You have no privacy that way, especially when you are paying minimal rent, they think it is an excuse for them to come up whenever they want and tell you how to live your life. DEFINITELY move into your own apartment, even if you think you get along great with your in-laws, things change when you move in with people.

jenny2penny Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

$650 is a great price and I am not sure how much better you can do. So if decide not to move in with FILs I would ask landlord now if they will allow dog,,,,so you can start hunting or reconsider FILs.

I made the decission back in May,,,,MOVED in June 1st with FILs. We pay $100/mo to them to cover utilities. I dreaded it. up until the day moving I cried to FH because I wanted my apartment, was afraid I'd have to give up my bunny becasue of their dogs, and PLUS FH left for 2-months of Coast Guard training in VA. BUT,,,,,,,,,,,IT WAS THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (sorry for caps )

I loved having my own apartment, kitchen, storage, decorating, space, freedom,,,but to save money....I am willing to lose that for a temporary time.

My FILs are GREAT. They are not nosey, we come and go as please, and have access to laundry when want, and a backyard/BBQ (did not have that with apartment).

Only you 2 know your situation. I was paying $750 in rent and it was a great place, 2 bedroom deadend block, great landlords. But to now be saving $750 a month is PRICELESS.
But again his family is great.

So think wisely. It's not forever and can help get you on your feet.
sammi102 Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

I am currently living with FH and our dog, our rent is a bit much, (we're also in CT) but it's definitely worth it. I can not imagine living at home with either set of parents. You definitely don't want to start off a wonderful marriage like that. I'm sure there is a way where you can work it out where you can live on your own. Good luck!

deedee Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

Just a little FYI, we are living w/ FIL's and its a great help but, it does get tough. We don't pay any rent so I can't complain- but sometimes you do need your privacy and we don't have much of that in our situation.
Nowadays it's so hard w/ the market to buy, and if you would be paying rent anyway w/ FIL's, I would say just live on your own...You will be happier as Newlyweds with alot of privacy!
Good Luck
btrflygrl Posted:

Re: ***NEED ADVICE AND SUPPORT

Thank you all for your kind words......I actually just found a cottage in the area that is only a bit more than what I pay now and I'm going to try to look at it today. Living with the FIL would be a last ditch resort if we were truly desparate.

Again, thank you all for your opinions, they are greatly appreciated

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