NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Sunshine128 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 05:25 PM

NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

MOVE IN WITH THEM to save for the wedding and for a house..... we will save approximately $50,000 and will hopefully get a house in a year, our wedding is a year and a half from now... HOWEVER... we've lived together ALONE for over a year now... do you think this will put a strain on our relationship? We will be living in their basement... it has a refrigerator, stove, and microwave... no bathroom... there are two upstairs, but only one shower... his mother has said she wont come down, unless she needs to do laundry, which she will tell us in advance.... PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE!!! I'm VERY torn!! Sorry soo long!

kdelace Posted: Dec 27, 2003 05:30 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

My friend did that with her now husband. They did save money and got a house- but she did say it was very difficult for them since they did live alone- and they did it for less than a year. It is a personal choice but be prepared because you will not have the freedom and privacy you once had...

Jen_n_Dale Posted: Dec 27, 2003 06:04 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I think it is how you get a long with them. My bro and my sil moved back home with us to save money. Everyone warned my sil saying how difficult it was going to be. It was the best! We always had someone to hang out with. Always someone to have breakfast with. I think it brought us closer. But we all like one another so it never gave anyone a second thought.

luvsun27 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 06:06 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Well....$50K is a lot of money to save...think about how long it would take you to save that if you lived on your own and had to pay expenses. I know that you will give up your privacy for a little while...but in the long run, look at how much faster you will own your own home. Do you get along with FH's parents? I would do it...but that's just me.

btrflygrl Posted: Dec 27, 2003 06:07 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

WE did it...I sleep in the spare bedroom until after the wedding....it's saving us $650 a month in the rent I was paying. We are figuring about a year from now....so 6 months after the wedding or so....if you get along with them, go for it. $50 thou is a heck of a lot of money.

jenny2penny Posted: Dec 27, 2003 06:34 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

only you guys know your true relationship with your in-laws-to-be. We moved in with my FILs back in June and it's been OK. I missed not having my holiday decorations and I miss having my own kitchen too. but the savings are great!!!!

kimmie Posted: Dec 27, 2003 06:47 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Thats a hard one. Im not sure what Id do and I get along with my future in laws fine but thats alot of hard work if you ask me. You will do whats right for you guys, try it if its not working then get your own place again right? Keep thinking 50K if things get rough!!! GOOD LUCK Youll be fine...

wenndypoo Posted: Dec 27, 2003 07:10 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Wow, that's a tough decision!
It sounds like you will have your own space, and she may make the effort to respect your privacy.
Personally, I would do it. It's only a year, and 50k is alot of money. I would see it as a rare opportunity to save some serious money, and suck it up for 12 months!
Seriously though, I think it depends on your relationship with your IL's, and how you two would handle the loss of privacy and freedom to some extent.
What does FI think?

butterfly20 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 07:33 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

50k is alot.... I asked my fh(who normally would say not to) and he said he would do it

Sunshine128 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 08:42 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I really get along with them great... his mom is a little overbearing though...she'd want to cook, clean, etc... which is good in one way, and a little too much in another.... I've gone through soo many changes and moves this past year and a half (lost both my parents..moved in with fiancee, we moved twice ourselves) and I just hate to get adjusted all over again.... but it is ALOT of money... ughhhhhhhh.... why cant I just win the lotto!!! LOLOL...

RedHead Posted: Dec 27, 2003 08:59 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I think it would be hard to live with an in law..But in the long run you are doing it for a greater good. Even if you have to lose some privacy for a while...man i think i would do a lot to get a good down payment for a house.
I guess i am lucky that we bought our condo already and in the past year the value of it sky rocketed.. so there is our down payment.
So if living with the in-laws helps you out I say try it.

Sunshine128 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 09:07 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Thanks everyone!! You guys are sooo helpful!

Xelindrya Posted: Dec 27, 2003 09:10 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I do it now.

I moved in May before we got engaged to save money for an apt. Then we got engaged. Still here. I don't sleep in a separate bedroom though.

Sunshine128 Posted: Dec 27, 2003 09:11 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

We wouldnt sleep in a separate bedroom either, thank god!!!!!

prncssrachel Posted: Dec 28, 2003 12:30 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

Welcome to my world! JT and I lived together out of state for over a year and we recently moved back to NY and in with my parents. Although they are great, it's hard, REALLY hard at times! BUT, it's only temporary, and we are really saving, so if I were you, I would take advantage of it. JMO!

palebride Posted: Dec 28, 2003 01:16 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

i think right now it would seem like a long time, but if you look it in the scheme of life...its really not that long of a time, so i think it would be worth it for all of the money you'd be saving.

nov2004bride Posted: Dec 28, 2003 01:22 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I hate to go against everyone but I personally would not. I moved back home with my parents alone and it is soo hard. I can't wait to get out. Even though I love them it is hard living on your own for years and then having little privacy. I don't even think about the money I am saving. I couldn't even imagine being here with my FI too. I am getting an apartment in the spring again but we are going to split the rent. Then after the wedding he will move in. $50k is alot of money to save but I rather save my sanity JMO

Sunshine128 Posted: Dec 28, 2003 01:33 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I'm soooooooooo confused! LOLOL

shelly3950 Posted: Dec 28, 2003 10:09 AM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

I would do it! My mom has made the same offer. My FH refuses since she lives in LI and we live in the city. (which I think is silly since he works in LI). $50,000 is a lot of money and to be able to buy a home so young is so great!!!!!!

But it depends on a few things-
1. What are you inlaw's values. Do they understand that you have lived together and need privacy. Are you allowed to share a bed and do they understand you will most likely be having sex in thier home and will need your own privacy.

2. Are they home often? Will you two be able to have some privacy and the house to yourselves?

3. How do you get along with them. If you don't get along with them, it will be a big problem. You could get annoyed and you have to decide to share it with your FH (who may or may not get very defensive and it turns into a fight) or keep it to yourself (and communication is key in a relationship). For me, my FH agree about my mom's flaws (she is very messy), but he really gets along well with her.

Only you can decide.

kathleenmarie Posted: Dec 28, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: NEED ADVICE-- Fiancee's parents want us to

my FBIL wanted me to move in with him to save $ becasue he has a house and lives alone and I have a small cottage. I just couldnt do it. I needed my own space. but thats just me. I sometimes regret it now cause i would have had a ton of $ but I had to do what was right for me. You have to decide what is right for you.