NEED ADVICE IN THE WORST WAY - UPDATED

My Father passed away 9-years ago and I always said that the day I get married, my two brothers are going to walk me down the isle. My brothers have been there for me through thick and thin and one of them actually took the provider role in my house until we were all able to be on our own.

My Mother calls me today out of no where and says that she has had something on her mind that she needs to get out. She is offended that I am not having her walk me down the isle. I was lost for words and could not even think about what to say.

I love my Mother to death and now that I think about it, maybe I was wrong not to ask her? I just always pictured my brothers doing it and she even knew that.

I know in the end it is up to me, but I just need some thoughts.

This is a tough one. Maybe talk to you brothers and see what they say. Then maybe sitting down and talking to your mom may help. Maybe do a dance with your mom?? Or somthing to make her feel extra special. Good Luck!! Lots of Hugs for you!!

Sit down and talk to your mom about it. It is very traditional that people automatically assume that a male should walk you down the aisle. Don't feel bad that it did not occur to you to have it be your mom. Give it some time and decide what you want and explain your reasoning whatever you decide to both your mom and brothers. I'm sure if you are honest with them, they will be there for you on your wedding day.

I understand that is hard for your mom but I think you should tell her that she will be honored in another way but when it comes to giving you away that you always envisioned your brothers because they possess many of the characteristics of your father.

I have two older brothers and if god forbid anything happened to my dad - the thought of asking my mother to walk me down the aisle would NOT cross my mind. I would def. ask my brothers.

A friend of mines was in a situation like this but not b/c her mother was upset. She made the decision ahead fo time to use all three b/c she didn't want anyone to be afended or feel left out. So what she did was..
She walked down the aisle w/ her mother while her brothers awaited her at the end, and when asked who give this bride away, her brothers where there to give her away. At first when she told us this is what she had planed on doing I admit it seemed a little too much. But in the end it worked out well. It wasn't confusing at all

ETA: or you can do it vise versa you know , your brothers walking you down while you mother is seated, and when you approach FH at the end of the aisle you mother can rise and give you away

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Posted by FDWedding07

This is a tough one. Maybe talk to you brothers and see what they say. Then maybe sitting down and talking to your mom may help. Maybe do a dance with your mom?? Or somthing to make her feel extra special. Good Luck!! Lots of Hugs for you!!

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This is EXACTLY what I was going to suggest! I'm so sorry Bari, this is a tough one but I am sure if you have a heart to heart with your mom she will understand. Absolutley have a mother daughter dance and maybe not have a special dance with either of your brothers so that can be mom's special thing.

sit down and talk to your mom... maybe you could have your oldest brother and mother walk you???

My mother actually posed the same question to me a couple of weeks ago. My father is still living but my parents are divorced... I had always pictured both of them walking me down the aisle but once they got divorced I figured it would look silly, so i dropped the idea. My mom seemed offended but we worked it out and agreed on that she gets a dance with me too...

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Posted by ntunison

sit down and talk to your mom... maybe you could have your oldest brother and mother walk you???

My mother actually posed the same question to me a couple of weeks ago. My father is still living but my parents are divorced... I had always pictured both of them walking me down the aisle but once they got divorced I figured it would look silly, so i dropped the idea. My mom seemed offended but we worked it out and agreed on that she gets a dance with me too...

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My mom suggested that the elder of my 2 brothers walk me down, but I honestly am closer with my other brother so there is another dilemma. My Mother is a born yenta and I am sure she got this thought from everyone of her yenta friends. I just feel like I hurt her, when I really did not even do anything.
I have to sit down with her when things die down a little. I am just so afraid that when we are all together on Sunday, she is going to bring this up in front of everyone

You definitely need to try and avoid the discussion at Easter dinner.. I understand your dilemma but I can't relate as much bc I don't have any brothers, I do but they are my half brothers and I am not close to any of them.. and my parents are divorced and I feel strongly about having my mom walk me down the aisle ALONE.. but it's causing grief in the family bc everyone thinks I should have both my parents walk me down the aisle.. it's tough.. you definitely should sit down and explain to her why you feel the way you do about having your brothers walk you down the aisle.. and definitely have a dance with her.. I hope it all works out for you.. I am here if you want to talk..
xoxoxoxoxo

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Posted by sugarkube4

You definitely need to try and avoid the discussion at Easter dinner.. I understand your dilemma but I can't relate as much bc I don't have any brothers, I do but they are my half brothers and I am not close to any of them.. and my parents are divorced and I feel strongly about having my mom walk me down the aisle ALONE.. but it's causing grief in the family bc everyone thinks I should have both my parents walk me down the aisle.. it's tough.. you definitely should sit down and explain to her why you feel the way you do about having your brothers walk you down the aisle.. and definitely have a dance with her.. I hope it all works out for you.. I am here if you want to talk..
xoxoxoxoxo

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Thank you so much
It's funny, I was brought up Jewish but we always celebrated X-mas. I am having Easter dinner at my apartment and to top it all off, FH & I are getting married by an Italian Rabbi.
And my Mom is worried about tradition??

Boy, this is hard and I am not sure I have any helpful advice...

But I definitely think talking it out with everyone is the best solution...

maybe talk to your brothers first and then on Sunday, discuss with the three of them.... maybe someone will back down and say - hey you know what, the two of you go ahead....

First off Big to u sweetie..... I know how it feels to have everything set in your mind to go one way and someone throws a mokey wrench in it....

I say have your brothers walk you half way down the aisle and then have your mother come and walk you down the rest of the way.

What do you think about that.

HTH

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Posted by FDWedding07

This is a tough one. Maybe talk to you brothers and see what they say. Then maybe sitting down and talking to your mom may help. Maybe do a dance with your mom?? Or somthing to make her feel extra special. Good Luck!! Lots of Hugs for you!!

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I agree with this too, maybe tell her that you see your bros as you male role models, and you really want them to walk you down the aisle. Then ask her is it would be ok if you did the dance with her at the reception.

Most men dont get insulted easliy, with that why dont u have this ,, Just a idea

Have both brothers walk u 1/2 way down to a point where your mom will be , at that point have them give you to her & have her walk you the rest of the way ,,

Dont know if thats a good idea or not , but sounds cute,, That way no one is left out..

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Posted by tonimike

Most men dont get insulted easliy, with that why dont u have this ,, Just a idea

Have both brothers walk u 1/2 way down to a point where your mom will be , at that point have them give you to her & have her walk you the rest of the way ,,

Dont know if thats a good idea or not , but sounds cute,, That way no one is left out..

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I agree, good luck with everything!!

I actually spoke to my mom and we worked something out. I suggested having my brothers walk me down the isle and then she will be the one that will be 'Giving me away'.

Sharene gave me this idea and I thought it would be perfect to make everyone happy, most importantly myself.

She was VERY excited and sounds at ease.

& to all my girls!!!