Need advice (long)

Don't quote, i'll probably delete

I havent spoken to one of my closest friends (we'll call her Lia) in over a year for a bunch of reasons- she put me in the middle of a fight she was having with my best friend & bridesmaid (Lia was trying to talk to my bm's ex) & also when my grandfather passed away, she didn't acknowledge it at all- I live with my grandparents, so my friends all know them and call them grandma & grandpa- so that was strange to me.

anyhow, I was not planning on inviting her to the wedding because of all that, but lately, I feel like I want to try and reconnect with her and see if we can patch up our friendship- besides the stuff above, we never ever fought- but now neither of us refuses to budge or call or anything.

what would you do? tia

That's a tough question and one I think only you can answer. If it's in your gut to bring her back into your life then definitely do it. Make sure you want her back in your life...has she changed from the person she was before you fought?

If you do put yourself out there with the olive branch you do have to be prepared that maybe she won't want to reconcile.

If you are looking for an apology she may not want to give it as well.. I would really put thought into this.

Do you reach out and reconnect and sweep it under the rug and can you live with that.

If you can then I say you can never have too many GOOD FRIENDS!!

Good luck!!

Sure would...

In fact, I invited someone I have not spent time with in like almost 10 years - but she was a very special friend to me and I didnt want to have any regrets...

I say, do it - you have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.
hth

i am also in the same situation with a friend, i miss the friendship but how many time do you put your hand out and get it slapped away! but in the same time i feel bad for the friends shiip we use to have..


i was thinking about sending her a card, why not try something like that!

*edited it posted while i was sitll typing

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Posted by Browneyesncute

i am also in the same situation with a friend, i miss the friendship but how many time do you put your hand out and get it slapped away! but in the same time i feel bad for the friends shiip we use to have..


i was thinking about sending her a card, why not try something like that!

*edited it posted while i was sitll typing

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thanks thats a great idea- its so sad- breaking up with a friend is way worse than any guy break-up I ever had.

That's a tough siuation. I would really be mad at her but if you really value your friendship with her I would be the bigger person and call her. then see how things go and if things go well invite her.

good luck!
Let us know what happens!

im the eternal forgiver so i always feel that if you can muster up the strength to forgive someone and give them a second chance, you should.

i believe we all deserve to give what we expect.

i think you have personally think about it and search your heart if you really want this person in your life. if so, i'd drop them an email or call.

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Posted by Browneyesncute

i am also in the same situation with a friend, i miss the friendship but how many time do you put your hand out and get it slapped away! but in the same time i feel bad for the friends shiip we use to have..


i was thinking about sending her a card, why not try something like that!

*edited it posted while i was sitll typing

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my mom always says not to put anything in writing you might 'regret' later...
now regret is a strong word, but i follow that rule.

I have several 'friends' i'd like to reconnect with, but i'd rather do so on the phone or in person because of all the 'what ifs' involved in writing it out.

i know it sounds paranoid or whatever, but think back to highschool and the notes that would get passed around and how people would show them to people they weren't written to.

I know if i extended the olive branch and the 'friend' turned it away it would be hard enough without knowing they had the letter to reread and use to 'mock' me.

again, paranoid and extreme I know, but it stems from a real situation i was in.

To answer the OPs question though, now that i've rambled

Definitely try to reconnect if it's something you want to do. What if's are not worth it, if you miss her, tell her. Just make sure you are prepared if she doesn't feel the same way.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by Browneyesncute

i am also in the same situation with a friend, i miss the friendship but how many time do you put your hand out and get it slapped away! but in the same time i feel bad for the friends shiip we use to have..


i was thinking about sending her a card, why not try something like that!

*edited it posted while i was sitll typing

---

thanks thats a great idea- its so sad- breaking up with a friend is way worse than any guy break-up I ever had.

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that's so true

I say call and try to patch things up.

Hey, Just read this post!

I know it's tough to lose touch with close friends. If it's really bothering, perhaps reach out? Don't necessarily invite her to the wedding right away, feel it out and figure out if she has matured since you last spoke....
'breaking up' with a friend is probably harder to get over breaking up with a boyfriend! It totally hurts on a different level...

Good luck with everything and keep us posted!