NEED ADVICE PLEASE HELP!!!

What do you say to 'relatives' (like cousins with their families) make it a point to call my FMIL to say:

'We hear so & so are getting married at JA, I hope we are invited to the wedding... you will talk to them right??...THEN they try to find out what the wedding date is (WHY??? so they can crash the party????)...Thank GOD my FMIL tells them that we are downsizing because we have to buy a home, but it goes in one ear and out the other!

Anyway FMIL tells us to give us a heads up which is nice but I know these relatives are going to ask ME when and if I run into them ...and one lady I hear is planning on waiting for my FH to leave the room or call my cell to ask me if she can come.... I dont want these people at my wedding not because they are on FH side but because i have to downsize on people i want to be there & I dont know them and they are not that close to him immediate family! I met them maybe once, some are from out of state, and my FH hasnt seen them or spoken to them in years ...and some are just mooches for the free drinks and food. Some people really have a set of balls on them!
Sorry I wrote so much but MAX isnt on and i need to vent and hear some advice!

Thanks girls!

Wow thats a tuff one!!!
Ok honestly?? If it were me.. I would call them before they got a chance to call or corner me. I would tell them that you are in the middle of buying a home and had to cut back your guest list so much and unfortunatly many people like them and members of your family and most your friends wont be able to attend. Then to make them feel more involved I would suggest getting together for dinner at your new house ( or resturant) when you get back from your HM so they can be part of the 'celebration' and it wont cost you as much as if you had them at the recption.
JMHO
Hope this helps!!

I'd be honest, there are a few friends who think they're getting invited to my wedding and SURPRISE: they're NOT!!! They'll get over it. I am cutting back too so people will be surprised but they'll realize that we're not made of money.

What is with people? I am going through the same thing. People come up to me (work aquaintances, distant relatives, parents friends) and start talking at me about the wedding and using phrases like 'we are going to have so much fun!' I would NEVER assume to be invited to anyones wedding! It makes me so angry. Half these people will dissapear from our lives over the next year anyway...why would I want them at this occasion?

I would be gentle about it, but firm. I have said things in a very heartbroken tone, as if it is beyond my control: 'Ooooh! I wish so bad I had the kind of resources to have everyone we want, but it just isn't going to work out that way! We have to have a very intimate affair with a 100 person limit. I can't wait to have you over after the honeymoon though so I can cook you a meal with all my new wedding stuff!'

---

Posted by Soon2bMsZ

Wow thats a tuff one!!!
Ok honestly?? If it were me.. I would call them before they got a chance to call or corner me. I would tell them that you are in the middle of buying a home and had to cut back your guest list so much and unfortunatly many people like them and members of your family and most your friends wont be able to attend. Then to make them feel more involved I would suggest getting together for dinner at your new house ( or resturant) when you get back from your HM so they can be part of the 'celebration' and it wont cost you as much as if you had them at the recption.
JMHO
Hope this helps!!

---

That's a great idea.

thanks girls at least I am not the only one. I decided to say this:

Iam Sorry, its nothing personal, and while i would love to have everyone there, i simply cannot afford to. My Fh and I had to reduce our numbers on both sides, but we'll get together another time for dinner.

what do you think?

YES!!!!! I was worried about the same thing, what we should do is send out wedding announcements on our wedding day... The other problem is that many relatives expect to stay at the house which leads to over-crowded cranky people, with a mom who's tired of cooking for everyone and then you can forget about bride getting dressed at home pics.....

I think looking back I would have preferred a destination wedding!