Need advice please....WWYD? (very wedding related)-UPDATE AT BOTTOM!

OK background: FH has a GM lets call him Bob, and Bob has a wife Mary. FH and Bob lived together in college, FH was a GM at Bob and Mary's wedding. Bob abd Marry live in Boston. They are terrible at keeping in touch and Bob and FH don't talk regularly, but FH still asked him to be a GM, in Feb. Mary was preggers so FH asked Bob if he felt comfortable committing to being a GM in Nov (Mary was due in Aug) and Bob said yes

Mary had the baby premature in late July (I posetd about it then). The baby was tiny and was in the hospital for a month. The only communication we had with them was when we heard (thru facebook) that the baby was born and FH texted to congratulate. Bob texted back and they spoke a bit and Bob said he was excited for the wedding. Baby was in hospital a month but Bob and Mary were on facebook constantly so from what we gathered the baby's condition wasnt TOO serious.

Baby went home end of Aug. We saw thru facebook posts and pics she was doing well - we sent a gift and never heard anything so I posted a comment under a pic asking if they got it and Mary wrote back saying yes thanks, you must be getting excited. We sent invites beginning of Sept. Obviously we understand they are soo busy but despite them being on facebook ALL THE TIME we hear nothing. FH sends emails about tuxes to GMs - nothing. BM sends emails about bachelor party, nothing. Nothing nothing for 6 weeks.

10 days ago we hear thru a friend who heard thru a friend that baby is back in hospital with infection. We feel terrible and send texts/emails checking in. Nothing. Yet they are on facebook constantly STILL and from what we see the baby's condition isn't serious.

So now. RSVP date is tomorrow. If they were just guests I would assume they arent coming but he is a GM, and the 2 times we did hear from them they said they were excited for the wedding. We need to know if he is coming! I understand their concern is the baby but if they are on facebook every single day a quick msg or text doesnt seem too much to ask. So I told FH he has to text or call him. FH doesnt want to. I said he should say something like this:

we know you're going thru a lot and we totally understand and are thinking about you and baby every day. just wanted to check in and see what you were thinking about the wedding - if you're going to be able to make it and still be a GM. If you dont think you can we totally understand we just need to make the necessary adjustments.

I mean - I do soooo get that they have soo much important stuff going on but we still need to know, dont we??

WWYD???

ETA: UPDATE in replies

I agree that you need an answer. I think your FH should CAL them and leave a VM. if you don't hear back then assume he is out. As you stated you both seem very sensitive to their situation and as long as there are no hard feeling in the long run then it shouldn't be a huge deal.

If they talk and he is still commited to being in it. Then take his word for it, have your FH remind him of the deal with the tuxes and let it be. Don't even get into it regarding the bachelor party they can always have a guys night after the wedding and when the baby is 100% again.

that thei rbaby is okay though.

Oh and some people are just ADDICTED to FB. Try not to let that get you upset. I think it's a little weird too but it honestly is like an addiction. Plus it's a lot easier to give one update on their FB page and let 349875438975 people see it, than have to call/text/email that same amount of people with the same news.

Hope it all works out

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Posted by soontobecruz

I agree that you need an answer. I think your FH should CAL them and leave a VM. if you don't hear back then assume he is out. As you stated you both seem very sensitive to their situation and as long as there are no hard feeling in the long run then it shouldn't be a huge deal.

If they talk and he is still commited to being in it. Then take his word for it, have your FH remind him of the deal with the tuxes and let it be. Don't even get into it regarding the bachelor party they can always have a guys night after the wedding and when the baby is 100% again.

that thei rbaby is okay though.

Oh and some people are just ADDICTED to FB. Try not to let that get you upset. I think it's a little weird too but it honestly is like an addiction. Plus it's a lot easier to give one update on their FB page and let 349875438975 people see it, than have to call/text/email that same amount of people with the same news.

Hope it all works out

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Exactly what i would do

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Posted by IheartDanger1023

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Posted by soontobecruz

I agree that you need an answer. I think your FH should CAL them and leave a VM. if you don't hear back then assume he is out. As you stated you both seem very sensitive to their situation and as long as there are no hard feeling in the long run then it shouldn't be a huge deal.

If they talk and he is still commited to being in it. Then take his word for it, have your FH remind him of the deal with the tuxes and let it be. Don't even get into it regarding the bachelor party they can always have a guys night after the wedding and when the baby is 100% again.

that thei rbaby is okay though.

Oh and some people are just ADDICTED to FB. Try not to let that get you upset. I think it's a little weird too but it honestly is like an addiction. Plus it's a lot easier to give one update on their FB page and let 349875438975 people see it, than have to call/text/email that same amount of people with the same news.

Hope it all works out

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Exactly what i would do

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this is what I told FH to do, thanks ladies!! Also- totally not concerned about the bach party just used it to illustrate the lack of any sort of response from them.

UPDATE:

Mary just posted on fbook
'update #2: ENT team just diagnosed a mild Laryngomalacia or 'Floppy Larynx.' no big deal. she will outgrow it. in the meantime, it makes her vulnerable to reflux, wheezing and feeding issues.'

so that is 2 updates on baby in 3 hrs. and now we know it isnt so so serious ('no big deal'). so definitely think FH needs to call and ASAP

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Posted by MerSaysEh

UPDATE:

Mary just posted on fbook
'update #2: ENT team just diagnosed a mild Laryngomalacia or 'Floppy Larynx.' no big deal. she will outgrow it. in the meantime, it makes her vulnerable to reflux, wheezing and feeding issues.'

so that is 2 updates on baby in 3 hrs. and now we know it isnt so so serious ('no big deal'). so definitely think FH needs to call and ASAP

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I agree! Its safe to call!

Gotta call, kiddo.

Hope it all works out and their baby is okay.

Def call! I hope it all works out for you - I know how stressfull it must be

Glad the baby is going to be okay... Good luck with the phone call