Need advice re: a friendship... Updated at bottom

I had a best friend since JHS. She is also now my son's godmother.

She got mad at me during my wedding about something... confronted me about it 2 days after the wedding and we got into a big fight where she cut me off and hung up on me.

We haven't spoken since.

She didn't send me a card for mothers day, nor has she called or written to the baby ( her godson) I am more mad about that then what the stupid fight was about - ( It was a dumb petty reason IMO but she was really upset about it)

So in her TY card I wrote a nice note and included a pic of us at the wedding... still nothing.

DH and I just switched cell phone providers and I got a new # today.
Do I call and give it to her? email it to her?
Move on and forget about it??

I'd email it to her and maybe reach out to her and say you'd like to talk to her about what happened. If she doesnt respond to that, then I would just let it go

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Posted by divabride

I'd email it to her and maybe reach out to her and say you'd like to talk to her about what happened. If she doesnt respond to that, then I would just let it go

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ditto!

If you relaly miss the friendship, I am always in favor of making the effort. Reach out again even if its one more time and tell her that its important to you to put the past behind you, especially because she is in your childs life. In my opinion she is not being fair to you at all, but, I always say, do the right thing, and be the bigger person.

Just my opinion, good luck!

Thanks girls!!
I will email her and see what happens!!!

I am going to be the bigger person its just hard.. I don't know if I can look at her the same anymore.. I understand why she is upset ( although I don't agree with it) but to take it out on an innocent child?????
Even if we did become friends again I don't want her to be my son's godmother anymore... I don't think she deserves that privilege
I don't know how to go about fixing that though..

give it some time beofer you make any drastic decision and see how things go.....

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Posted by pinkstar025

give it some time beofer you make any drastic decision and see how things go.....

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I cant let go / ignore / overlook alot of things.. but that to me is unforgivable..
to go that long without calling your emailing or seeing your godson ( who is 2 1/2 so he is old enough to understand) is just inexcusable in my book.

I say try and reach out, but definitely do not refer to the fight as “not a big deal”. because it was clearly a big deal to her.

good luck!

i don't know whta happened...but what did happen, happened to you.....and you are the only one to know how you feel. I myself would be extremely upset if my childs godmother made no attempt in awknowleding them
one of my BM has a child and well long story short she sent the wrong email to me..and forwarded an email that had an attachemtn of an old email where she was talking A LOT of trash about me an FH (this was my BEST FRIEND) so we are no longer friends and she is no longer in my wedding...but i was close with her son...and still sent him a b-day card and an easter card and what not...

so i understnad how you feel.....its a tough decision

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Posted by Soon2bMsZ

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Posted by pinkstar025

give it some time beofer you make any drastic decision and see how things go.....

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I cant let go / ignore / overlook alot of things.. but that to me is unforgivable..
to go that long without calling your emailing or seeing your godson ( who is 2 1/2 so he is old enough to understand) is just inexcusable in my book.

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um...Its happened to me and unfortunately ive done that myself. My mom's friend had noone else to turn to and chose me as godmother but 1 yr after she made some horrible comments about my mom when theyve had a fight and I cut off contact with her right then and there. Its sad and i miss my 'goddaughter' but she doesnt even remember me anyway. Plus its not a huge deal since they arent even religious anyway...still sorry its happened to you and your son


so..based on that, I would say without a doubt try and heal this. If I had gotten a call from the lady instead of a b-day card with a goodbye note in it...i mightve grown up and made amends.

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Posted by divabride

I'd email it to her and maybe reach out to her and say you'd like to talk to her about what happened. If she doesnt respond to that, then I would just let it go

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I agree also...

Good luck!!

Ok well I sent her an online card... they email you when it has been viewed and I sent it a few days ago and she never looked at it.. I assume she deleted it b/c she has been online tuns of times since then. I im'd her but she ignored my im's.
I assume if I call her she will do the same..

Honestly its making me MORE mad b/c this really was something silly. Shes had Guys who she has known a few months or maybe a year walk ALL OVER HER and treat her horrible and actually do horrible things to her.. and she would still talk to them...

Me who really did nothing and has known her since the 7th grade .. and this is how she is treating me

I'm sorry. I had a 'friend' like that, where she'd let a guy treat her horribly, and she still dated him. But I said something that made her angry (and I really only said it to protect her because I thought she was making a big mistake...long story), and she never spoke to me again. And I never contacted her again because that's not a real friend. Anyone that would let an argument come in the way of their duties as godmother does not have their priorities in order. If you do try to contact her and she doesn't answer, then you are better off without her.

Im so sorry she doesnt want to respond

Just know that in your heart you really wanted to try it.

I would look into having her removed as Godmother just so you can find someone who can do the job the right way

I honestly think you gave it your best shot and this isn't worth the heartache or pain to you. I would move on- you could always appoint an honorary godparent.
I did not have both my Godparents growing up due to family fights(they were my mom's brother who was my BEST FRIEND until he met his 2nd wife who hated us all and my Dad's sister who got cut off for years since she is horrible.) I am now friendly with both but I doubt your son will miss it. I only missed my Godfather since we were so close until I was 13. It will be ok- you just need to start the healing for yourself. You deserve better in my opinion and she is probably very jealous of you and will reach out when she see it for herself.

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Posted by ckgmwedding

I honestly think you gave it your best shot and this isn't worth the heartache or pain to you. I would move on- you could always appoint an honorary godparent.
I did not have both my Godparents growing up due to family fights(they were my mom's brother who was my BEST FRIEND until he met his 2nd wife who hated us all and my Dad's sister who got cut off for years since she is horrible.) I am now friendly with both but I doubt your son will miss it. I only missed my Godfather since we were so close until I was 13. It will be ok- you just need to start the healing for yourself. You deserve better in my opinion and she is probably very jealous of you and will reach out when she see it for herself.

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I agree.. I am sorry you are going through this!!! I hope everything works out for the best!!!

That's such a shame.

I had a college friend who basically did the same thing to me. She ran to me for every little problem (even when she was dating a married man and he was messing with her head). After a lot of drama, she eventually dumped him, and started dating some other guy.

She got mad at me for something completely stupid and not my fault. I reached out to patch things up (even though I was mad at her as well). I thought we had resolved our problem, but her new boyfriend didn't like me. Ever since, she wouldn't return my phone calls, never acknowledged cards I sent. I finally stopped trying. That was over 10 years ago.

She called my house once (thanks, caller ID), but she didn't leave a message and never called back.

It hurt a lot that she blew me off so easily after everything we had been through. Looking back at our friendship, it wasn't very healthy.

I'm sorry she is being so disrespectful to you and your son.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I hope everything works out for you.