Need advice - rehearsal dinner

OK ladies - I need some advice. ..
My mom is paying for our reception/invites/favors.
We are paying for flowers/dj/limos/photographer/videographer.
FFIL - nothing as of yet.

I know tradition calls for the grooms parents to pay for the rehearsal dinner and we would like the grroms father to pick that one up....how do we ask him to do that? Keep in mind, we've been asking for a guest list for months and we can't even get that from him, lol...he told FH to do it.
I feel bad b/c my mom is picking up the biggest part of the bill and we're spending about $12000 ourselves. We don't think it's a terrible thing for FFIL to pay for RD - money is definitely not an issue for him (if it were, we wouldn't ask), FH just doesn't know how to ask him to pay for it...FFIL can be difficult at times and hard to communicate with

Anyone else in this situation? Any ideas/suggestions? Do you think this is wrong of us?

No advice from anyone?

im sort of in this situation but opposite FHs parents are helping and my parents ahvent said a word...and unfourtunately my mom is the type of person to get very upset if i ask in some way cause shell think that all i care about is getting money from them which is sooo not true but anyways..ive tried to kind of hint at it..ive emailed my parents of the details when weve booked things..asked them for a list of addresses for engagement party even saying 'ohh brians parents said theyd throw us an engagement party but we're not sure where yet' and i asked my dad if he thinks we could ask a family member who has a HUGE backyard to see if we can have it there and he was like no just have it whereever brians parents want it so we're squishing everyone in his parents backyard even tho i know my aunt and uncle would def let us have the party there! argh

but maybe have fh leave emails or voicemails about some details saying how much ur parents are helping blah blah..and see if FHs family says anything...if not just have fh say something like ohh i dont know if we can have a rehearsal dinner cause we cant afford it and how u cant ask ur parents for any more cause theyve done enough..then see what they say..good luck!!!

ugh i'm in the same boat...
my FMIL offered to pay for a band... and then backed out... and now we don't know how to approach her about the RD... BUT she's also said she's not coming at all so we don't know WHAT to do.

i'm thinking a BBQ is what we'll have to do, and we'll be the ones to host it.

i have no advice but i do have hugs.