With my original wedding at Lands End, my FILs were going to pay for the entire venue costs (about 25k total) but last night threw us a curve ball and said they would rather give us the cash so we can buy a house asap but we would have to have a MUCH smaller wedding...
After discussing with FH and people Im close to, everyone says take the money. I think it is the smartest way to go. So far we only put deposit down on LE $1k which FH is willing to lose out on....
My biggest problem is idk how to go from planning a 175 person wedding to a 50-60 person wedding at a a smaller place...HELP!!!
Sweeks
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Yikes! Well I agree with your family and friends that the money would be amazing for you to put a down payment for your house, such a better investment!
Maybe do a small private wedding just immediate family and close close friends, then have a more laid back type of party somewhere easy like a vets hall or something to that affect. I know some people do that when they do destination weddings, they come back and do a more laid back type of big party.
In the long run it definitely is the smart choice though to take the money for a house. Especially out here on Long Island with everything being so expensive and you would want to put down 20% to get rid of the PMI charge every month. :)
klk072285
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Wow that is a big curveball.
If you were to put that money toward the wedding, do you think you would recoup it in gifts which could go towards a house after?
Land's End won't make you responsible to fulfill your contractual obligation?
What ever you decide on - it sounds like you have some pretty good FIL!
db276952
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That's tough... I hate to think this way, but do you think your guests will cover their plates? If so, you'll most likely break even in the end if you choose to have a larger wedding...
But that aside, I really think you should do what ever you think will make you happiest. If you want the big wedding then go for it and if you'd be just as happy with a smaller one then do that. At the end of the day, its a once in a lifetime experience and I think you have to do what is right for you and FH, this is a little corny but when I first started planning I couldnt decide what to do and someone told me to think about the memories you want to have 20 years from now, and how you want to re-tell that chapter in your life, looking at it from that perspective helped a lot to make my decision.
But I am sure what ever you choose will be wonderful :)
jassy119
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That would be a huge glist cut but if you are really considering this your best option would be to start looking for other venues who can accomodate a small wedding or possibly restaurants with a private room.
jassy119
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Another option, if u still wanted a bit of a bigger wedding is to still lower you glist.. lets say to 100 and find a cheaper venue. I don't know what time your wedding was going to be before, but a afternoon could be cheaper than an evening or even switching to a Sun (which I know u may not want to do considering the dilema u had with your previous date). I am getting married on a Sun evening and for 120 ppl (min is only 100 though) my venue is lil less than 1/2 of what u would be paying at your current venue. So, something like this could maybe be an option for u.
lauren1802
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i dont think i could do it! although i already have a house so i guess it's different for me. im having trouble getting to 175-200 opn our list!
Jae
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omg i think we are gonna do it for real...looking into Jedediah Hawkins inn. this is crazy.
Jae
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Posted by klk072285
Wow that is a big curveball.
If you were to put that money toward the wedding, do you think you would recoup it in gifts which could go towards a house after?
Land's End won't make you responsible to fulfill your contractual obligation?
What ever you decide on - it sounds like you have some pretty good FIL!
they are amazing, trust me lol
since we literally just booked them, the will let us out of contract with $100 administration fee. and that is the ONLY contract we have so far!
Shanti12
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I have to get my actual # that we spent so far on the venue but for WM my minimum is 85. I kind of did it that way also because it's the same thing - I got $ from grandparents to put down for a house... but there is a little leftover for the wedding and I wanted to keep it not crazy expensive. I think it's still creeping up on 15k right now, but I'm trying to keep it around there!
Jae
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Posted by Shanti12
I have to get my actual # that we spent so far on the venue but for WM my minimum is 85. I kind of did it that way also because it's the same thing - I got $ from grandparents to put down for a house... but there is a little leftover for the wedding and I wanted to keep it not crazy expensive. I think it's still creeping up on 15k right now, but I'm trying to keep it around there!
that really isnt terrible, and WM is gorgeous...Im thinking we could do something for 10k max and spend the rest on a house? ugh idk...
Jae
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jedediah hawkins responded back to us and is totally doable, we have an appt this weekend to take a tour
Noelle2013
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Posted by Jae
jedediah hawkins responded back to us and is totally doable, we have an appt this weekend to take a tour
Jae
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we now have an appt tomorrow night AHHHH so exciting
MarryTheNight24
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If you're having 175 people I would think you would get around $25,000 in gifts. I would still have the big wedding. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
mara1017
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Posted by MarryTheNight24
If you're having 175 people I would think you would get around $25,000 in gifts. I would still have the big wedding. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
2012er crashing... Do not go into the wedding assuming that you are going to get back more money than you put in. If you are paying for your wedding it is almost guaranteed that you will pay more than the amount of gifts that you get back!
You will be very surprised by gifts that you get.It is always the ones that you think will give a good gift that will not and the ones that you think will give less of a gift that will surprise you!
Kristin31613
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In the long run, you are better off with a house. Suffolk County had a law that you have up until 6 months to get back any deposits, less $100. Good luck but i think you will have a much better time at a smaller wedding, I'm jealous!
Jae
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Posted by mara1017
Posted by MarryTheNight24
If you're having 175 people I would think you would get around $25,000 in gifts. I would still have the big wedding. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
2012er crashing... Do not go into the wedding assuming that you are going to get back more money than you put in. If you are paying for your wedding it is almost guaranteed that you will pay more than the amount of gifts that you get back!
You will be very surprised by gifts that you get.It is always the ones that you think will give a good gift that will not and the ones that you think will give less of a gift that will surprise you!
thanks for the advice mara! i totally agree and have seen it happen to people...i think the smaller wedding is definitely the way to go!
Jae
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Posted by Kristin31613
In the long run, you are better off with a house. Suffolk County had a law that you have up until 6 months to get back any deposits, less $100. Good luck but i think you will have a much better time at a smaller wedding, I'm jealous!
i think so too might even have it sooner than June since its a lot less complicated
Noelle2013
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Posted by Jae
Posted by Kristin31613
In the long run, you are better off with a house. Suffolk County had a law that you have up until 6 months to get back any deposits, less $100. Good luck but i think you will have a much better time at a smaller wedding, I'm jealous!
i think so too might even have it sooner than June since its a lot less complicated
