One of my BM's lives out of town and recently has gone through a bunch of short term location moves b/c she switched her jobs several times.
I haven't been in touch with her over the past month or so, the last msg she left for me was about being $ strapped a little bit b/c of security deposits for her various apts when she moved around, according to david's she still has time to get the dress a little later on for the July wedding.
While I understand her, I can't seem to reach her, and neither my voicemails or emails get answered.
We haven't quarrelled, but the whole thing just makes me a little nervous, I don't really know if everything is OK.
What should I do?
dubliner
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
I would be nervous too. If all else fails, I would have a backup plan for either replacing her, or excluding her. Things just happen sometimes and its possible that timing is bad for her right now. When you do get in touch with her, I would outline your concerns - she might be relieved.
OctBride03
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
Exactly what dubliner said!! you should have some kind of backup plan... just in case....
Good luck Alina!
nrvbrd
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
Alina:
I agree with the other ladies, have a backup plan.
It is so rude of her to avoid you.
alina
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
My back up plan is not have her there as a BM and have her come as a guest (I am actually a little relieved that she still has not ordered her dress). I don't want to ruin the friendship, but at the same time I don't quite have the guts yet to 'kick her out' of the bridal party.
I guess I'll keep on contacting her, and if no response, she won't even make it to the wedding, b/c I don't have her address.
OctBride03
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
Alina,
Instead of 'kicking' her out, have a conversation (provided of course you get in touch with her) and tell her, that due to the circumstances, it might be best that she not take this responsibility.... and offer her something else to do... OR instead of that, see what she thinks... if she thinks it would just be easier on HER if she is not in it... assure her you will NOT be upset, but you are looking out for HER... if you do it that way... you won't have to 'kick' her out...
hope that makes sense!
Good luck!
WishCandy
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
Definitely have a back up plan! Maybe give her another function in your wedding (one that can be expendable, if she doesn't show)- and get another bm.
put yourself in her shoes? it sounds like she is having a tough time...and I don't think your wedding is her priority right now
do you really want her as your BM?
offer to pay for her dress...
after all we spend so much money on these weddings...that an extra $200 for friendship is definitely worth it!!
michele31
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
Sounds like her life is a bit out of control right now. Can you swing paying for her dress? If not I would tell her that you will NOT be mad at her if she feels that being in a wedding party right now is too much for her. Don't be mad at her. I am sure she is just trying to deal with her life issues.
jennbaby
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Re: Need help about a BM!!!!!
It sounds to me like she is having a really rough time. I don't think she's avoiding you purposely, or if she is I am sure it's becasue she really is worried financially. I always say you never know someone's situation untill you are in their shoes. Can you do without her if she can't be in the wedding?
