My close first cousin's wife asked me if their son (17 yrs old) could bring his 14 year old girlfriend of 5 months to my wedding. (btw I have never met the girl) I had no intention of inviting him with a guest. I am trying to keep the guest list down. I am only having 50 guests. I really only want adults, I feel if I must have guests that are under 18 yrs old, they should be family only. My feeling is....it is beyond rude that she even asked me, but now that she did I feel like telling her the truth....which is I don't want a 14 yr old non family member at my wedding. I don't know how she may act, what she might wear, if she will sneak to drink alcohol....who knows. I am being paranoid maybe, but what 14 yr old girl should be allowed out with a 17 yr old boy on a Saturday night to a wedding that will end at half past midnight?!?? OK, that last sentence was a vent! The real question is..... How do I tell her NO!
MnM182008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Just say I am not inviting anyone under the age 18 with a guest, sorry it just isn't in my budget.
MrsSoto
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
You could say that you are only inviting adults with a guest, you might want to stay away from the word 'serious' relationship could God knows she could come back and say their relationship IS serious. Or maybe say with have a maximum of 50 guests and you are already over by a few who are family and you must invite them.
Oh you could also say the above things and then say 'if he feels uncomfortable, i understand if he would rather not come because he feels noone his age will be there...we would love to have him but hes a 17 yr old boy and its fully understandable'
the nerve!!!
sophisticat13
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
I agree with the above...tell her very nicely that you're so sorry, but it's not in your budget, you are already over your mininum and still have family members to invite. If she objects tell her that you really want him to come but that you understand if he is uncomfortable bec no one else his age will be there. That tells her that it is an adults-only party and also tells her NO in a very polite way
I think it's rude also but...at least she asked...some brides here had 'surprise' guests at their weddings and they weren't pleasant ones, so at least she had the decency to ask first lol
Nina1010
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Posted by sophisticat13
I agree with the above...tell her very nicely that you're so sorry, but it's not in your budget, you are already over your mininum and still have family members to invite. If she objects tell her that you really want him to come but that you understand if he is uncomfortable bec no one else his age will be there. That tells her that it is an adults-only party and also tells her NO in a very polite way
I think it's rude also but...at least she asked...some brides here had 'surprise' guests at their weddings and they weren't pleasant ones, so at least she had the decency to ask first lol
ITA...
JAAMS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Say that you and FH had a lot of 'guests' on your list, and you needed to figure out a way to cut it. Say that you cut it across the board for under age 18, that way your cousin knows that neither you nor FH are inviting any 'guests' under 18.
jeswedding
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
My rule was unless they are engaged or living together no guest. Might be a way to handle it...
But not okay of your family member.
FutureMrsKuehne
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Posted by MnM182008
Just say I am not inviting anyone under the age 18 with a guest, sorry it just isn't in my budget.
ITA...anyone under 18 is not being invited with a guest!!! thats how i would put it...and like u said, it was rude of them to ask in the first place...
Novia09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Be upfront and honest...
MissCanon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
just tell her the place said no minors due to alcohol being served
FutureMrsG
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
I told my family members that NO ONE under 25 was being invited with a guest and any of my cousins that are single or not in SERIOUS relationships are NOT invited with a guest. I have 286 guests and I cannot afford any extra...I was direct b/c I do not want to deal with any drama later.
AFutureBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
I would just say sorry it's just not in my budget. Honestly I think that is a bit ridiclous..she 14...like w t f . WHY she would even ask is beyond me.
SummerBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
I would just say you're VERY close to your minimum and you dont think there will be enough room, as much as you would love to have her. Takes all the blame off you and puts it on the size of the venue.
MissyFitz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
I would just say 'I feel terrible saying no but if I don't than it would make my other guests feel bad that I have her here when I didn't invite the other guests with a date. Sorry- Can't wait to celebrate wtih you!' short sweet and to the point!
rocketsummer17
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Posted by FutureMrsKuehne
Posted by MnM182008
Just say I am not inviting anyone under the age 18 with a guest, sorry it just isn't in my budget.
ITA...anyone under 18 is not being invited with a guest!!! thats how i would put it...and like u said, it was rude of them to ask in the first place...
ITA
depoc1011
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
seriously?!?!?! im sorry absolutley not!!!! hes 17, shes 14 its been 5 months!!! i cant believe you were asked this! i agree with the other girls tho in thier advice on what to say and what not....
Celeste617
Posted:
Member since
Re: Need help saying 'no'
Just be honest. I have been put in awkward situations and I just said 'Sorry, don't want to be rude, but we have been asked this before by others and told them NO.' But then I'm a person that doesn't really care about having people get upset with me!
